Tag Archive | lonliness

So… Live Your Life

There's No Alternative To Living

Who whispers the answers to what I haven’t asked,
Knowing that I seek guidance along my own way?
If my way is my own, should I not be the one
To reply to my questions? In doubt I must shun
Solutions I come up with each and every day.
I know not what I’m doing. This is my forecast.

“Live your life so that fear of death never enters
Your brave heart or your spirit. Live and beautify
All the things in your life. Respect all whom you meet.
Love your life. Be of service. Ignore the drumbeat
That is harsh and discordant, and never deny
Your alignment with your truth, as spirit prefers.

Find your joy and be grateful for all that you’ve got.
Gratitude is the attitude worthy of grace
To help you get through tough times with relative ease.
Grovel not to another as if their feces
Is of glorified essence. Self-pride do embrace.
If you cannot feel grateful, you suffer a lot.

You will sing like a hero your going home song
And not long for more time to relive what has passed
In a different way. The regretful one weeps
For the loss of the dying self. The wise one keeps
In the heart memories of well-challenged contrast.
Know that life is a blessing that doesn’t last long.”

The Saddest Lines

The Story Unending

I could write some sad lines with this sorry assed life,
And it don’t take too damned much to jerk myself off.
In some ways it’s a blessing perfecting the fool
So that love has a purpose to earn ridicule
From the sensible masses. The dog whistle cough
Is a thickness I cut through with my psychic knife.

In her heart she defeats me, and I know not why
In the midst of eternity now should occur.
 Incremental dissolving of love not cared for
And forever unspoken I cannot ignore.
How I long for the sweetness of things as they were
Is the reason I can’t go for a second try.

Some unknown evil spirit has occupied me.
What has taken my feelings infiltrates the void
Where my heart felt at home once. The unwanted guest
Is the hermit made harlot at one with my nest.
Will I get myself back without being destroyed?
Time I have plenty of. I shall just wait and see.

I can write through the darkness as if it were light.
Make believe is an artform the whore understands.
Illusion may expel her or turn her into
A benevolent entity. These lines are few
And the last to be offered. Survival demands
That I learn, then move on with improvement in sight.

Defeat

Temporary Loss

Don’t undo my undoing or my solitude
Nor aloofness. Dearer are you to me than one
Thousand triumphs and sweeter to my heart than all
The world glory I could have. Do knock down the wall
That protects my protection. Your work can I shun
If it shows me the falsity I have pursued?

Take away my self-knowledge and stark defiance.
Through you I know I’m yet young with swiftness of foot
Not to be trapped by withering laurels. In you
I have found my aloneness and joy overdue
For the scorn followed up with negative input.
If my pride attempts speaking, don’t give it a chance.

Take my sword and my shield. In your eyes I have read
That to be enthroned is to be in slavery,
And to be understood is to be leveled down.
I would be but a pauper if I wore a crown.
To be grasped is to reach but the fullness of me
Like a fruit to be eaten. What is there to dread?

Defeat my deathless courage, my bold companion.
You shall hear my song, silences, and feeble cries.
None but you will speak to me of beating of wings,
The urging of the seas, and such meaningful things.
With the storm we’ll both laugh, and what’s in us that dies
We’ll dig graves for them. Then we will stand in the sun.

Let Go!

It's A Flush

Deep spiritual cleansing is done at year’s end.
The completion of one cycle welcomes the new
With profound expectation that life may improve.
What on God’s green earth does it take for me to move
Past all past reawakening and get through to
That which is of most essence devoid of pretend?

In the past year I’ve learned how to write fairly well.
My opinion is fantasy to the degree
That I rate recognition. Others do much less
And gain love and respect. If contempt I express
Then the karma created cannot let me see
The next year without clinging to the past year’s hell.

 Learning how to let go of the life I create
Is a process encumbered by urge to sort out
What I need to get rid of that’s holding me back
From a possible future of feeling less lack.
Memories reoccurring bedevil all doubt
That my humble existence is governed by fate.

Nothing has any meaning, and life makes no sense
Unless others come part way. But if not at all,
Then it’s all up to me to survive and to thrive
In apparent aloneness yet fully alive.
May the gift that I offer some day not be small
Yet my growth in this new year be strong and immense.

Subjective Concerns

Profound Dissolution

Should my work become viral… that fever ensue?
This delightful delirium dared to be caused
Is the dream of my ego. What value have I?
At best, I’m called a wordsmith. Can that satisfy
What I feel I deserve? Should my effort be paused
Due to lack of ‘the basics’ as well as a clue?

What if I get the illness and can’t pay my bills?
Will my creditors know then that I do exist?
And should I lose my life, do I dream of that now?
Contemplation eternal is soothing somehow.
If survival accurses me should I persist
In this thing that I’m doing? The thought gives me chills.

In contempt of a rational means of access
To the ways of the spirit, have I made the choice
To be languid in leisure? Today, as it seems,
I am not quite in touch with my most cherished dreams.
There’s no reason to prove to the world I’ve a voice.
I can suck my own dick. There’s no crowd to impress.

My subjective concerns are not only my own.
Fear becomes human nature and how it evolves
Through processions of eons. My dark memories
Of past blunders while soulless cannot give me ease
Nor can they honor daylight. Consciousness dissolves
Every dream ever spat upon. I live alone.

Negative Conclusions

Awaiting the Verdict

Learn To Cry! Your prescription disqualifies me
From the positive outlook evasive to some.
Is my vision distorted? Do you know the cause?
Can the clue to what is now be found in what was?
Stick a dick in my sick mind. See if you will cum.
Fear and doubt plague the present. How can I be free?

Try to find some compassion? Untether my heart
From the grief, pain and sorrow to others I’ve caused
In my fight to be righteous in my twisted ways.
Give me hope for the future. Bullshit me with praise.
Seeking outside connection, true progress is paused.
If I must go on living, I need a new start.

My conclusions are baseless while dwelling within
This homemade dissolution I may well deserve.
Hopelessness is an option. I need but one more.
May my life provide many that I can explore?
Negativity teaches, if I have the nerve,
To prepare for its lesson then let it begin.

It’s My Pleasure

Welcome to Reality

It’s My Pleasure. It’s not that I want to relate
To the general populous. I speak my truth
From a place where few humans are willing to tread.
I spend much of my time there. To most I am dead.
In the place where my heart lives, am I that uncouth
As to let those outside it determine my fate?

I relate to my darkness. I see it play out
In what is called reality. Myself I see
In the lava of hatred. Its volcanic ash
Has the taste of my writings retrieved from the trash.
But, again, It’s My Pleasure. I’m willing to be
The small voice from the darkness. That’s all I’m about.

It just feels good to do this. I know it makes sense…
Quite a bit more than spending time eating the war.
Unaware of the soundbite, it knows not of me.
To be grateful I’m unknown is not to be free
From a darkness that I have encountered before.
If I write, who will read me? I toil in pretense.

It’s My Pleasure… a saying uttered in response
To someone having said, “Thank you for what you do,”
Is a strong held assumption that I make with ease.
Army weapons could silence me. Who would that please
In this place become third world? That could well be you.
Does it matter that my speech is clothed in nuance?

Please Don’t Go

Image of Silent Desperation

Mental maladjustment is sometimes what it’s called.
To lose all the connection to all that we know
Is to live in sheer agony. I can confess
That I know what it feels like. The mind is a mess.
It cannot function healthily nor can it grow.
In the living of life, one becomes unenthralled.

How would I comfort someone who’s feeling this way?
Simply because I’ve been through it, maybe I may
Offer some bit of clarity. All things are one.
When one cannot find within a sense of union,
A small shift in the thinking may better convey
That all are special characters in a big play.

We may all be mere pop-up’s on life’s big touch screen,
Popping in for a brief moment, then popping out.
But we all are the message we send to ourselves.
When one feels disconnected, it’s best that one delves
Into some form of practice to mitigate doubt
That the Myth Of Identity is the machine.

Every cell in The Body and person on earth
Has its duty to this life. How else can it seem?
Conscious obliteration of self can be done
In a way not so tragic, and it’s often fun.
We are not individuals. We are the Dream
Of Creation.
Don’t leave here not knowing your worth.