Tag Archive | turmoil

On The Brink Of Becoming

Unavoidable Excitement

Life gets pretty exciting as tightness gives way
To a lack of resistance. By one single thread
Does my wealth withered ego hang on to some thing
That will open the floodgates and easily bring
Tons of wealth headed for me. I’m sorely misled
By what life has to offer that I must obey.

Take your internet job search and stick it up where
Daylight never does enter. I’m not a damned slave.
I delight in my attitude being piss poor.
Suppose I interview you, you ignorant whore?
You are one third my age, and the way you behave
Is as if I’m some dipshit in need of a prayer.

“Get your sorry ass solvent, and pay your damned bills!”
Yes, I do get the message, but kindly fuck off.

Desperation is dangerous for all involved.
And the more I am fucked with, the less gets resolved.
I don’t feel like a creature that feeds from a trough.
I’ll avoid people judging me because it kills.

So, my phone remains unplugged. I’ll have no contact
With the world of disaster that I’ve created.
Well cocooned in my workspace, my value must grow.
I have asked for the universe, and I can know
What the world cannot tell me. I’ll rely instead
On belief in Becoming one who can attract.

Oneness Is Equal To Three Whole Halves

Mathematics Of Earth And Spirit

There’s a new app called bUttFuck. If life gets you down,
You can swipe, then bend over to get a lot more
Of what you’ve managed so far without any help.
When the downstroke is hard, there’s a strong healthy yelp
Bellowing through the being and out every pore.
There’s no difference between the smile and the frown.

 Life can be enigmatic if I make it so.
Like the weather in Wichita which is wanting,
It and I can be added to, multiplied by,
Or divided by consciousness if I apply
The least bit of excitement besides my writing
For the wonder of being a part of the flow.

Whole halves are what is needed in mathematics
Of the mental, spiritual, and physical.
Halves that are not whole, whorelike, will sell oneself short.
Body, mind, and spirit need provident support
From that which they’re a part of. Can this rationale
Get me through the next moment without using tricks?

Yes, it can. I can prove it to myself alone
Or through those who can feel me through the collective
Consciousness of humanity. Is it my choice
To reach out or keep silent my peculiar voice?
For a life that is peaceful, I’m willing to give
Whatever it may take, though I’d have to be shown.

Cave In

Inner Escape From Outer Turmoil

There cannot be a pain worse than surmounting debt.
As the tonnage increases it takes up more space
In the places my guts were before their seizure.
Should I act out in panic, more harm I’d endure.
By my credit score I am consumed in disgrace.
Every phone call or message I’ll take as a threat.

No wonder I’m so weary and pissed of a lot.
Energy that I would have for creating things
Is diverted to struggle finding strategies
To reverse severe bleeding through tense arteries.
Embarrassed that I cling on to life’s apron strings,
A fine candidate for employment I am not.

Life is caving in on me. There is no escape
Short of something most tragic or a miracle
Like a change in perception so that I will hear
The exact steps I must take to mitigate fear
And the guidance to exit my fecal canal.
I’m a far cry from being in much better shape.

If I don’t find a hustle or some employment
In the next few days, things will get way out of hand.
And I don’t have an answer, nor am I afraid.
I must pay for the foolish decisions I’ve made.
May it cost me my life. That would be more than grand.
In survival, my task is to learn to repent.