Archive | April 2021

Control

An Evasive Illusion

I control not my thoughts nor the ways that I feel.
In a real sense I am them. To give up control
Is to have it completely. If I were to try
To gain absolute power by force I apply,
It will only disturb things, which isn’t my goal.
I must trust what the universe has to reveal.

Like a good friend this universe can be to me.
Trusting it like a person who knows me quite well,
I can give up the struggle of lying awake
Fretting over control of things. What A Headache!
But the friend who’s much bigger can banish the spell
 If my faith in this kind one is of high degree.

Universes are bodies. Cells know who they are
And have things delegated at every level.
If I can but allow them to do their damned work,
Then perhaps they would think that I’m not such a jerk
Having tried to control them. I’ve put them through hell.
My relationship with them is not up to par.

That which flows to all things and does nourish them all –
Both the left and the right and all manner between –
Lords not over creation nor seeks any claim
Of merit for accomplishments. All is the same
To the friend universal who surely has seen
Every bit of creation. I am not so small.

Purpose

What To Do About Being

Logic lashes through meaning. The human in me
Knows too much to ignore not the way that things are.
This star system is but a mere speck in deep space.
Planet earth is a micro speck cursed by our race.
New York City, a super micro spec, is far
Off the scale of significance, actually.

So, the source of creation may not even know
Of this speck of a system of which I’m a part.
If it ceased to exist in the blink of an eye,
Would it fail to take notice? I too much rely
On some force not within me to enter my heart.
Arrogance hinders me from just letting it go.

There’s no God given purpose for me to be here.
That all comes by conditioning. Humans perceive
Themselves as having purpose, but insensitive
We are to other species that are here to live
As we do – without discord. The web that we weave
Is of total entrapment in unconscious fear.

I Exist. That’s sufficient for me here and now.
My believing in something is not worth the pain
Of expecting good service from nature because
I’m the most worthy species. It gets no applause
From the source of creation. Why seek, but in vain,
What my purpose in life is? I can but allow.

The Futility Of Force

Flowing With What Goes

It’s a strange world we live in. As part of the Tao,
And composed of relationships complex and deep,
This cosmos is abundant. Perpetual change
Is its way of expressing. It will rearrange
That which needs evolution. It loses no sleep
Over what one may think. To no one does it bow.

In the system of Huawei, nature is the guide.
Existence is totality. All is one whole.
In accordance with nature one always should act.
Force will only disturb things. It has an impact
On one’s karma in this life. It darkens the soul.
It is better to do nothing and step aside.

Don’t impose interference. The pattern of things
That exists is dynamic and always in flow.
Some may look just like conflict, but actually,
They are interdependent, and they need to be.
The survival of each, neither colleague nor foe,
Is the Tao’s only purpose. It flies without wings.

It is hard to do nothing. By force of habit,
And the mind with its ego’s most arrogant ways,
I’ll unconsciously mess with things to get results.
But the Tao doesn’t chide me with vicious insults
In the form of bad outcomes and certain malaise
If indeed I remember to take note of it.

Before The Mind Rushes In

Peaceful Prelude To Illusion

The First Moments of noticing anything new
Flash within, yet, unnoticed, they then fade away.
Just as quickly, the ego mind wants to rush in
Because it needs to know things so it can begin
To adopt a conception. That is its forte.
Now, well shrouded, these first moments one cannot view.

If one is a professional, use of the mind
Is of immense importance throughout the workday.
If relied on completely though, one may become
Cold to others because the feelings have grown numb.
Circumvent well one can this and still not betray
All the skill and experience which is defined.

The paths of the spiritual healers are such
That their minds are no issue. They have them controlled
So that they reach the person and not the symptom…
Nor a patient or client. The healing comes from
Their connection with spirit. The power they hold
Is one most universal. We all are in touch.

Many times we’re not thinking. The moment we see
Something new, for a brief while, we take it all in.
There’s that space unattended and free of judgement.
Being more conscious of this awareness event
Intertwined with the ego is where to begin
Deepening of the person who I’m meant to be.

On Transforming The Tough Spot

Transforming the Bad Situation

Lessons learned by children who have gone through the worst
One could ever imagine are wisdom for all.
With our lives, our comparisons, uselessly made
To the wrong kinds of people may leave us betrayed
By ourselves through the process. The ones who are small
And erupting with life know not that they are cursed.

In the mid nineteen thirties, the plight of the Jews
That we know as the holocaust, was never known
By a brother and sister – the girl aged thirteen
And the boy, about eight years. Hate would intervene
In their healthy development. Left on their own
At the fate of the Nazis, they’d no right to choose.

Family Separation does damage untold
And creates special karma for those who do wrong.
This level of malevolent behavior brings
Upon its perpetrators appropriate things.
Thankfully, by God’s nature, most children are strong.
Fun and joy are their essence when they’re not controlled.

Taken from wealth and comfort to life in duress,
The young boy did adapt well. A toll it did take
On the teen and with hormones of adolescence.
Just because the boy lost something, she took offense
And belittled her brother who was a headache.
Her truest discontentment she could not repress.

They were then separated. This turn of events
Sent her off to a death camp where she did not die
But was worked to death daily for more than four years.
As the only survivor, she shed many tears
For the loss of her family. And this is why
She avowed to recover from guilt that torments.

She was harsh with her brother. He now was no more.
She regretted those last things she’d said in anger.
She committed to saying only a kind word
To all she may encounter, for it is preferred
Since we know not if this is the last encounter.
Her life blossomed because she found the open door.

The Hidden Truth About Politics

We The People Are Blind

Black and White it boils down to… The splitting of hairs
With complex interaction is the only way
To address governmental issues as they come.
It is hard to come up with the best rule of thumb.
Everyone has their duty and role they must play
In the health of the nation’s domestic affairs.

Personalities differ in so many ways
That it’s hard for mere humans to sort it all out.
So people by the thousands were asked to answer
Many hundreds of questions by a computer.
It came up with a model to mitigate doubt
About human behavior that’s worthy of praise.

A Table Periodic for how we behave,
This enlightening Personality Model
Created thirty years ago is what’s behind
Evolution of politics. Two frames of mind
Interact but with tension. They often repel
Each other when solution is what each should crave.

Liberals are holistic. They’re entrepreneurs –
Creative innovators of freedom and flow
Across borders and mindsets. Conservatives are
Conscientious, pragmatic, and not so bizarre
As to stray too dangerously from what they know.
Discussion is the only solution that cures.

That solution’s not easy, as history shows.
But it’s not like we have a choice. Our survival
Depends on evolution as one human race.
No one way is the rightest way in every case.
Each has its unique value to benefit all.
Interdependence is how a good nation grows.

Keeping Tradition Alive

An Effort Of Endurance

Cost of Being increases are not to be paid
To traditional artisans of India.
Expensive raw materials increase in price.
They’re lucky to break even, yet they sacrifice
Time and effort preserving ancient media.
Artifacts from this fort town are craftily made.

Molten metals are used and lots of chiseling.
The process calls for patience, for months it can take
To produce just one item. Focus and detail
Are the skills necessary. All at their avail
Are quaint tools and equipment, and for culture’s sake,
They offer to the world an aesthetic wellspring.

Melted pieces of copper and zinc fill the mold
That is packed using body weight with dirt and sand.
After buffing and polishing, bathing is done
In a sulfate solution. Each and every one
Has a signature color. They then etch by hand
Captivating designs for the world to behold.

  Wire is tapped into carved grooves. The rare soil they use
Comes only from the city of Bali. Therefore,
There’s a special uniqueness to art from this place.
Gig economies prosper but at a slow pace
In these times become urgent with unending war.
What can help such a market that’s destined to lose?

So… Live Your Life

There's No Alternative To Living

Who whispers the answers to what I haven’t asked,
Knowing that I seek guidance along my own way?
If my way is my own, should I not be the one
To reply to my questions? In doubt I must shun
Solutions I come up with each and every day.
I know not what I’m doing. This is my forecast.

“Live your life so that fear of death never enters
Your brave heart or your spirit. Live and beautify
All the things in your life. Respect all whom you meet.
Love your life. Be of service. Ignore the drumbeat
That is harsh and discordant, and never deny
Your alignment with your truth, as spirit prefers.

Find your joy and be grateful for all that you’ve got.
Gratitude is the attitude worthy of grace
To help you get through tough times with relative ease.
Grovel not to another as if their feces
Is of glorified essence. Self-pride do embrace.
If you cannot feel grateful, you suffer a lot.

You will sing like a hero your going home song
And not long for more time to relive what has passed
In a different way. The regretful one weeps
For the loss of the dying self. The wise one keeps
In the heart memories of well-challenged contrast.
Know that life is a blessing that doesn’t last long.”

The Future Post Virus

Toward A Newer Normal

Microorganisms other than us are we,
And few cells truly are ours. The process of birth
Blesses newborns with bacteria and good germs.
They add to the new person, in most certain terms,
Symbiotic survival while here on this earth.
This relationship satisfies both completely.

Until death do us part, my acquired cells and those
Of my own are the dynamic duo that keeps
Me alive and performing at my very best.
I feel certain imbalance whenever I’m stressed.
It is best that I honor these feeling receipts.
Surely if I ignored them I would welcome woes.

We’ve been in a pandemic. There isn’t a soul
Who knows not this true fact due to technology.
So, it does get inflated, and more of us die.
Yet it’s of grave importance. We cannot deny
Proper communication. Eventually
An effective solution helps us reach our goal.

But vaccines are like old jokes to sharp viruses.
One word changed in the punchline will make them mutate.
Earth has formed neural networks. All life plays a part.
When the brain of the planet discovers its heart,
Dysbiosis will cease, then nature can create
Maximum diversity to cure weaknesses.

Our Time Is Limited

The Swirl Of Eternity

Mother nature gives birth to death, and life renews.
That’s the way it has been since it all came to be
Beheld within the consciousness of humankind
…Surely eons before that if one keeps in mind
That forever is something that humans can’t see.
Death is life’s invention. No one does it excuse.

If I live each day if it were to be my last,
Someday certainly I’ll be correct. But would I
Want to do things I’d planned on when I didn’t know
I’d have one day to do them? Perhaps I’d forego
Most for the most important so that when I die
I won’t leave a big mess by my living half-assed.

I’ll do well to remember my mortality.
Knowing that I’ll be dead someday is a great tool
To help me make big choices in life that remains
By the will of whatever existence maintains
To support constant change. Though up close it looks cruel,
From the spirit’s perspective, there’s much more to see.

 I am already naked. I’ve nothing to lose
So there’s no good reason to not follow my heart.
Death is life’s special agent. It moves me along
So that I am prepared for a richer swan song.
I must not live for others nor be torn apart
By entrapment in dogma and death-wishing views.

Justice

...The Most Bitter of Sweetness

Bittersweetness befitting the freedom to be
Jubilant through the damage one person has done
Is the kind that may change ways that make life better
Among we the united. Events that occur
Of aberrant behavior exposed to the sun
Now gain worldwide attention immediately.

Big brother may be watching, but we see as well
By the same social means that reflect how we feel
About life and the right to breathe freely each day.
All the world knows some people are treated this way
And it’s not from a textbook. Indeed, it’s for real.
No matter who one is, one can sense a bad smell.

Tempered anticipation of verdict unknown
Draws a knot to the stomach. Expecting the worse,
Due to current and past acts of racial bloodshed,
What to think of a next step? A feeling of dread
Grips the soul at its core, and it acts like a curse
Self-inflicted and chilling right down to the bone.

Finally there’s rejoicing and dancing in streets
For our faith in true justice has not let us down.
Take not my breath for granted nor snuff it away.
History shall record this a pivotal day
For all people – especially black ones and brown.
Evil must suffer challenges and swift defeats.

Instant Gratification

Accelerated Manifestation

I would start with “I Am!” This true statement affirms
That I am fully conscious and worldly aware.
Things happen instantaneously nowadays.
This trend accelerates as we find faster ways
To live out our mortality. It’s become rare
That the growth of a process is seen on its terms.

We are thoroughly programmed to want things done fast.
There’s no two ways about it. If we have to wait,
We’re uptight and insulted. We may go berserk.
Keeping customers satisfied takes lots of work
So they continue improving how they create
And deliver in timeliness that’s unsurpassed.

To oneself this phenomenon can be applied.
I can want something right now then give it some force
Of my conscious attention, and feel the feeling…
Knowing and believing that it is a sure thing –
Like tomorrow’s sunrise, and the infinite source
Of all life on the planet with which I’m allied.

I Am Certain that, in time, things I want fulfilled
Will occur as I will them if I write them down
In clear and concise statements most regularly,
Then, focus on the feeling rather intently,
What is already manifest will be unbound
To the patient, unfettered self who must be thrilled.

The Process Of Awakening

The Emergence Of Consciousness

Falling back into old patterns is not to err,
For it’s part of The Process Of Awakening
To awareness transcendent and truly sublime.
I’m aware of the negative things of this time,
But to see far beyond it I’d do anything.
Sometimes processes take time. I’ll find it to spare.

It can come on spontaneously like a blast –
A volcanic eruption from pressure intense –
Or a gradual sputter, infrequent yet sure
As it burns away ego which does but obscure
The bright light of the true self – the one that makes sense
No matter what is happening in life’s contrast.

There are two views divergent. One is: Do Nothing.
Natural is the process awareness fulfills

At its own pace without interfering at all.
The other is: Do Something, but answer the call
With spiritual action, the kind that instills
Faithfulness through the process. Much good this will bring.

Therein lies the best setpoint. The blend of the two
Means that life force within me propels my intent
To engage in spiritual practices that
Are quite easy to do once I know the format.
Such hard work is a pleasure and is time well spent.
What has been and is happening has much value.

You’re About To Ride The Lightnin’, Son…

The Good Old Days

“White Lightnin’ … White Lightnin’ … We’re in red hot pursuit.
We got one in escape mode… We need some support!”
This one’s awfully dangerous with his sharp tongue

But this black nigger bee is about to get stung
By the wasp of enforcement. His life we’ll cut short
If he so much as whimpers. Our thrill is To Shoot!

Up against the wall, nigger, with hands clearly seen.
Take your shoes off and tap dance on hot asphalt roads.
Lick my boots and then give them an excellent shine.
Since that’s one of your best talents why do you whine?
We take much pride and pleasure in hunt episodes
Where the prey are so many and already mean.

Lightnin’ strikes every day, son. This fine one is yours.
And for me it’s an excuse to let off some steam.
Family life frustrations and issues at work
Punctuate my history, so I Am A Jerk
And so fucking proud of it that often I dream

Of a nation of assholes and bloody race wars.

Oh, did we make a faux pas in being so rude…
Pepper spraying your dog and you and needlessly?
Well, that’s life on the lightnin’ bolt. What will you do?
 To the false right we claim, you’ve the real right to sue.
We’re still back in the forties as far as I see.
This one hell of a negative triggers my mood.

White America First KK Kaucus

The Call To Exterminate

How does one describe hatred ingrained in the soul
Against others too different? It puzzles me
After decades of civil rights. Am I naïve
In my third second childhood? I want to believe
That this nation adores me and that I will be
Treated just as all others. I should play that role.

But the hatred is overt… so up in my face
About pride in their country and how they’ve been wronged.
The dank cauldron of congress contains a sick brew
For weak minds to soak up. What it all boils down to
Is their right to hunt niggers. The fight is prolonged.
The incitement to violence is due to race.

White-hooded Christianity curses this land
Where I was born and raised and would claim as my own
Just as others here like me in every which way.
But to think that I’m loved here is just self-dismay.
Why I’m hated so damned much may never be known.
In the next realm perhaps I can then understand.

But you have no right to send me there at your will.
Your instinct to exterminate isn’t the kind
That humanity thrives on. The reverse is true.
Christ lived not among white folk. Take that as a clue.
Mixing crap with reality fucks with the mind.
You throw tantrums because you’re not able to kill.

New Realities

Brighter Horizons

Things I don’t like are priceless. Their value to me
Is both great and expanding to more clarity.
My desires, by my living, are magnetic waves
That the universe picks up. Each wave then behaves
As solution phase shifted so that easily
Doors to bright New Realities I clearly see.

What I see as a nightmare is just the inverse
Of how I would prefer things. It’s the negative
Of the same image glorified. That does exist.
So this means every time that I get really pissed
Waves are transmitted telling how I’d like to live…
But to dwell on the negative is a strong curse.

What I feel as a negative I must let go.
To be focused intently on the solution
I do when it’s not in my conscious awareness
Just by knowing that the universe will address
Every detail of circumstance. My work is done!
I’m a split personality. It’s good to know.

I arrived here from spirit to play out my role
As a flesh and blood human among the contrast
Made available to me and all who partake.
The spirit helps the human to come more awake
To the positive image, brighter and more vast
Than the human can fathom with its mortal soul.

Calibrating desires is just something I do
Every moment I’m living, hence it’s natural
For this strong harmonizer to blend with discord.
But I must break that habit and start moving toward
The direction unfettered by poor rationale.
I owe this to myself now that I have a clue.

Merging Into Awareness

The Eternal Knowing

No thinking is required in this special moment
Made eternal by spacious light of consciousness
Which makes my awareness possible. My thinking
Wouldn’t add anything to it. It is nothing
But a nest of distraction and utter distress.
Yet I can detach from it by being present.

I’m aware of myself and what is around me.
That is all that is needed. Sublime subtlety
Is the nature of this kind of focusing on
Everything without context. From within is drawn
My true self at its purest most powerfully.
Merging Into Awareness does set my soul free.

Sometimes it’s just not possible to shush the mind.
So in such cases I use the body portals,
Like my breath and all my sensory perceptions.
Presence arises from this. From it I get tons
Of relief from the menacing mental canals
That I often get trapped in. I’m quite the behind.

The power itself doesn’t grow. It’s infinite.
Manifestation in me grows as I’m aware.
The more often this communion I do partake
Greater is the chance that I’ll come fully awake.
When life does something to me that doesn’t seem fair
I’ll respond – not react – with power to do right.

The Meaning Of Knowledge

Nurturing Wisdom

The true Meaning Of Knowledge, for thousands of years,
Has evolved with precision in every detail
Of rhetorical acts we perform every day.
It provides us a framework in all that we say.
Brief descriptions of certain terms at your avail
Form this informal treatise of logic frontiers.

There are Beliefs and Knowledge. They are not the same.
Belief is a Propositional Attitude.
True or false it can be, or completely unknown.

Assertions have Truth Value that stands on its own.
Propositions are Assertions, but they include
‘Substance’ for the Assertion that’s easy to name.

Propositional Attitude is mental state
Of the speaker or writer regarding what’s said.
One can be energetic yet quite deceptive.
So some judgement one takes if one is perceptive.
That’s why Justification is the binding thread
Of the fabric of Knowledge. Now don’t that sound great?

Justification is simply good evidence
To support one’s belief as submitted as proof
That the person has true knowledge. Testimony
Is a most common form of proof, definitely.
Those who speak without Knowledge are strange and aloof.
They love hearing themselves speak at others’ expense.

Justified True Belief is what Knowledge became
Until some dude from Germany sixty years back
Turned this definition upside down by proving,
Using off the wall logic, that true it can’t ring.
But we live in the real world where folks don’t know jack.
So the hell if it matters. It’s all just a game.

Fresh Advice For The Times

Cooperative Forces

Tough as nails is the business of staying alive
In a world that keeps changing, for better or worse.
At this point in time, the fate of humanity,
Operating from instinct still, brash and beastly,
May see its own extinction. Its self-contained curse
Focuses on the frictions that we all contrive.

Friction is but a blessing seen in its pure light.
Resistance is required for our survival,
For without it, too much ease in life will occur.
Opposition dealt with yields the growth we prefer.
Without fear we must welcome its kind arrival.
Seeing things in a new way makes living alright.

Knowing why there’s a problem with myself is key
To better understanding of what I create.
If I know not what ails me I cannot move past
The unknown thing that festers perversely steadfast.
I’m aware that my world is of evil and hate.
It must be a sight issue. That’s how I must see.

Loving myself I always will, even through hell.
I’ll believe I’m in heaven and up the ante
Loving myself so damned much that nothing matters.
Once I reach that awareness I can love others
Without needing theirs back. It can surely free me
From chronic people pleasing. For now, I am well.

Exit Methodologies

The Brightest Way

A black man wouldn’t hang himself. That would be like
Jewish ones suicidal wanting to be gassed.
Some will hack at their wrists. Others go by the gun.
When it comes right down to it, to get the job done
So that one doesn’t fuck up, it has to be fast…
Like electrons – not slow as in taking a hike.

My perception of self and all that I perceive…
Indeed everything I know or thought that I did
Dissipates into nothingness. I know but pain.
Logic dictates remaining would be inhumane
To the rest of hell’s residents. Heaven forbid
That I go while unnoticed as I alone grieve.

Some use cigarette burn marks to fuck with their skin.
I mean that in a kind way. I would do the same.
But I’ve fucked with this website for too many years.
It’s not quite as effective. I’ve shed enough tears
Speaking out but not one God Damned person I claim
As a point of connection, much to my chagrin.

A poet I’ll still call myself even as I
In one last burst defiant to stark nothingness
That this world thing and all I know is and always
Has been and will be. How dare that I covet praise!
I’m a drop in a strange bucket and nothing less
Than a weary old nigger just wanting to die.

On Beating The Blues

Endless Cycles Of Gloom

An old man on a job search is death wish engaged
At full throttle straight into the darkness of hell.
Able bodied I am with an excellent mind
But this world doesn’t see that. In essence, it’s blind
To what I have to offer. I’m just a hard sell
To the age of the phone app. Indeed I’m outraged.

But who gives a bat’s dropping among hell’s elite?
Having spent the last few weeks as a prostitute
On the road and in offices for interviews
That upset and degrade me, I’ll not self-abuse
As I sense that’s the intent because they can’t shoot
Me for sport or for pleasure. Still I’m in defeat.

Sent way out to the boondocks through Amazon Flex
With a carload of packages on gravel roads
With no God Damned thing guiding me but a phone app
Then the fucking phone dies. The whole day’s turned to crap
I bent over and puckered for copious loads
Of the dark seed of Satan in virtual sex.

I’d take this as a joke played on me with a smile
And forget like a bad dream what’s happened to me
If I were a lot younger – not old and depressed.
Vows I’ve made to my doctors were not made in jest
But when push comes to shove one would have to agree
That to ask for a breastfeeding isn’t my style.

I cannot be employed, yet Magic I create.
I have many fine talents and education
That I’m still paying off after decades by now.
This life hates my damned guts. This fact I can allow
To solidify suicidal decision.
But for now, I’ve decided to nourish my hate.

Seven Ages Of Consciousness

Seven Stages of Humanity's Growth

Seven cycles of twelve years – a normal lifespan
Corresponding to Jupiter’s solar orbit –
Are the Ages of Consciousness of humankind.
The gas giant’s influence on how we’re designed
Has to do with expansion of human spirit
Through each phase of development. Whose is this plan?

Not that it matters muchly that living takes place
Within provident cycles. The world is a stage.
The first act played upon it is of innocence
And conforming to standards. From this stage is whence
We advance to the ego. With fear we engage
The illusion of crisis in love or disgrace.

Powerful is the next act. Material gain
Through obtaining of assets the young lover sees
As righteously courageous for the family.
One consumes the adventure most voraciously
With community service and actions that please
Everyone in one’s circle through sunshine and rain.

Amplified in our giving, the soldier instinct
Comes acute with the passion of security.
Ego has become socialized and made a tool
For the next stage of judgement and sharp ridicule
Of the system’s mis-workings. The need to be free
Of the full-bodied duty will soon be distinct.

Wisdom is that of old age. The heart of the sage
In weak health with thin body and loose fitting clothes
Has become again childlike, recalling the days
When one had much more relevance and garnered praise.
Helplessly, losing all touch, the consciousness goes
Long before the remainder is swept off the stage.

What Really Matters

The Search For Life's Truest Meaning

Seductive and hypnotic is movement of thought
Through the bowels of the gray matter. Deeply ingrained,
My subconscious assumption that this moment now
Is of lesser importance than the next somehow,
Causes me much frustration, in that I’m constrained
To what is nonexistent. In this web I’m caught.

So I hear people speak of This Moment so much.
It is vital I get what the hell these folk mean.
It ain’t all that damned obvious to the novice
How to find in This Moment some measure of bliss.
It don’t take much pretending before I come clean
With my truest of feelings responsive to touch.

What’s important is already here, I must know,
And not in the next moment which does not exist.
Ever presence is consciousness’ only act.
In the place of no substance nor form, the abstract
Shining essence of my true self cannot be missed.
In all that I’ve become, I’ve the need to let go.

Realizing this truth takes some practice for sure.
Everybody inherits the pattern of mind
That lives outside of right now. So practice it takes.
It requires little effort or psychic headaches
To achieve awareness of the transcendent kind.
What matters in This Moment will ever endure.

When I Have Fear

The Illusion Transcendent

I have fear unbecoming a creature of God
That I still may have many years left to endure
Bloody hell on this wretched earth. My humanness
Is a curse – not a blessing. I know not success
To be worth my pursuing it. Quite insecure
Is the thin thread I dangle from. This life is flawed.

When I fear that my thinking will go on this way
To the point of considering ways to check out…
And when some reassurance that I here belong
Having made life a failure by being so wrong
In relating to rightness does not come about
It’s doubtful I’ll be here by the end of the day.

When my guts choke what feeds them perpetually
And their out of phase rhythm defies natures role…
When complaining to doctors leads to the dead end –
Absolute like a brick wall, deeper I descend
To that dark, choking space. I’m not one to console.
If God would deem it worthy, I would cease to be.

Thought becomes intervention. The things that I’ve tried
And failed at most horrendously are stepping stones.
“You just need to hang in there…” That’s so God Damned trite,
But this prison has strange rules that I cannot fight.
These insults are acceptable to my weak bones.
With my life’s final chapter I am satisfied.

The Meaning Of Life

Fundamental Purpose

If one has but a ‘why’ one can bear any ‘how.’
As suggested by Nietzsche, life is very hard.
Does this mean I am tested in all that I do?
Certainly! There is darkness I must look into
For the purpose of healing whatever is scarred
By neglect of my visiting outside of now.

In the darkest of places, if I can still find
A faint glimmer of something, I’ll know it’s real light.
Life’s malevolence is ineradicable.
The intent and extent is unfathomable.
I need Sustaining Meaning to keep me alright.
If well-armed with some virtue, then I am aligned.

A life instinct is meaning. I need a reason
To get out of bed even on terrible days.
Nobleness in one’s purpose is not optional.
If one has not, then one is most vulnerable
To the clutches of evil and all of its ways.
Clutching on to some purpose, true life is begun.

I’ll get out and do something. It may turn out wrong,
But at least I’ll have learned then correct my mistakes.
My remaining in stasis leads to getting old
And decrepit from laziness. Purpose is gold.
Life is hopelessly woven in fear and heartbreaks.
Pointed in some direction, I am somewhat strong.

Choice

The Right Of Free Will

I don’t know where my hiccup decisions come from.
They’re like guttural spasms. The choking of air
Is the constant anxiety. Thinking things through
Only adds more confusion. Whatever I do,
Worrying about worrying while in despair
Is a blend of psychosis that renders me numb.

In my mind there’s a feedback loop endlessly closed.
Thoughts that speed as if race cars are always the same.
Did I take enough time to consider every
Possible thing I should have and confidently?
In a dither of doubt no relief can I claim.
Choices are not decisions. My truth is exposed.

There are infinite data – too much to take in
For any given situation that occurs.
Deciding on an issue by using the mind
May result in catastrophe for my behind.
Doing just as I please is what this self prefers.
Can there be a solution that won’t mete my sin?

Mystical states of consciousness can be achieved
Where there is a natural lightness of feeling
Difficulty is effortless. Life is a breeze.
I’m not at that place yet, but I feel more at ease.
I’m a cloud not misshapen… a God awful thing
That is badly designed. In that, I am relieved.

The awareness state I’m conditioned to resist.
The repugnant sensation of discord creates
Sensory basis for the ego to appear
To convince me that no state is better than fear.
We are not helpless creatures consumed by our fates.
Intuition is something that can’t be dismissed.

The Real Me

At The Brink Of Awakening

The performance of someone who seems to be me
Is audaciously tricky that it would attempt
To tempt me with the promise of full possession
Of what I have already, yet it has but none
Of the pure essence of me. The ego unkempt
On a world of stage acting has such need to be.

Its craving for acceptance renders it unseen.
If it lets down its armor this may not be true.
Ancient is the fine art that the ego knows well.
Its sole purpose for existing is to compel
Itself and perceived others to perform on cue.
If they don’t then the actor can be rather mean.

What it manifests matters but not a whole lot.
It may take reaching great heights to then realize
That it finds no contentment. So does it matter
That all hopes, dreams, and wishes surely must occur?
Both viewers and projectors are what are the eyes
Running a second story with another plot.

The Great Powerful Wizard Of Oz needs a rest,
As its body and mind grow weary of the act
That it thinks it must maintain to make a big name
Of itself on some world stage. It is not the same
As the one who is nameless. Staying in contact
With that one ensures me that my acting is blessed.

Just Attend To Your Breathing

The Life Affirming Function

A delightful companion is always a plus
In the fine art of ‘breath watching,’ as it is called.
It’s a mechanism of the body, we know.
When we pay more attention to it, we will grow
Both in health and in spirit. We can be enthralled
By this motion magnificent for life and thus.

It is the most practiced form of meditation.
It’s so basic and simple while easy to do
Since we do it most constantly yet not aware
Of this God given process. We give much more care
To our outward appearance, but any guru
Would advise more attention to breathing be done.

A sharpness or a keenness begins to ensue
As perfect becomes practice within a time short.
It’s a process amazing most naturally.
One can only get more conscious and completely
Needless of preparation or others’ support.
An increase in awareness will surely accrue.

The perpetual play of my breath, as I see,
The maker of my body holds with a kind hand.
The taker of my being, the same creator
Whose hand I firmly hold until there is no more,
Has no wish to escape. My most vital demand
Is ongoing fulfillment of wanting to be.

Be Prepared For The Blessing

Always Ready For Goodness

When in need of a blessing it is absolute.
While in tough situations where I see no way
To resolve them my desperation hinders me.
The divine never intended myself to be
So confused and unable to dash the dismay
That the soul in its darkness just cannot transmute.

To prepare for what’s coming, empty I must be
Of myself so that divinity can then fill
Me with itself completely. I’ll get in the way
Of the things that I want. If I could only stay
In a state of receiving not by force of will
Then all things that I’ve wanted are waiting for me.

I must bow in obedience to the divine
Who knows much more than I do with a larger view
Of the image I can’t see quite clearly enough.
What is gigantic for me is pretty small stuff
To one who caused the big bang and nothingness too.
Faith is the firm believing that everything’s fine.

I must learn to be patient while doing my part
Which is maintaining focus and staying aligned
To the guidance I’m given intuitively.
Loaves of bread and fish can multiply easily
With a faith more fantastic and blessing inclined.
Faith is not such a mystery. It’s of the heart.

Accessories To Life

The Information Divide

By the time she’s fifteen all that she will have seen
Is a hundredfold more than what I at that age
Could have ever imagined. She knows everything.
The devices she uses skillfully will bring
Anything that is dreamed of right to center stage
With detailed information upon a touchscreen.

The Big Bang of Technology when it occurred
Made it so the whole world is fully connected
And able to communicate information
Faster than an eyeblink. Our minds are overrun
With crap loads of minutia. We’re constantly fed
By the marvel’s malevolence which is deferred.

I need not blow the whistle. I am an old fart
And the sound would be putrid by nose or by ear.
But I knew not of boredom when I was a child.
Everything did excite me. My spirit was wild.
Children find it difficult to hold something dear
When contact through a smartphone replaces the heart.

Most unprecedented is the current onslaught
Upon this generation, as never before
Have kids lived half their lives through the shortening years.
When all sense of true meaning in life disappears
It may get to the point where one can take no more.
It is urgent to counter such unhealthy thought.

There is something to live for. It’s not family,
My career, thoughts, nor feelings. The drama of these
Are abstracted creations played out in the mind.
To be touched by life is to be blessed by the kind
Gentle knowing within self. The accessories
Of my life consists of all else, as it should be.

Perceiving Without Labels

Appropriate Futility of Scrutiny

It’s so hard not to use labels with or without
Specific information about what’s inside.
Human egos have them, and they place them upon
Anything possible. We depend so much on
Our conceptual symbols. No way are they tied
To the essences naming them. Be there no doubt!

We can sense life in two ways. Personality
Is a relative tool of survival we use
To communicate everything stored in the mind.
But the other way is of a different kind.
There’s the space of light consciousness which, if we choose,
Can get us to perceiving things quite label free.

The practice of perception is done anywhere.
Most ideal is the environment of nature.
There, one can just observe things simply as they are.
Dropping into this beingness is as bizarre
As the person who senses it’s calming allure.
Getting in touch with one’s true self shouldn’t be rare.

Consciousness on two levels – the transcendent one
And the self with its biases – both we engage.
What plays out in the foreground is of the ego.
In the background, the true self can lovingly show
Its full brightness. The false self may then come of age
Through the coolest relationship ever begun.

Like a lampshade, the person I am gives the light
From my spirit eternal its formative hues.
The conditioned self is dense and heavy a load.
Knowing of my true light source I’m well on the road
To then loving my neighbor as my true self who’s
The same essence eternal which is just as bright.

The Healers

Caretakers Of Humanity

Recognizing The Healers among us for me
Is an easy thing simply because I am one.
Most descriptions of INFP’s, as we’re called,
Say that all that can keep us forever enthralled
Are the things of the spirit. Indeed we have fun
While exploring the human soul… usually.

Introverted, Intuitive, Feeling, (one more)
And Perceiving – these four words are the acronym
For we INFP types. Does this make me proud?
Quite in spite of my ego, to life I’m avowed.
Darkness like the horrendous scourge of racism
Is but fuel for enlightenment. It’s not a bore.

We love speaking in parables and metaphors.
Inventing fresh new symbols to share our ideals,
We are at our creative best. Keen rhetoric
Fascinates us to no end, and our minds are quick.
The slow speed of mere lightning is not that which heals.
Infinite is the frequency spirit endures.

We become overwhelmed often, and we do err
Because we are as human as all humankind.
Altruistic are we, and we’re misunderstood.
One’s perfected morality is for the good
Of the soul of the planet. The task we’re assigned
Is to process experiences and to share.

Invictus

The Invincible One

The dark night of the soul of all humanity
Blankets me in a blackness, the darkest I’ve known
Since the virus of racism caught humankind
In the hell made a battlefield of the sick mind.
Nonetheless I am thankful that I’m not alone.
By divinity power is given to me.

I remember past challenges. I was constrained
Yet I showed no discomfort nor did I complain.
Beaten brutally by unyielding circumstance,
I am given much more than a black snowball’s chance
To rise up like the phoenix with heaven to gain.
Looking on toward the future, my pride is maintained.

Though the challenge seem futile as death changes ways
It can have its way with us, sincere is my hope
That the same God who strengthens me will help me do
Everything in our powers to rightly subdue
The dark shadow that threatens all. On the tightrope
In a serious circus, I want for no praise.

Matters not does it how dark night gets before dawn.
Fully am I prepared, for robust is my will
Through incurred purgatories. I am the master
Of my fate and the captain (as I’d most prefer
It be always) of my soul and its expert skill.
United we combat illness until it’s gone.

Wisdom Of Youth

All The Young Sages...

We adults think we know everything to be known
And that only from us should our children be taught.
We take not this approach with our vegetables.
They don’t need any training. Nature enables
Youthful living creatures to receive what is sought.
We can learn things from children if not ego prone.

Wisdom doesn’t come from us and then trickle down
To the newest arrivals. It’s drawn from below.
As it makes its way upward through society,
What is no longer working can be completely
Overhauled or discarded. The seed we do sow
Knows of its royal essence while reaching the crown.

Our young collect pebbles, colored shiny objects,
And all sorts of things trivial to you and me.
But they are the most precious things to a young one.
They know not how to play our game. It isn’t fun
Because it’s one of power which they don’t yet see
As worthwhile and of value in certain aspects.

And we must educate them and teach them values
So that they learn the real game to play it to win.
But the game, when it’s mastered, brings on but the truth
That they had while of innocence back in their youth.
Feeling no satisfaction they suffer chagrin
Having fallen for learning the best ways to lose.

Older folk have their purpose. It’s to become wise
In the ways of experience. We learn to teach.
There’s no way to the kingdom of heaven unless
We become like children. If we can acquiesce
To the wisdom of freshness in time, we may reach
A sublime evolution as brilliant youth rise.

Orwell On The Thaw

Catching Up To 1984

Shortly prior to death, his stark warnings of things,
That may come without notice like drying wet paint,
Were recorded by interview decades ago.
His insight was uncanny. Keenly did he know
Human nature, although he wrote with some constraint
Due to TB and the horror that sickness brings.

There will be few emotions… Most certainly fear,
Rage, and triumph over someone who is helpless.
The erotic instinct, once eradicated,
Will abolish the orgasm. People instead
Will be sequenced by gene splicing. Should one express
Any aberrant feelings, one may disappear.

Power intoxication will always exist.
Victory is the thrill felt in mortal combat.
To consider the future imagine a boot
Forever on a human face. Selfish pursuit
Will forever be the most effective format
For approaching life. Needs of others are dismissed.

Loyalty to The Party will be absolute.
Anyone thinking differently will be known
Through mind probing intelligence. The moral here
Is stark ravingly simple and perfectly clear.
This does not have to happen. By free will we own
The decision to change. It’s our sole attribute.

Thoughts On Death

The Adjustment Through Mourning

Wondering what it would be like to go to sleep
And to never wake up is the fog of mourning.
The next logical question, were it to be asked
Through gut wrenching emotion for one who has passed,
Is: “What was it like waking up after having
Never been asleep?”
(If you don’t know… This Is Deep!)

Thoughts of death bring on panic – an instinct normal
For surviving, as creatures of nature we are.
Disappearance from earth is simply seasonal.
Every current of life leads to one waterfall.
One cannot fight the current. The stream is by far
Too much for the mere ego who must feel but small.

Happiness and security doesn’t consist
Of the clinging onto things… especially change.
Senses become awakened with this much insight.
A discernible difference ever so slight
Between this world and heaven can be not so strange.
It’s been known that the two worlds indeed coexist.

We all know very well that after people die
Other people are born, and we all are the same.
We can only experience one at a time
Each and everyone of us. Is this not sublime?
When death comes to us we are still part of the game.
Letting oneself accept it is the best goodbye.

Death Of The Party

Perverse Entertainment

Human drama unfolds as expected these days.
One need not own a TV to sense what is news.
Any person of color can feel the outrage
Of the animal instinct. Upon the world stage
The racist body politic echoes its views
Of righteous indignation and will to abrase.

A sedate subtle simmering has not its peak.
A political time bomb is due to go off
Yet it can’t be determined when it will explode.
I prepare my strange heart for the next episode.
Deep dark damaging hatred is noting to scoff.
Sanity within safety is all that I seek.

My last visit to my bank was just such a test.
The Caucasian bank teller did ask me if I
Added all of the numbers up all on my own
But I chose to ignore her despicable tone
Lest a knee to the neck be my fate if I try
To respond as appropriate. How is this best?

I live not in a nation where I can feel safe
Let alone feel some ownership of my homeland.
Even though proper people now have taken charge
Civil war is a chronic event by and large.
The nature of the hatred I can’t understand.
All I know is I’m feeling much more like a waif.

Focusing Is About Saying No

Attention Must Be Undivided

Getting work done takes focus. To be clutter free
Is to glide with efficiency throughout the day.
If one manages oneself as one does others,
Then one’s personal style is what the team incurs.
If pathetic the person is, what’s the best way
To correct the imbalance and most tactfully?

Some bosses seeming ruthless are just putting on.
They have love for their companies and employees.
But they must remain focused in the direction
That the company’s headed. So it must be run
With the least deviation. It is not to please
Other talented egos. This view is foregone.

Off in many directions most people will go
Doing things of great interest arguably.
But the total is less than the sum of the parts.
Wasted human resources leads to broken hearts
And the death of the business. The wise one will see
The dismissive behavior as part of the show.

Practical must the mind be as energy flows
In all proper directions according to plan.
People go off in tangents, and this is ok.
Creative is the driving force in how we play.
But to keep things in focus as best as one can
One must say no to nonsense the job may impose.

We Are The Universe

The Only Frontier

What’s a fact most astounding that someone could share
About all of existence – the whole universe?
Some may find it of interest and take to heart
What the mind of a master would wish to impart.
But most would die of boredom, brain burnout, or worse.
I’m just passing this on simply because I care.

I’ll drop Neil De Grasse Tyson’s name time and again.
He’s one soul I look up to. The way he explains
And answers loaded questions on topics profound
Is the reason he’s become by now world renowned.
Understanding him doesn’t require super brains.
Clearly he is a giant among mortal men.

His answer to the question goes something like this:
The most astounding fact is the knowledge that we
And all life on earth are made of the building blocks
Of the guts ancient stars spewed. It’s no paradox
That the traceable crucible of you and me
Is a cosmic connection no one can dismiss.

Fundamental ingredients do the stars make
Under infinite pressures and temperatures high.
They collapse and explode to new generations
Of life possible planets. Indeed we’re the ones
Who participate actively. Through the night sky
We are what we observe. Nature makes no mistake.