Tag Archive | struggle

Moving On

Leaving The Past Behind

In the mind there’s no subtraction or division.
The way you think is pretty much the way you feel.
There’s no reason to make this all complicated.
Your emotions and thoughts can’t be separated.
How does one reach the point of beginning to heal?
The mind does addition and multiplication.

You can think someone is a wonderful person,
But the thought may change in line with their behavior.
Tomorrow you may think the same person as one
Not as you had before thought. Your thinking can run
Up and down the wide spectrum. It generates more
Of an overall image. By nature it’s done.

Thoughts repeated are memories. They come and go
As do most of your feelings. The ones that are strong
Are not easily changeable. They interfere
With the moment’s thought process. The one who is dear
To the heart is a problem when something goes wrong
With the contract. The drama has something to show.

When you add to your troubled thoughts they multiply.
Each one leads to another. Momentum begins
To develop. The unsettled mind is agile.
Take a break from these thoughts. Contemplate for a while
On the absolution of all your psychic sins.
Love is the only way for you to say goodbye.

Self-Esteem And Oneself

Darkness Of Spirit

Am I confident in who I am or am I
Struggling seeing worth as it pertains to me?
This affects how I think and feel and how I act.
I feel there’s nothing left in this world to distract
Me from myself and everyone. All that I see
Is sorrow sorely strangled. I’ve no alibi.

If I could say I’m sorry to those I have harmed
I might feel a lot better, though this won’t occur.
My darkness has a thickness outside of pitch-black.
Along with many other things, courage I lack
And a clue as to what to do. I would prefer
That the cross hairs of circumstance are not alarmed.

Guilt encrusted avoidance and isolation
Are to my full advantage. Passively I wait
For something bad to happen. I figure I’m due
For the next indiscriminate turn of the screw
All the time. Where the hell is there time to create?
If I keep feeling this way, indeed I’ll have none.

I need positive feedback to somehow negate
Negative reinforcement that reverberates
Through my entire being. Perceived worthlessness
Will undo me in due time. I made a big mess
Of my life. I’m in fear of what karma awaits.
I’m aware of but reject the hell I create.

The Emotional Scale

The Continuum Of Feeling

I am bored with my whole life. It makes little sense.
The longer I exist the less I am enthralled
By what life has to offer. The matter with me
Is that I’ve lost connection. I would like to be
Who I am at my finest. I’m neither appalled
Nor delighted. I’ve lost the feeling of suspense.

I want to feel contentment. I want to let go
Of all that I’ve been pushing against. I am done
With the struggle and striving. I just want to be
Comfortable and wholesome within my body.
I can get there on my own. I’m the only one
Who can make changes to my feeling status quo.

My boredom is the tipping point to contentment.
If I can make that tiny jump I’m on my way
To releasing resistance to feeling better.
The appropriate practice indeed must occur.
Life for me can seem like a delightful ballet.
How I feel at the moment I cannot resent.

I know that things are going sufficiently well.
With that thought I can feel some internal relief.
Noticing the positive aspects of my life
I can lower the frequency of psychic strife.
That I can control how I feel is my belief
Otherwise I’d be living unspeakable hell.

Anxiety And Depression

Personal Hell

The Dead End I have reached. There is nowhere to go
That is not without torment. “Struggle is okay,”
Would say friends if I had them. “We all can relate
To the bitter taste life has. When in a lost state
Know that you’re not alone although it seems that way.”

Could there be a ‘friend’ inside me who I don’t know?

What I feel is reality, and it is now.
Contemplating ending it all, I find relief
In the knowing that doing so may curse my soul.
What if it is already too much less than whole?
My own negative thinking I know is the thief
Of my spirit. I’d feel better if I knew how…

So we all go through hard times, and I would do best
To be patient with myself. I deserve a break.
Some rest and relaxation and good exercise
When I’m feeling much better is proper and wise.
I must move this damned body while I am awake
Whatever that may look like and rightly expressed.

I must force myself off the couch and on a walk.
I can create something from the pain that I feel.
Things that make me wonderful, blessed, and unique
And the things I appreciate counter the bleak.
I become all the better throughout the ordeal.
Therapy for the psyche is positive shock.

The Key To Allowing

The Remedy Is Within

If I don’t want something I won’t care about it
Then I will get it easily. That is to say
No resistance is offered so some attraction
Must occur without me getting anything done.
This profound paradox wants to mess with my day.
Though it does the mind boggle, I’m not here to quit.

If I really want something that does exist not
And I feel really badly about it I won’t
Be aligned with its coming – only with its lack.
So whatever I put out is what I get back.
I must give up the struggle because if I don’t
Then I build up resistance to what e’er is sought.

If I want something somewhat I’m indifferent
To its coming or not, there’s less difficulty
In attracting it. Therein there must be some key
To the way of allowing things to come to me.
If I believe and expect, it must come to be.
I rid myself of unnecessary torment.

If I really want something and really believe
In my soul I can have it, then my resistance
Has become nonexistent, and good things will flow.
So the key is to start little then let it grow.
As it gathers momentum… As I sing and dance
There’s no limit to what in this world I’ll achieve.

It’s Your Time

Your Adventure Stars Now

Begin to understand the love God has for you.
Have you not taken notice of positive things
That occur in your life and elsewhere in the world?
Anything you can do with your spirit unfurled.
You can choose not to struggle. The woe that it brings
Is a thing unbecoming for all that you do.

You proclaim your determination to release
Your resistance to God’s blessings once and for all.
And in so doing you give up your tight control
Of what is uncontrollable. You become whole
In the process of owning that which does enthrall.
Giving up struggle leads to your ultimate peace.

From outside of this knowledge you’ve not managed well.
There are so many pieces and not enough mind
To keep good track of all of them. Don’t interact
With those parts of the puzzle. Their lethal impact
Is the death of the spirit. Do not be confined
By your ignorance. It is the worst kind of hell.

It’s your time to begin feeling your way into
The vortex of emotion where all is sublime.
There it feels like clear answers to all your questions.
Definiteness of purpose is how your life runs.
Every instinct within you knows this is your time.
Don’t let what you have worked for become overdue.

Re-Tune Your Thoughts

In Pursuit Of Clarity

When the gas gauge nears empty do you cry in shame
With your head on the steering wheel wondering why
Such a crisis befell you? You’d hoped it would last
But it didn’t so you feel you’ve done things half assed.
You then feel the despair of a life gone awry
And you have no one else but your damned self to blame.

Slap a happy face sticker across that gas gauge.
It’s depressing to look at. Indeed it’s obscene.
This ridiculous scenario is to say
That we have built in gauges that lead us the way
That is of least resistance. Somewhere in between
The absurd and reality our thoughts engage.

It’s an indicator that tells you what you need.
Nothing more or less is it than a messenger.
It is time for a fill up if you don’t feel well.
Do not hang around others and put them through hell.
Offer thoughts more conducive to what you prefer.
Take notice of how you feel, and you will succeed.

When you’re pissed off at someone, that gauge is ignored
To your ultimate detriment. All of your thought
Is devoted to anger, like swimming upstream
When what you want is downstream. This recurring theme
 Is the lifelong conundrum in which you are caught.
Having thoughts that aren’t loving you cannot afford.

Give Up The Struggle

When Effort Is Futile

Often times I’m just ‘off’ and don’t know what to do.
It’s like trying to force my fist through a brick wall.
People don’t care about that. I know they should not.
I can’t seem to achieve things that matter a lot.
Why do I feel like I have to beg and to crawl
To the point where I feel so disheartened and blue?

Well, there’s tons of resistance here, right off the bat.
It means there’s an imbalance in my circuitry.
I could increase my effort to solve the problem…
Or decrease the resistance, or do both of them.
Effort I cannot increase. I’ve no energy
So the issue renders me flat as a doormat.

I must know when the struggle is too much to bear
Long before it becomes such through conscious intent.
That ‘off’ feeling vibration is something to heed.
It’s a clear indication that I hardly need
To waltz myself into a disgusting event.
That I’m not feeling my best I must be aware.

If the wall needs a hole in it, that can be done
Through alignment and focus on what is worthwhile.
The best way to go about it will be revealed.
Through the gift of acknowledgement all may be healed.
This simple information is worth a big smile.
The whole purpose of doing things is to have fun.

The Work You’ve Done

Benefits Of Accomplishment

You’re beginning to understand and finally
How much love God has for you and all creation.
Victory you can taste in the things you’ve asked for.
You know that as a being, you’ll always want more.
All the work that you’ve done is worth celebration.
Give yourself a big high five, and revel in glee.

You have given up many things holding you back
Like controlling things you know you cannot control
And attention to anything that brings you down.
The excuses you once used for wearing a frown
You have given up for the things that make you whole.
Fear you no longer have nor the feeling of lack.

You had done things the hard way, and half way at best
Even though you’d been wanting to go all the way.
Putting forth so much effort without a reward,
You became disillusioned and easily bored
With the heart of your life’s dream. Indeed you fell prey
To the dark cloud of feeling hopelessly distressed.

Now you do see the light just a little so far.
It is time for you to tell the world your story
Of focus of empowerment and worthiness.
As you feel your way into your growing success
Know that God’s faith in you is what can set you free
To express the magnificence of who you are.

No Struggle Is Needed

Resistance Is Futile

When comparing myself to others, I am weak.
Can I learn how to not give my freedom away?
If I’m told, “Don’t be selfish,” does this really mean
“Give support to my selfishness?” I’m better seen
Through my own eyes – not others’. I need not betray
Who I am, and this attitude is not unique.

The changes that I go through are for me alone.
If I make them for others, then they control me.
I’m not here to adjust nor to solicit praise
For the life that I’m living, for I will always
Be connecting my own joy to those who must be
Satisfied with my living. My freedom is blown.

Others mean well, but they simply don’t understand
That the struggle they teach others is counting on
Those same people to do what they need them to do.
With this change in perception, I can follow through
To the next point of focus. By then may it dawn
Upon me that my worthiness is rather grand.

I am able to focus my thoughts anywhere
That I choose to direct them. From them emanate
Energy that the universe gladly receives.
It performs well its magic for one who believes
That it is most important to be in a state
Of complete self-fulfillment with much more to share.

Empathy And Compassion

The Subtle Difference

True compassion is looking clearly at someone
Through the eyes of their better self while maintaining
One’s own sense of wellbeing. It’s good that we care
For how others are doing. Most folks are aware
Of the unending plight of human suffering
And would offer their help if something could be done.

Empathy is the understanding and sharing
Of the feelings of others. It falls somewhat short
Of the call to right action. One senses the pain
In the other, but pity is offered in vain.
This is certainly not conducive to support.
Negative connotations can empathy bring.

There are kindhearted people who can become prey
To those who’ve become needy professionally.
They’ve perfected the fine art of drawing folks in
To their confounding drama that makes the head spin.
One must exercise caution in giving freely
Of oneself in this real world in which we all play.

I can’t ignore the needy because I am one
Not through my better judgment does my growth occur.
Nonetheless, I am wealthy for all that I learn.
Need I feel like the object of someone’s concern
When I can live the life that I truly prefer?
I now know of compassion. New life is begun.

Tipping The Vibrational Scale

To One's Own Advantage

When consumed in vibration, like feeling my best
At whatever I’m doing, I need to take care
That I won’t then feel guilty. What if the next shoe
That will drop is calamity. What will I do
If my mood begins plummeting out of nowhere?
Can I know that forever and always I’m blessed?

“I have found my beloved. She is my soul mate.
Whenever we’re together our hearts beat as one.
I have wished for so many things that have come true.
Feeling so much on top of the world as I do,
I can know that my asking will never be done
And there is not an ending to what I create.”

I cannot know the bigness of provident grace.
I provide the ingredients through my desire.
Then forces universal take over from there.
All I need do is let go and be more aware
Of assurances given me as they conspire
To surprise and delight me all over the place.

Seeking thought non-resistant, the pleasure therein
Is the mind made more quiet. Can I tip the scale
From my guilt for enjoyment of life here and now?
I must feel myself worthy, then I can allow
What is good to come to me in every detail.
Can I rid myself of my existential sin?

Wonderful things may happen. Amazed I’ll not be
Though it goes against habit. Some work it does take
To where I am expectant of things working out
To my general favor. The presence of doubt
Is a cumbersome killjoy that leads to heartache.
All that I have been asking for will come to be.

Oneness Is Equal To Three Whole Halves

Mathematics Of Earth And Spirit

There’s a new app called bUttFuck. If life gets you down,
You can swipe, then bend over to get a lot more
Of what you’ve managed so far without any help.
When the downstroke is hard, there’s a strong healthy yelp
Bellowing through the being and out every pore.
There’s no difference between the smile and the frown.

 Life can be enigmatic if I make it so.
Like the weather in Wichita which is wanting,
It and I can be added to, multiplied by,
Or divided by consciousness if I apply
The least bit of excitement besides my writing
For the wonder of being a part of the flow.

Whole halves are what is needed in mathematics
Of the mental, spiritual, and physical.
Halves that are not whole, whorelike, will sell oneself short.
Body, mind, and spirit need provident support
From that which they’re a part of. Can this rationale
Get me through the next moment without using tricks?

Yes, it can. I can prove it to myself alone
Or through those who can feel me through the collective
Consciousness of humanity. Is it my choice
To reach out or keep silent my peculiar voice?
For a life that is peaceful, I’m willing to give
Whatever it may take, though I’d have to be shown.

Let It Go

No Illusion Can Help You

I feel beside myself, yet there is a big hand
That has me by the consciousness. I know not where
Or when it will release me. I wait for the fall
Of my house-of-cards being. The worst of it all
Is that I can’t stop ongoing thoughts of despair
I have no sense of knowing how my life is planned.

I have managed to activate a vibration
Of somethings that I really don’t want in my life,
It seems that as I struggle things only get worse.
Is there reason to think that my life is a curse?
I can’t stop the momentum of personal strife.
Evidence of improvement appears to be none.

Sloppily, my vibration is scattered about
Discipline there’s a lack of in how I offer
To the universe what I believe can come true.
Anything that involves struggle I need not do.
When I do things I don’t want damage can occur
May the spirit who guides me relieve me of doubt.

The big hand of my consciousness of how things are
Can let go of my big self that feels rather small.
Letting Go is my guidance to trust the process.
What’s available to me is instant access
To the wealth of wellbeing that’s here for us all.
The solution to issues in life isn’t far.

Fresh Advice For The Times

Cooperative Forces

Tough as nails is the business of staying alive
In a world that keeps changing, for better or worse.
At this point in time, the fate of humanity,
Operating from instinct still, brash and beastly,
May see its own extinction. Its self-contained curse
Focuses on the frictions that we all contrive.

Friction is but a blessing seen in its pure light.
Resistance is required for our survival,
For without it, too much ease in life will occur.
Opposition dealt with yields the growth we prefer.
Without fear we must welcome its kind arrival.
Seeing things in a new way makes living alright.

Knowing why there’s a problem with myself is key
To better understanding of what I create.
If I know not what ails me I cannot move past
The unknown thing that festers perversely steadfast.
I’m aware that my world is of evil and hate.
It must be a sight issue. That’s how I must see.

Loving myself I always will, even through hell.
I’ll believe I’m in heaven and up the ante
Loving myself so damned much that nothing matters.
Once I reach that awareness I can love others
Without needing theirs back. It can surely free me
From chronic people pleasing. For now, I am well.

Love Is Enough

What Keeps Earth In Its Orbit

As the birth of the ego in real time is known
By the saving of daylight, no more do I need
To spring forward in righteousness. Love Is Enough
To free me from a state where I sweat the small stuff…
Like this world with its darkness and malice of deed.
The woods whine as the wane, yet few wicked atone.

All the while, it’s intriguing. The shadowy hills
Hide a beauty unrecognized without the stroll
Along paths made pursuable by pure desire.
Love can all on its own get forces to conspire
Orchestrated excitement. My feeling more whole
Is itself more important than learning earth skills.

 Wet and low hanging laundry – this world and its hate –
Puts its weight on the clothesline thus pulling it down
To the mud pool below it. Love launders alone
In the heart that is steadied by all it’s been shown
By celestial theatrics performed in the round.
Love at least has the good sense to let me create…

…And create I do freely. By now it’s a breeze.
Frustrating, negative, and too often too hard,
This void’s also fulfilling. The love that I share
Is the best way to offer the cross that I bear.
Will love ever allow me to let down my guard?
Effort is sometimes needed for feeling at ease.