Tag Archive | heartbreak

Tonight I Can Write The Saddest Lines

Aug28

Heartbroken

The night is immense but of a different kind
Of expansion that makes of my soul a vacuum.
Once the night was of splendor. It can be no more.
I could write about the way my life was before,
But tonight I’m content in expressing my gloom.
If I’m paralyzed fully, no peace shall I find.

The night is starry and the stars are blue, and they
Shiver in the distance. The detergent night wind
Revolves in the sky singing. I did love her so
And sometimes she loved me too. I suffer the woe
Of not knowing in what manner that I have sinned.
Loneliness is the bitter price she’d have me pay.

Through the nights like this one I held her in my arms.
I kissed her profusely under the endless sky.
How could one not have loved her great still eyes? To think
That I do not have her pushes me past the brink
Of feeling that I’ve lost her. Need I wonder why
I no longer partake of her feminine charms?

My soul is not satisfied that it has lost her.
Love is so short. Forgetting is fretfully long.
Another’s she will be as she was before my
Adoration. My senses continue to try
To perceive her. I hear in the distance a song,
But I can’t make the music make things as they were.

Life Or Death

Jun1

Choice Or Sentance

It’s a matter of being – or not being here.
In one tenth of an instant all life could be gone.
Then what happens thereafter? Don’t go there so fast.
Though the grips of electrons at best only last
But a non-fatal flailing… do curse the new dawn.
Obstacles are withstanding. I can’t disappear.

Fascination I’m left with – it’s all that remains –
For the movement of particles… or anything
Well accustomed to light speed. I live for the spark
That gives honor to contrast between light and dark.
Only when it gets awful, destructive thinking
Leaves me languidly livid – the worst of all pains.

Living just for this moment, relief I do find.
Distraction from rejection is re-translation
Of the latter to loveliness, but at a cost
To the hurtful part of me who is rather lost
In this world become nasty beyond all reason.
Can creatures like electrons be known to be kind?

 If ever the thereafter consumes my yearning
For the pain to be over, the present is one
That cannot be mistaken for past rotten deeds
Perpetrated in darkness for my selfish needs.
That I get to remain here, true justice is done.
On no thin thread of mercy I’m willing to cling.

Joint And Final Affairs

May2

Preponderant Emotional Encounter

Beginnings are like endings in so many ways
That they often are seamless. Sometimes we can’t tell
What they are or they are not so we are resigned
To accepting whatever our lost hope can find.
If it’s found in a place that competes with Bethel
Then it’s wise to prepare for this time’s final phase.

It’s not always a heartbreak. Sometimes there’s relief
From all feeling and thought for at least an eon.
Parting is no sweet sorrow. It has not a taste
Nor an alternate function but expelling waste.
When there’s peace in the parting, the prickle is gone.
So when looked at that way, one’s made out like a thief.

All affairs become final. Some blossom through age.
Others last for an instant to then pass away
To subconscious oblivion. Why are we here?
It has so much to do with how we handle fear.
There will be much rejoicing on that final day.
Until then, there’s this journey that I must engage.