Tag Archive | personal

A Blue Jay’s Visit

Mischievous Messenger

There can be no disturbance like that of a bird
Who’s become a winged messenger of the divine.
Like the clear sky is blue with some whiteness of cloud,
The blue jay’s colors match it. That’s why it is proud.
For your visit I’ve waited. You are a sure sign
That the words that I need to hear soon will be heard.

Petrified am I often of sudden noises
Loud and shrill, they’re a nuisance. I can’t get much done
When the country is high on bombs bursting in air.
I was there once, but this time it wouldn’t be fair
To the brave who have fallen. I celebrate none
Of the grossly ironic that life proposes.

But that damned cackling blue jay is at my front door
Making such a commotion. At first I’m annoyed
At it’s utter audacity at audio.
My first thought is that this frigging creature must go.
But then it occurs to me it must be employed
By the angels in heaven where I’ve been before.

I am told that in boldness I must carry on
And defend my position vociferously.
Time for shyness is over. I haven’t grown meek.
I am guided by spirit by now. All I seek
Is the means to remain open and completely
In the hands of divinity as is the dawn.

Why Do People Ignore Me?

Unlike Eyes Repel

If I could be a fly on the wall in the minds
Of the people who know me, what would I find out?
I may know by osmosis or telepathy.
Compound eyes has the fly, but my own cannot see
Why most people ignore me. So riddled with doubt
That I turn to the occult and things of those kinds.

I do find the true answer by looking within
Where the soul has a dark space that I cannot hide
Nor can I hide within it because it’s so dark
That I’m blind even to my apparent birthmark
To be worn on the outside with much pride implied.
There are reasons why I get under my own skin.

A complex of bad habits, like talking too much
About only myself and not letting folks speak
Drive a wedge between me and all others I meet.
People do like to talk but not due to conceit.
It’s that sense of communion that most people seek.
Personality often is used as a crutch.

I don’t want to be ‘negative’ yet it’s my way
Of dissecting the challenges life offers me.
I should keep to my own self my piss poor outlook.
All the jerks in the world I must let off the hook
Just because I may be one. Again, I can’t see
Past the surface illusions that we all portray.

I know that I am boring, but not by first hand
Information directly from people, but from
The collective unconscious we have access to.
I know too damned much about what I have to do
With the pearls I am given, and it would be dumb
To succumb to society’s perverse demand.

Evolution Through Disruption

The Cost Of Living Buisness

All the worst of my problems alone I create
Through the master controller of identity
On the personal level. I’m doomed to attack.
For the rest of my life here I’ll just watch my back.
Evil doesn’t become me, but insanity
Seems to be what consumes me and authors my fate.

The abstracted part of me – the self not made whole –
Is only form identity. It’s not the same
As the timeless consciousness that I am truly.
Everyone is that essence with none else to be.
With this form I am subject to sorrow and shame
That I feel often times to the depths of my soul.

Oneself can’t be perfected. It’s like whack-a-mole.
Once things are put to order, something falls apart.
Never ending the struggle it is to portray
A complete living model. And I must obey
The aspect of disruption. It strengthens my heart
Just to know of the sick truth I cannot control.

Evolution of consciousness cannot take place
In a world picture perfect with no suffering.
One would dance on the surface of life and not grow.
Compassion and deep insights one can’t come to know.
Disruption in my life is a wonderful thing
If I can learn to trust it as God’s loving grace.

Personal Growth

Desire For Independence and Physical Fulfillmemt

Personal is the nature of growth. On this day
Of my solar return to my moment of birth,
Recollections befall me, but so does relief
In the wisdom of knowing that my time is brief
As I contemplate how I’ve performed in this earth.
Have I been the topsoil or the difficult clay?

Having been fond of routine, in acquiescence
Of what I know is coming, I welcome the change
To a state without cycle wherein there is peace
From the struggle of growth. This moment I release
To existence eternal. My thoughts I’ll arrange
By emotional order. It could get intense.

Stronger I feel in many ways… others, not so.
I’ll accept the exchange as I do what I’ve done
To reflect divine light as a mirror while here.
Have I shown enough love, or have I lived in fear?
Accepting how I am now almost feels like fun
Like a game of prediction. The hell if I know!

A new cycle is started. In grace I evolve
And continue in service no dot at the end
Of this sentence means that I am not incomplete
While not here in the flesh with all hell to defeat
Even now my spirit has begun to ascend
Despite still having issues here I must resolve