Archive | June 2021

Why Do People Ignore Me?

Unlike Eyes Repel

If I could be a fly on the wall in the minds
Of the people who know me, what would I find out?
I may know by osmosis or telepathy.
Compound eyes has the fly, but my own cannot see
Why most people ignore me. So riddled with doubt
That I turn to the occult and things of those kinds.

I do find the true answer by looking within
Where the soul has a dark space that I cannot hide
Nor can I hide within it because it’s so dark
That I’m blind even to my apparent birthmark
To be worn on the outside with much pride implied.
There are reasons why I get under my own skin.

A complex of bad habits, like talking too much
About only myself and not letting folks speak
Drive a wedge between me and all others I meet.
People do like to talk but not due to conceit.
It’s that sense of communion that most people seek.
Personality often is used as a crutch.

I don’t want to be ‘negative’ yet it’s my way
Of dissecting the challenges life offers me.
I should keep to my own self my piss poor outlook.
All the jerks in the world I must let off the hook
Just because I may be one. Again, I can’t see
Past the surface illusions that we all portray.

I know that I am boring, but not by first hand
Information directly from people, but from
The collective unconscious we have access to.
I know too damned much about what I have to do
With the pearls I am given, and it would be dumb
To succumb to society’s perverse demand.

Urban Renewal

Evolution of Metal and Silicon

Ancient rubble metallic and dark under light
Of a motionless fake moon amid the night sky
Is obliged to be taken control of by man,
Since it’s all that it’s known since the big lie began –
Not the one most apparent too many deny
But the one built in Eden through programming sleight.

The first man to give birth was also the first man?
Take that pill with a grain of saltpeter and die!
Body parts like the trick rib can only exist
In the mind of a story tale maker. Dismissed
Is all sense that is common. It’s the reason why
Men can do what they want to. God says that they can.

First, throw out the old rule book. Then, start a new game
With a storyline truer to life and nature.
But will we ever get to that point on our own
When the twisting of truth into evil is known
To be strong and effective in tainting what’s pure?
What has been done to humanity is a shame.

Metal can be conductive if of the right kind.
All the rest is the substrate of common belief –
Each of us a discrete component built within
The electronic intelligence of our sin.
Lack of truth in the circuitry causes much grief.
It’s perhaps the sole reason folks become maligned.

About Sleep

Nocturnal Flight Of The Spirit

An addiction to sleeping…? Why not a disease,,,
To be unconscious one third the time I am here
Should be called my existence? It fits like a glove.
In my dreams, like a free bird, I zoom out above
Where I can’t when I’m wide awake in constant fear
As my life quickly wastes away and no one sees.

It’s at worst therapeutic. The cycle of sleep
Has a three quarter rhythm like some poetry.
It’s the nearest escape hatch without absolute
Departure from the physical. Rather acute
Is my life situation. Where I need to be
Is far off from where I am, so my soul does weep.

Meditation and sleeping are somewhat the same.
They both bring much relief from the troubles at hand.
As each is made available, there is my chance
To remember that I am not my circumstance.
Terminal, though it seems, may it help me expand
Far beyond a solution to mitigate shame.

I rely now on guidance. I’m on cruise control.
Things I do throughout my day I don’t think about.
Mindfully automatic with each daily task
With no judgment from me, I do most humbly ask
That I live through my hell with no measure of doubt
That redemption is possible for my damned soul.

Healthy sleep is wellbeing of body and mind.
I have more energy, and my mood can remain
At a workable level. If I were ok –
Like no one on this earth – I’d have nothing to say.
I exist to express things, and it keeps me sane
And conscious of the moments when I’ve been unkind.

Tooth And Nail

A Dastardly Duo

Couples come in varieties strange and bizarre.
Tooth And Nail are an odd one, evil and deadly.
Anyone who would fight them must have balls of lead…
Or perhaps there’s a cotter pin loose in the head
Of the foolish one hellbent embarrassingly
To take on such a duo, as daft as they are.

Now, Miss Tooth can be itchy, but with a big ‘B.’
This madame of mendacity speaks through her roots
That are deeply embedded in clandestine ways
Of creating catastrophe. She earns the praise
Of her flathead accomplice whose pistols he shoots
Like his masculine motormouth – aggressively.

Mr. Nail is a character man machine made.
His rock hard heart’s desire is to be driven home
Into some structured substance where he would then stay
With his sweet tooth nearby him, the old fashioned way.
To be caught in a fight with them is a syndrome
Of extreme consternation and hard karma paid.

Tooth And Nail – Do avoid them whatever the cost.
If by chance you engage them, know that you won’t win.
They’re the masters of trickery and pure nonsense.
If there isn’t a choice, then the proper offense
Is a blast from the back end served with a big grin.
With a strange sense of humor, one rarely is lost. 

Love One Another

Nurture The Union

Creatures breed because nature gives them expertise
In the ways of comingling of infinite form.
No one needs to remind them how sacred love is,
But some bone headed humans would fail at a quiz.
As the species who needs one amid an ice storm,
We would learn a good lesson from the birds and bees.

Yet, a world of advantage is at our avail.
As you love one another do not make a bond.
Let it move like the seas between shores of your souls.
Fill each other’s cup fully, as drinking consoles
With a taste in its curing. Like a magic wand,
Bless this world with your oneness and tell a love tale.

Drink though not from one cup, and don’t eat the same bread
But give one to another as sun gives daylight.
Sing and dance, and be joyous, but spend time alone.
Lute strings quiver together, yet each has its tone.
We dance to the same music. It seems only right
That symphonic its influence can be widespread.

Give your hearts, but not into each other’s keeping,
For the hand of God only can contain your hearts.
Stand together, yet not too near one another.
Temple pillars are spaced out, as one would prefer.
Neither oak tree nor cypress each shadow imparts
On the other, so that each may do their own thing.

Who’s Going To Do Something?

Stopping The Momentum Of Evil

All the world’s statisticians give truth that is raw.
So straightforward the science, its transparency
Can be taken for granted. Our whole lives could change
For the ultimate better. It is rather strange
That we don’t choose what’s best for our society.
The life spans of democracies are wrought with flaw.

I know that common sense is ignorable when
One nineteenth the defense budget is spent on peace.
Good health is not as profitable as is sickness,
And it means that some of us cannot have access
To what everyone should have. All crime would decrease
If more people felt worthy and human again.

Greater economic opportunities for
Women and educational ones for children,
The reduction of violence against women…
Are some places where our attention hasn’t been.
If the human condition cannot change, what then?
We don’t play by the numbers. We mess with the score.

Who’s Going To Do Something? It’s all up to us,
And that feels catastrophic right down to the bone.
But this truth is the answer to no question asked.
All democracy suffers, and so we are tasked
To address the condition become too well known…
But to those in authority, superfluous.

The Life Purpose Myth

Being IS Its Own Purpose

Childhood dreams of Becoming someone cool someday
Fueled by love and encouragement from everyone
Are the kind that, when clung to, become life fulfilled.
If I got to the point where I’m constantly thrilled,
Where each day is another one filled with much fun,
Would I not get so bored that I’d not want to play?

Or would I reach that happy place right in between
Gloom and mania where I can tolerate well
Challenges that life offers to me and all souls?
Is it too late to think about setting new goals
If the ones set in earnest are all shot to hell?
To those who are damned happy, I shouldn’t be mean.

I have cake yet uneaten, and as time draws near,
Getting up from the table is childish and rude
To the host of the household and all other guests.
I’ve no concern about what my other digests.
Each of us has the freedom to choose what is food.
All the pain comes from what we have eaten in fear.

I have been a small player in such a big game…
A bit role played to script in explicit detail
Is the life I’ve not eaten. To have is enough.
The perfect Magic Realist does play it tough.
Having chosen a path where my heart must prevail,
I’m now on a strict diet that can’t include fame.

The Most Obvious Secret

Not So Blissful An Ignorance

A circus of three rings is the number preferred.
It makes sense of insanity and it provides
Division of attention among all odd things
That congrue in a cluster where impotent kings
Take their hand at mismanagement. No one decides
What to not pay attention to by thought or word.

Divided is the nation. Two worlds are as two…
Incongruent but yet so. There’s no precedent
For divergent societies to understand
Civil war in a new age yet on the same land
Stained with blood of our ancestors. Our swift descent
Was decades in the making. It now has come due.

 In The Room are two elephants, both of great size.
Each ignored by the other, they merge into one
Grip that fits all occasions with realities
Fatally coexistent. The hope one may seize
Is that change is eternal. Nothing is begun
Without somehow expecting to deal with some lies.

Human Nature continues. I within it all
Am amazed and enlightened by all that is seen
As a fervent backlashing. Much wider awake
One becomes in observance. Another mistake
Nature may have made, and it may wipe the slate clean
Of its aberrant outgrowth. To it, we are small.

A More Ethical Workplace?

Human Resource Empowerment

My boss tells me to lie to my clients sometimes.
Faking it ‘til I make it is not quite my way.
Yet that’s what is expected of me at my work.
It’s as if when truth is spoken, folks go berserk.
Companies and their values can lead folks astray
Of their moral makeup due to innocent crimes.

People do things to others that aren’t very nice
Just because they can do them with no consequence
That’s substantial enough to encourage a change
In aberrant behavior. And it isn’t strange
That in lieu of a conscience, the uncommon sense
Is to sell one’s humanity at the best price.

Mothers lie to their young children, and that is fine.
Any act done in pure love is always ok.
If a gunman would ask me where people are hid
I would lie to deter him. My heart would forbid
Giving him the advantage. It isn’t my way.
My own spirit will tell me when I’ve crossed the line.

Life is not based on morals but humanity.
Morals change with the ages, and peoples, and lands…
But the pure human heart knows what is right from wrong.
Moral compasses are built but are not so strong
When selfish ego motives outweigh the demands
Of the earth and the whole human society.

Death Rattle

Painted Into The Corner Of Darkness

Stay Alive. That’s a challenge. I’d better not fail.
Chances are I won’t do that, but chances are that
I will die in the process through no fault of mine…
Not even indirectly, which would suit me fine.
Let the shit happen quickly. The drop of a hat
Is a reason acceptable for me to bail.

As the brunt of life’s karma comes on at full force…
When there’s no one to go to; all bridges are burnt,
And I can’t find an answer to save my own soul,
Have I left any reason to aim for a goal?
I must still think I’m worthy, because if I weren’t
I would not be attuned to a special resource.

As the hat drops, the shoe falls. I know not which one
To entangle the horns of with my intellect
Or the brute force I muster when misdirected.
Anyone who would say that I’m better off dead
Hasn’t suffered like I have and has no respect
For the foolish and how in err they get things done.

The Death Rattle I feel, and it hangs fairly low.
In the pit of my stomach is where it begins
To erupt through the heart chakra into my throat.
When denied every platform I need to promote…
I must know that it’s karma for all my past sins.
Hopefully there’s an answer my living can show.

 

The Time Is Always Now

The Infinite Coupling Of Existence

The body is a cosmos with a cosmos.
It’s made up of some particles – none that are me.
I’m the space in-between all the physicalness.
I came into this stardust to grow. My progress
Is determined completely by how well I see
I am not who the body is nor even close.

Knowing what time it is when a challenge comes due
Is somewhat of an asset that I have right now
Which is happening always. My life and my plight
Are two separate entities. I do me right
When I come to my senses – the five that allow
The connection to spirit in all that is new.

There is only one moment. In it everything
That is happening changes, for now and always.
Life is meant to have challenges. It’s how we grow.
Satisfaction is futile. As long as I know
That it’s part of all drama, my character plays
Its best role as a novice yet up and coming.

“This time you’ve gone to far, God! No more can I take.”
It’s a comedy act that I’ve played in the past.
I will deal with each crisis life tosses my way
And rejoice in its coming. That way I will stay
In relief of the burden. No longer typecast
The perpetual loser, I am my fair shake.

Never Give Up

Righteous Perseverance

One day I decided to just quit everything…
My spirituality and relationships,
My career, and life as I then knew it to be.
I went into the woods where God did speak to me
After asking, “What reason would come from your lips
As to why I should not quit? What hope will it bring?”

I was told, “Look around you. Do you see the fern
And the bamboo?” I said, “Yes,” and then I was told
They were both given good care with plenty of light,
Lots of water and nourishment. All was done right
To support and protect them from the bitter cold.
Divine providence is something they need not earn.

The fern grew rather quickly. Its rich brilliant green
Blanketed all the forest floor. From the bamboo
Came no sign of its growing. God chose not to quit.
With omnipotent intent, nature must submit
To the will of divinity. The bamboo grew
At a much slower rate, and it isn’t obscene.

After many long years the bamboo did emerge…
But somewhat insignificant. Yet within weeks
It shot up to great heights. Its roots took time to grow
And become strong for all that it would undergo
In its own unique process. That which my soul seeks
Will come not by my quitting. I can stop the urge.

Keep Breathing

Go On No Matter What

People say, “Just Keep Breathing; all will turn out fine…”
As if life is a breath test. It drives me insane.

I don’t mean to be cranky… or maybe I do.
I’m awash in confusion. Should my face turn blue
Due to misunderstanding, I’ve nothing to gain.
Crisis times trigger breathing by nature’s design.

That first breath was a doozy. It blew me away
From the one who contained me, for better or worse.
Why should I keep on breathing? It gets rather old.
I can breathe my damned lungs numb. Nothing will unfold
But a room full of hot air. Is my life a curse?
Or do those who can breathe well have something to say?

I take my breath for granted, as many folks do
In the mainstream of living and keeping ends tied
But it’s the only answer to staying alive.
We can never stop breathing. It’s how we survive.
Once the technique is learned, wellness can’t be denied.
Then I’m able to handle what I’m going through.

I can curse like a sailor because I was one.
I’ve screwed up rather royally for one lost soul.
I’ll breathe that along with the fresh air I’m allowed.
Things I’ve done in the past can never make me proud.
I’m alive to the point where I still can be whole.
The decision to breathe is a new life begun.

Racing Thoughts

Formula 1 Brain

So one after the other, they leapfrog around
And create their own business that can’t be resolved
By themselves nor known others. Their quest is futile.
In their race for more heartache each painstaking while,
They prevent me from being more spirit evolved.
What they come up with isn’t at all that profound.

Keeping me wide awake at nights, they have control
Of my very existence. I need to detach
From the process that isn’t a real part of me.
Knowing that it is not me allows me to see
What it is that would be but a more fitting match.
I know that which I don’t want and what makes me whole.

Panic thinking is useless. It serves no purpose.
From that powerful standpoint I’m able to choose
Something else to focus on as hard it may be.
I may regain some control eventually.
It seems to be a gamble. There is much to loose
Because if I do nothing, further I’ll regress.

Then there’s always the body – the final frontier.
Since I know thinking sucks now, I know my breathing
Will provide a diversion and needed relief.
When caught up in a problem, relaxing is chief.
A small pocket of comfort this small act will bring.
Issues still will exist, but stress will disappear.

Evolution Through Disruption

The Cost Of Living Buisness

All the worst of my problems alone I create
Through the master controller of identity
On the personal level. I’m doomed to attack.
For the rest of my life here I’ll just watch my back.
Evil doesn’t become me, but insanity
Seems to be what consumes me and authors my fate.

The abstracted part of me – the self not made whole –
Is only form identity. It’s not the same
As the timeless consciousness that I am truly.
Everyone is that essence with none else to be.
With this form I am subject to sorrow and shame
That I feel often times to the depths of my soul.

Oneself can’t be perfected. It’s like whack-a-mole.
Once things are put to order, something falls apart.
Never ending the struggle it is to portray
A complete living model. And I must obey
The aspect of disruption. It strengthens my heart
Just to know of the sick truth I cannot control.

Evolution of consciousness cannot take place
In a world picture perfect with no suffering.
One would dance on the surface of life and not grow.
Compassion and deep insights one can’t come to know.
Disruption in my life is a wonderful thing
If I can learn to trust it as God’s loving grace.

The Myth Of Milk And Honey

Not All That Glitters Is Gold

Stores filled with people clamoring for the best deal
As each fake Friday blackens throughout the seasons…
I must know which is symbol form that which is real.
I can only know that by the way that I feel –
Like a child in a candy world. Many reasons
I can conjure but none that the truth may reveal.

Differences exist between wealth and money.
One is purely a symbol; the other, concrete.
Confusion between these two is the cause of pain,
Suffering, and such issues that drive folks insane.
I’m a sad ‘weak in trading.’ I am in defeat
If I can’t see myself through the illusory.

Oddly complex abstractions, ideologies,
And inscrutable systems confound consciousness.
Physical is reality – the earth and trees,
And the waters and creatures partaking the breeze.
I do not believe I can be anything less
Than the earth that produced me for none to appease.

All the hills are dark shadows. Forever they flow
From one form to another. Indeed nothing stands.
God’s green earth is diaphanous. It disappears
Like the music of ages along with all fears.
My true wealth is a measure of how life expands
Through this one made of value who this world can know.

Life Or Death

Choice Or Sentance

It’s a matter of being – or not being here.
In one tenth of an instant all life could be gone.
Then what happens thereafter? Don’t go there so fast.
Though the grips of electrons at best only last
But a non-fatal flailing… do curse the new dawn.
Obstacles are withstanding. I can’t disappear.

Fascination I’m left with – it’s all that remains –
For the movement of particles… or anything
Well accustomed to light speed. I live for the spark
That gives honor to contrast between light and dark.
Only when it gets awful, destructive thinking
Leaves me languidly livid – the worst of all pains.

Living just for this moment, relief I do find.
Distraction from rejection is re-translation
Of the latter to loveliness, but at a cost
To the hurtful part of me who is rather lost
In this world become nasty beyond all reason.
Can creatures like electrons be known to be kind?

 If ever the thereafter consumes my yearning
For the pain to be over, the present is one
That cannot be mistaken for past rotten deeds
Perpetrated in darkness for my selfish needs.
That I get to remain here, true justice is done.
On no thin thread of mercy I’m willing to cling.

A Tear And A Smile

The Faces Of Life

With my face I’m an actor upon the earth stage.
I would not exchange sorrows of my heart for joys
Of the multitude fruitful. I’d not have the tears
Sadness makes to flow from me to laughter and cheers.
With a tear and a smile I give faith to my ploys.
None of life’s hidden secrets shall cause me outrage.

May the tear unite me with those of broken hearts
And the smile be the sign of my joy in being.
This, the crux of the framework for living life well,
Can become just the story that I’m meant to tell
To the world that gave birth to me, and it will bring
Episodes that are balanced in all of their parts.

I want hunger for love and beauty to be strong
In the depths of my spirit, for I have seen those
Who are satisfied being most wretched and vile.
Sighs of those I’ve heard yearning and Longing a while
Are the sweetest melody that one could compose.
May the hunger consume me as I play along.

Vapor rises from sea water. Clouds they become
That float above and over the hills and valleys
‘til eventually they encounter a breeze
Then fall weeping their way back to rivers and seas.
To encounter life’s cycles with relative ease
Is a role I’m worth playing and where I act from.