Tag Archive | frustration

I’m Sick Of My Life

A Severely Depressive Episode

I’m so sick of my life. I am forty years old.
I am single. I make less than minimum wage,
And I live with my mother. I have not a clue
As to what on God’s green earth I’m able to do.
It’s not wise, but I find myself prone to engage
In self-pity. My displeasure I’ll not withhold.

Where am I on the standard emotional scale?
Somewhere south of frustration but not quite despair?
It feels mostly like anger. If I reach for blame,
Will I feel some relief, or will I feel the same?
My emotional journey is taken with care
Blame feels better than anger, so I will prevail.

The economy sucks, therefore, I remain stuck
In a huge rut without any room to advance.
Had I been guided differently as a child,
Then much better prepared I’d have been for this wild
World of infinite contrast. I don’t have a chance
Due to circumstance. I remain straight out of luck.

Now, that feels a lot better. I have shifted my
Vibration just a little. A different place
I’m now in. Opportunities are within reach
That were not a short while ago, and within each
Journey of feeling taken, there can be found grace.
There’s so much to gain as I give this thing a try.

Transcendence Through Stillness

The Reflection Of Calm

How do I learn to transcend the limited me
…The conditional entity? How do I know
What is silence and stillness? What has this to do
With the person I am and what I’m going through?
What does it mean to be ‘still?’ How can someone grow
Without moving? Can this fettered self be made free?

Like most words, ‘stillness’ is but a starting off place
For describing what can’t be described easily.
Everyone has their own experience of it.
Meditation is the perfect thing to permit
It to happen. What’s called my personality
Is dissolved in the process of receiving grace.

If I haven’t found the stillness, no matter how
Well I do in life, it will turn into something
Unfulfilling, even if the world praises me.
Free from erratic motion I most want to be.
It is the cause of most of human suffering.
The stillness is available to me right now.

I like pleasant conditions and circumstances.
By the same token, bad situations cause me
Much discomfort, but if I can find the stillness
In the moment, I know that I will suffer less
Than I would if I can’t. Stillness I clearly see
As the alternative to my taking chances.

Focus On The Why

The Most Powerful Question

Things should sometimes go my way. I feel left behind
By forces of creation. I want there to be
Evidence here and now that wanting is alright.
I know that it will never be if I’m uptight
As an unwanted consequence. What fulfills me
Is when things manifest. That is my frame of mind.

I run into frustration when I think of where
It will come from or how or when things will take place.
These are questions I can’t answer, so it is wise
To desist with such thinking that will compromise
My sense of worthiness of universal grace.
I know that it is not good if I linger there.

My thoughts are too specific regarding this thing.
What’s the vibrational underlying reason
Why I want what I want? It’s because I will feel
Good in having it. Such a feeling is ideal.
I’d love to radiate goodness to everyone.
Thoughts like these I find healthy and stimulating.

It is good that I think about it otherwise.
Others seem to be happy in doing the same.
I know that it will come. I am the creator
Of my reality. Whatever I ask for
Will happen. It is my power that I proclaim.
It is good that I keep focusing on the prize.

The Road To Excellence

The Rewards Of Blissful Effort

First of all, it’s a journey, and that is profound.
I will never be best at the work that I do.
It means not satisfaction or complacency
With a job with which my true self doesn’t agree
But a free burst of spirit that connects me to
The appropriate forces that are all around.

I’ll commit myself to becoming excellent.
It is in the commitment that my path is made
And the path is significant more than the goal
I will not see its culmination ‘til my soul
Takes its leave from this earth realm. I’ll not be dismayed
By the ills of my being perversely content.

Excellence is a journey that I can test out.
How many times do I fee productive and whole
Through the day
is the question. The answer can guide

Me to just the right hookup. I can’t be denied
What I need to survive if there’s bliss in my soul.
What I have backing me is universal clout.

If I’m not feeling feedback from the world at large
Then the universe is telling me something clear.
If I don’t love my work enough to want to be
The best at it, then I should drop it completely.
There are certain standards to which I must adhere.
The first step in the whole process is to take charge.

Relief

Ascending The Emotional Ladder

In releasing resistance I find true relief.
I must know that this feeling is better by far
Than a hell ever present. The sorrow and pain
That I have caused for others because I’m insane
Now congest the insides of me and leave a scar
On my sense of direction. I am my own thief.

The emotional ladder is what I must climb.
From the bottom abysmal with deepest despair,
The next rung is anger. I need someone to blame.
It’s a much better feeling wherein I reclaim
Some power that I’d lost by not being aware
That there is such a spectrum. It’s here all the time.

Moving up the emotional scale is to feel
My way to satisfaction, and from there, onward
To the freedom and peace that I ask strongly for.
There is only momentum toward that and more.
The resistance I nurture cannot be ignored.
I can only release it in order to heal.

Nowhere near to the top do I find myself now.
Although I feel relief, no vibrational match
Does it make to fulfillment of ultimate dreams.
The increase in momentum between the extremes
Of emotion I’m able to use to detach
From what’s wrong with my present then learn to allow.

Let It Go

No Illusion Can Help You

I feel beside myself, yet there is a big hand
That has me by the consciousness. I know not where
Or when it will release me. I wait for the fall
Of my house-of-cards being. The worst of it all
Is that I can’t stop ongoing thoughts of despair
I have no sense of knowing how my life is planned.

I have managed to activate a vibration
Of somethings that I really don’t want in my life,
It seems that as I struggle things only get worse.
Is there reason to think that my life is a curse?
I can’t stop the momentum of personal strife.
Evidence of improvement appears to be none.

Sloppily, my vibration is scattered about
Discipline there’s a lack of in how I offer
To the universe what I believe can come true.
Anything that involves struggle I need not do.
When I do things I don’t want damage can occur
May the spirit who guides me relieve me of doubt.

The big hand of my consciousness of how things are
Can let go of my big self that feels rather small.
Letting Go is my guidance to trust the process.
What’s available to me is instant access
To the wealth of wellbeing that’s here for us all.
The solution to issues in life isn’t far.