Tag Archive | awakening

A Spoonful Of Contrition

A Most Selfish Act

I must know that I’m worthy although I’ve done wrong.
For my soul, I seek justice, but I must live on
So that I suffer vividly in solitude.
All who own me know they have the right to intrude
Upon my conscience all through the night until dawn.
My regret become karmic is where I belong.

All must seek retribution for what I have done.
As my life caves in on me, all that I should know
Is that some small redemption exists for this soul.
I don’t ask that the balance of my life be whole
But allow me the substance to pay what I owe
Otherwise, my existence is much worse than none.

But I can’t get there from here. I know for a fact
That I must have the feeling before conditions
Start to manifest for me. My sorrow blocks it.
How do I balance karma if I’m poorly fit
To function as a human among sacred ones
Who provide my life lessons with relative tact?

Universe, please connect me to all I deserve.
I have no fear in asking; just guide me somehow.
With my head hung in sorrow, intense is my shame.
I hate that I have no one but myself to blame.
Can the Law Of Attraction still let me allow?
Or am I just a screwed one with colossal nerve?

Though I can be facetious in this agony
The damned knot in the stomach is losing its voice.
If it’s silenced completely, is my life ended?
Or will I find relief from existential dread?
Seeing myself as worthy is my only choice.
I cannot turn by back on deciding to be.

Racing Thoughts

Formula 1 Brain

So one after the other, they leapfrog around
And create their own business that can’t be resolved
By themselves nor known others. Their quest is futile.
In their race for more heartache each painstaking while,
They prevent me from being more spirit evolved.
What they come up with isn’t at all that profound.

Keeping me wide awake at nights, they have control
Of my very existence. I need to detach
From the process that isn’t a real part of me.
Knowing that it is not me allows me to see
What it is that would be but a more fitting match.
I know that which I don’t want and what makes me whole.

Panic thinking is useless. It serves no purpose.
From that powerful standpoint I’m able to choose
Something else to focus on as hard it may be.
I may regain some control eventually.
It seems to be a gamble. There is much to loose
Because if I do nothing, further I’ll regress.

Then there’s always the body – the final frontier.
Since I know thinking sucks now, I know my breathing
Will provide a diversion and needed relief.
When caught up in a problem, relaxing is chief.
A small pocket of comfort this small act will bring.
Issues still will exist, but stress will disappear.

Loving Kindness

A Last Glimmer Of Hope

Is there one supreme consciousness who knows all things
And lives throughout eternity in a fine place
Among worshiping angels and folks who were good
While engaging their brief duty of humanhood
On one odd speck of stardust deficient of grace?
That sounds God awful human as e’er the dick swings.

Consciousness is at issue. What atheists know
Or don’t know is precisely defined with logic
That would rival most Vulcans. Their minds are focused
On the tangible evidence. Science they trust
Over mere intuition, thinking it’s a trick
To distort their reality and cause them woe.

That’s why faith is a mystery. Others include
Life and death and the changing of blood into wine.
No one knows what will happen for sure when we die.
Anything conjured up then is worth a good try
As a viable framework with which to align.
The ego wants its virtuousness to exude.

Cultivation of virtue just makes common sense,
But it’s hard to attain such and stay there for long
Due to traits that aren’t virtuous, but that’s ok.
Cultivating Presence is the natural way
To disburse Loving Kindness. Not much can go wrong.
Communion with oneself is most proper defense.

Before The Mind Rushes In

Peaceful Prelude To Illusion

The First Moments of noticing anything new
Flash within, yet, unnoticed, they then fade away.
Just as quickly, the ego mind wants to rush in
Because it needs to know things so it can begin
To adopt a conception. That is its forte.
Now, well shrouded, these first moments one cannot view.

If one is a professional, use of the mind
Is of immense importance throughout the workday.
If relied on completely though, one may become
Cold to others because the feelings have grown numb.
Circumvent well one can this and still not betray
All the skill and experience which is defined.

The paths of the spiritual healers are such
That their minds are no issue. They have them controlled
So that they reach the person and not the symptom…
Nor a patient or client. The healing comes from
Their connection with spirit. The power they hold
Is one most universal. We all are in touch.

Many times we’re not thinking. The moment we see
Something new, for a brief while, we take it all in.
There’s that space unattended and free of judgement.
Being more conscious of this awareness event
Intertwined with the ego is where to begin
Deepening of the person who I’m meant to be.

On Transforming The Tough Spot

Transforming the Bad Situation

Lessons learned by children who have gone through the worst
One could ever imagine are wisdom for all.
With our lives, our comparisons, uselessly made
To the wrong kinds of people may leave us betrayed
By ourselves through the process. The ones who are small
And erupting with life know not that they are cursed.

In the mid nineteen thirties, the plight of the Jews
That we know as the holocaust, was never known
By a brother and sister – the girl aged thirteen
And the boy, about eight years. Hate would intervene
In their healthy development. Left on their own
At the fate of the Nazis, they’d no right to choose.

Family Separation does damage untold
And creates special karma for those who do wrong.
This level of malevolent behavior brings
Upon its perpetrators appropriate things.
Thankfully, by God’s nature, most children are strong.
Fun and joy are their essence when they’re not controlled.

Taken from wealth and comfort to life in duress,
The young boy did adapt well. A toll it did take
On the teen and with hormones of adolescence.
Just because the boy lost something, she took offense
And belittled her brother who was a headache.
Her truest discontentment she could not repress.

They were then separated. This turn of events
Sent her off to a death camp where she did not die
But was worked to death daily for more than four years.
As the only survivor, she shed many tears
For the loss of her family. And this is why
She avowed to recover from guilt that torments.

She was harsh with her brother. He now was no more.
She regretted those last things she’d said in anger.
She committed to saying only a kind word
To all she may encounter, for it is preferred
Since we know not if this is the last encounter.
Her life blossomed because she found the open door.

The Process Of Awakening

The Emergence Of Consciousness

Falling back into old patterns is not to err,
For it’s part of The Process Of Awakening
To awareness transcendent and truly sublime.
I’m aware of the negative things of this time,
But to see far beyond it I’d do anything.
Sometimes processes take time. I’ll find it to spare.

It can come on spontaneously like a blast –
A volcanic eruption from pressure intense –
Or a gradual sputter, infrequent yet sure
As it burns away ego which does but obscure
The bright light of the true self – the one that makes sense
No matter what is happening in life’s contrast.

There are two views divergent. One is: Do Nothing.
Natural is the process awareness fulfills

At its own pace without interfering at all.
The other is: Do Something, but answer the call
With spiritual action, the kind that instills
Faithfulness through the process. Much good this will bring.

Therein lies the best setpoint. The blend of the two
Means that life force within me propels my intent
To engage in spiritual practices that
Are quite easy to do once I know the format.
Such hard work is a pleasure and is time well spent.
What has been and is happening has much value.

On The Cusp Of Ides Fear

Panorama Of Perfection

The ongoing transition from darkness to light
Is sustained by refreshings of blessings and more
Than my conscious awareness can ever recall.
My desires over lifetimes, some big and some small,
Form an energy vortex of all I’ve asked for.
Memory can’t keep track of all things that excite.

Knowing then what I’m wanting, I’m quite far along
In the creative process. What had to have come
Before wanting is feeling contrast and the need
For a worthy solution. The will to succeed
I dare keep to myself lest my spirit succumb
To destructive opinions that may be flat wrong.

The two basic vibrations, belief and desire,
Operate but rarely at the same frequency.
When they don’t, discontentment is all I can feel,
But when they’re in alignment, my dreams become real.
I am born to create my own reality –
Not to face someone else’s. Now, that would be dyer.

To become an Inventor is to be aware
That intentions are mothers that love to give birth
To gestating desires brought about through some pain.
My mood is most important. Therein I may gain
Access to things I’ve wanted since being on earth.
Thankfully, this is not all that urgent to share.