Tag Archive | regret

Perpetual Mantra

The Eternal Ringing

I know that things are always working out for me.
It’s a bold affirmation considering that
My past has caught up with me. I now realize
That I’ve screwed up completely. Does this make me wise?
I cannot listen to my mind’s idle chitchat.
Can I still live my life as I want it to be?

Things often work out for me. Sometimes I’m aware
That they are, and it feels good whenever they do.
I don’t need to focus upon the condition.
All I need is to give myself full permission
To be more worthy of the mantra being true.
It’s a statement that any person can declare.

Things are always working out for me. It is fact.
I’m beginning to trust in my own wellbeing.
I’m not worthy of feeling unworthy of it.
All that is created is for my benefit,
And my inner being is never agreeing
With my self-loathing. That’s not part of my contract.

I can help things to work out by my consciously
Accepting and repeating what has been made clear.
I can smooth out the flow of what’s coming by my
Remembering that I can completely rely
On the mantra perpetual. A new frontier
Of enlightenment is available to me.

Regrets And Resentment

Excess Luggage

Someone did me wrong. It was cruel and unjust,
And because it has happened I cannot be free
To enjoy life. I’m anchored deeply in the past.
As I ruminate there I become an outcast
In a world that was once mine. Why can I not be
Gratified instead of feeling utter disgust?

Everything leads me to the place of being free.
Every human has at one time or another
Been betrayed. It’s a part of life. If I respond
Negatively, only more of the same is spawned.
Life is not about this part of human nature.
It’s about dealing with it spiritually.

The betrayal of trust has been experienced
By us all. The thoughts I keep regurgitating
Hold the past to the present. I can’t realize
My incredible beingness if I despise
Anyone else. The suffering to which I cling
Can only be to other folks wrongly dispensed.

Fresh and clear is the feeling that I would prefer.
The baggage is a burden. I can let it go
To the past where it has gone and is there to stay.
Every time that I go there, it won’t go away.
Blame will only stop me from receiving the flow
Of divine grace that naturally does occur.

A Spoonful Of Contrition

A Most Selfish Act

I must know that I’m worthy although I’ve done wrong.
For my soul, I seek justice, but I must live on
So that I suffer vividly in solitude.
All who own me know they have the right to intrude
Upon my conscience all through the night until dawn.
My regret become karmic is where I belong.

All must seek retribution for what I have done.
As my life caves in on me, all that I should know
Is that some small redemption exists for this soul.
I don’t ask that the balance of my life be whole
But allow me the substance to pay what I owe
Otherwise, my existence is much worse than none.

But I can’t get there from here. I know for a fact
That I must have the feeling before conditions
Start to manifest for me. My sorrow blocks it.
How do I balance karma if I’m poorly fit
To function as a human among sacred ones
Who provide my life lessons with relative tact?

Universe, please connect me to all I deserve.
I have no fear in asking; just guide me somehow.
With my head hung in sorrow, intense is my shame.
I hate that I have no one but myself to blame.
Can the Law Of Attraction still let me allow?
Or am I just a screwed one with colossal nerve?

Though I can be facetious in this agony
The damned knot in the stomach is losing its voice.
If it’s silenced completely, is my life ended?
Or will I find relief from existential dread?
Seeing myself as worthy is my only choice.
I cannot turn by back on deciding to be.

Life Or Death

Choice Or Sentance

It’s a matter of being – or not being here.
In one tenth of an instant all life could be gone.
Then what happens thereafter? Don’t go there so fast.
Though the grips of electrons at best only last
But a non-fatal flailing… do curse the new dawn.
Obstacles are withstanding. I can’t disappear.

Fascination I’m left with – it’s all that remains –
For the movement of particles… or anything
Well accustomed to light speed. I live for the spark
That gives honor to contrast between light and dark.
Only when it gets awful, destructive thinking
Leaves me languidly livid – the worst of all pains.

Living just for this moment, relief I do find.
Distraction from rejection is re-translation
Of the latter to loveliness, but at a cost
To the hurtful part of me who is rather lost
In this world become nasty beyond all reason.
Can creatures like electrons be known to be kind?

 If ever the thereafter consumes my yearning
For the pain to be over, the present is one
That cannot be mistaken for past rotten deeds
Perpetrated in darkness for my selfish needs.
That I get to remain here, true justice is done.
On no thin thread of mercy I’m willing to cling.