Tag Archive | offbeat

Let the Hardware Department Find You a Good Screw

TheMagicRealist.com, The Magic Realist, Magic Realism

To the Hardware Department is where I will go
To find all that I need and more than I could want.
It’s a bright place of wonder and many delights.
When a man has no hardware, he’s prone to start fights.
And a man without tools is quite easy to taunt
So show kindness to such a soul. He’s feeling low.

The requirement for a good screw occurs when
In the mind there’s a yearning to see what’s out west.
If perchance I should go there and not find my gold
I would feel disappointed and somewhat controlled.
When it comes to good hardware I will find the best
At the Hardware Department where often I’ve been.

We all need a good screw every once in a while.
It’s a function of nature to drive it in deep.
Yet, the deeper it’s driven, the tighter the hold.
Living with living hardware is meant for the bold.
What one finds at the hardware store doesn’t come cheap
And with proper alignment, folks can screw in style.

Deriving What’s Integral

This half-life that I’m living is not a straight line.
Though it is a real function. I can’t coexist.
I’m one being of integral selfhood right now
And for all now’s becoming until my last bow.
When my flesh turns to ashes, my soul may be missed.
This derivative interval is yours and mine.

Life seems never too level. There’s always some slope.
I climb up and roll down along path with a view
Of solutions to problems I do not create.
If I see things that way am I governed by fate?
By deriving what’s integral to what is true
I have no need for wishing or banking on hope.

With regard to the area under my graph
It is all that’s contained in one half sudden wake.
It behooves me to look once and then turn away
Toward that which is most wanted. My heart cannot stray
From my limit as I approach all that can make
Me surrender in tune to a good belly laugh.

Friday News Roundup

TheMagicRealist.com

If the news are as cattle, is battle the wave
Of the future where sources of worthy content
Shoot it out in the main among those who are not?
Giddy up them thar dogies; they are a fine lot.
Head them up. Move them out. Cover every event
Where the focus is stuck on how folks misbehave.

I’m no cowboy journalist. That’s a fine art.
Yet, I could not demand that it be nothing more
Than the facts – not discussion among talking heads.
Verbal discourse can wrap the mind in tangled threads.
We seem used to tough leather. Our spirits seem poor.
Yet, that image is fallacy right from the start.

I can round up them rascals quite well on my own.
I can tell them, “Go thither,” and they will do so.
This old world is in good shape. The town is a mess.
One could say we are bastions of beef, more or less.
They may be disapproving. If so, they must go.
I don’t mind my own head talking when I’m alone.

A Sucker For A Circuit

TheMagicRealist.com

I am not one to shirk it when given a circuit.
The ones that are simple are simply divine.
Free electrons make loopty loops and ride along
In whatever they’re going through. Naught can go wrong
Until fate disconnects them. ‘Till then, they are fine.
They need only a jumpstart and don’t have to work it.

As I live this amusement park, I take delight
In the color and wonder and movement I see.
Never mind that I’m grown up. I see with the eyes
That seek laughter and joy and much fun filled surprise.
I take measure of not much, these days. I can be
Anywhere that enthralls me by day or by night.

There’s an amplification that takes place within
When the base signal reaches a level above
That which turns on life flow. Worthy output appears
At the inner collector made wise through the years.
I can enter one end and go out in pure love.
There’s no ending. There’s just somewhere new to begin.

A Nation of Cause, Not of Men

TheMagicRealist.com

Hi! Dick Dudworthy here with some cryptic advise
For those seeking help to get right with the law.
I’m as blind as a bat. That’s how life should be seen
So I can’t tell what’s dirty from that which is clean.
They are both interchangeable, and best of all
I need not speak the truth. I need but to act nice.

An attorney is one who sorts out right from wrong
From the client’s perspective… a short order crook.
Every law is a structure with moveable parts.
They require those skilled in the deceptive arts.
So it doesn’t make much sense to play by the book.
You may end up in some place where you don’t belong.

Although justice is blind, that don’t help my behind
With deciphering how human nature becomes
So entangled in verbal machinery that
We can sue anyone at the drop of a hat.
I exist for those righteous in beating the drums
Of devout indignation and false peace of mind.

The Octopus’ Garden

TheMagicRealist.com

If one cares for one’s garden, all good things will grow.
One must watch it consistently to keep it free
Of invaders like grasshoppers and other pests
And of all of the things that a garden detests.
If one ignores one’s garden, it will come to be
That it grows rather poorly. This much I do know.

In brief commentary to she who’s named Mary
I would ask how her garden exists in her mind.
If she said, “It’s a puzzle. It doesn’t make sense,”
I would then be obliged to take her thought’s defense.
Everything about life is a game of a kind.
There’s no burden to play… no big load to carry.

I can cultivate gardens of chaos by how
My neglect of them leaves them wide open to prey.
I can bring about order when things run amuck.
I can do myself well by not passing the buck.
The wise octopus frolics through much of his day.
He’s at home in serenity forever now.

 

Who Approved This Design?

TheMagicRealist.com

This peculiar design hasn’t passed by my desk.
Who came up with it? This really baffles my mind.
Most the creatures I know get along on all fours.
Most have skin that stays dry. They have nothing like pores.
This design that becomes me is of an odd kind.
Does it have the potential to be statuesque?

It is of its own nature subliminal to
The same math that is natural to the grand sum
Of the natures of all things perceived in this realm.
But can man be perceived to be wise at the helm?
This design has some issues to be overcome.
It could be tweaked a bit more. Perhaps that will do.

This magnificent form is not perfect to me
As it reaches from nature to nature by way
Of the mind that reflects like a mirror with heart.
When my vision gets cloudy, I may fall apart.
It’s a trip being human. It quickens my day
And provides me with wonder and purpose to be.

Mega Motor Mothermouth

TheMagicRealist.com

Mega Mother Mirifica straight from Thailand
Is the herb I’m most high on. It is nature’s best.
None can mess with my motormouth. Many have tried.
I will talk rings around people and with great pride.
When my speech engine piques, I out motor the rest.
I don’t know what I’m saying, but folks understand.

Give me riches or fame or life’s forbidden fruit.
That may satisfy me if I were but a dame.
But my mouth is terrific. It runs on its own
Whether standing before you or via smartphone.
Men and women do motormouth about the same
And this doesn’t stop either from being astute.

I have something to say just as those who do not.
It can’t matter too little if there’s little talk
Because I fill the vacuum when there is no sound.
I could gab myself giddy. I’m quick to expound
On most anything uttered among any flock.
Where there are ears to talk to, I do what I ought.

Give Us The Grab Ass

TheMagicRealist.com

It was custom that candidates pleaded their case
To the public who decided which one would be
The next governor to stand outside of the law.
They had made their decision at once and for all.
They had chosen The Grab Ass, and to some degree,
‘Twas a guaranteed win without running a race.

“Which one do you want me to give to you today?”
Asked the Uncle, so gobsmacked at such a lame choice.
“Shall I give you this nice Secretary of State?
She appears squeaky clean… surely nothing to hate.”
But, the people who voted thought they had a voice.

The Big Bear chose The Grab Ass. Is this the new way?

“Kindly give us The Grab Ass!” I heard people shout.
“We don’t care that he’s nasty and gruff in his ways.
We just want someone brazen to stir up the pot.
The man has a red hard on. This matters a lot!
And as for poor old Hillary, our voices raise –
Lock her up in hell’s dungeon and don’t let her out!”

Here’s The Beef

TheMagicRealist.com

I am Manny, the meat man with many fine meats.
I will slice through your town and deliver fine cuts
Of the purest of premium beef parts there are.
I’ll deliver the beef with no bull from afar
Nor nearby so that all will have beef in their guts
Or their butts depending on how well the soul eats.

I do carry whole beef by the half or hind quart
Or by wedges with holes in them to give them air.
I have beef by the barrel, if that be your shape
Or by hormone replacement without the red tape.
The whole world is a meat market, just to be fair.
All I do is deliver. I’ll never run short.

“Where’s the Beef?”, then, should not be a question for you.
I have advertised subtly through the ages.
Beef is totally nourishing, high grade protein.
It can make the soul hearty and make the heart mean.
My whole beef isn’t mean. It’s practiced in stages.
I should start selling veggies. Folks might like that too.

Diagnostic Statistical Menace

TheMagicRealist.com

Have I spent enough time with my sick self today?
Seems I’ve used a reserved word from DSM twelve.
Some will tell me I’m sick by the things that I write.
They’ve a right to be right. I will give them no fight.
I shall keep on creating. My true heart will delve
Into all that I must be. I’m structured that way.

There’s a time for believing I’m worth every bit
Of the life force and consciousness focused through me.
That time is, as always, always, and I’m sure
That if I took the time to make sure I’m secure
I would freefall through life like the leaf from the tree.
Life’s momentum is fated so I cannot quit.

Yes, I spent time with self today, searching my soul
Not for reason of purpose or conscience remorse
But for meaning in how I relate to this day.
Did I learn anything new and have fun at play?
That is nobody’s business except mine, of course.
Yet my sharing it with you is part of my goal.

Serrated Serenade

TheMagicRealist.com

I’m one cat who is lovesick. My heart is in tune
Well to your heart’s desires, whatever they be.
Though I sing like a sick wheel and play pretty bad
I am having the best time that I’ve ever had
Pouring my heart before you and for all to see
That I am at my best when I’m touched by the moon.

I’m in love with my loving. Not so much with you
Though you happen to be at my center of gaze.
I’m in love with my living and being carefree.
There’s one purpose to living, and that is to be.
Then whatever ensues will enlighten my days.
I can share that with you but I can’t say, “I do.”

There are no strings attached to our living the bliss
Of communing in harmony throughout our years.
I do like you somewhat. Let’s just see how it plays.
What will come of our joining, our hearts will appraise.
May we forge our way forward and conquer our fears.
We’ll begin such a journey upon our first kiss.

Infidelicacies

TheMagicRealist.com

Early Christians torched lambs as a sign of respect.
None was meant for the lamb, though. It was God’s alone.
We’ve since ceased burning creatures we’ve butchered at stake.
We have stopped killing witches because of that snake.
There are numerous habits that we have outgrown.
It makes sense that we’ve done so. Our path is correct.

We are creatures of customs and quaint ritual.
I remember the frankincense when I was young.
And the Mass sung in Latin was such an affair.
It was all very mystical. None can compare
To a High Mass where congregants feel they’re among
Heaven’s angels and all known as spiritual.

Earth is Spirit As Well as the angels who dwell
In that other world where we’ll return to someday.
All things are of spirit. There’s nothing that’s not.
There’s no call for my feeling that I don’t have squat.
I have spirit to play with and put on display.
I take notice that I’m a well-fed infidel.

Flustercuck

TheMagicRealist.com

There are two or more gathered. It could be in grace
Or in consort with cunning in weaving a spell.
Many people united can become perplexed
With that ‘chicken or egg’ thing and which will come next.
That lame argument is a façade with a smell.
It was implemented to keep fools in their place.

People are much like chickens. We scratch and we peck
At that which is below us, as we judge it so.
As we gather together, we make such a fuss
Over just about anything meaningless, thus
Most the worms we’re consuming will not make us grow.
Social clusters are often a pain in the neck.

I am not xenophobic. I cuck with a few
Of my species because alone I’d not survive.
Each one pecks in one’s own way. There’s no reason why
One should peck like another. No rules here apply
Except those of the cosmos wherein we may thrive
As we had well intended when we were brand new.

Of Our Souls’ Unlike Poles

TheMagicRealist.com

Poles unlike can repel as this picture will tell:
One kind heart made for loving; one mean one for war.
We behave on all spectrums we feel may make sense.
Our magnetic reactions are our chief defense.
We are bipolar creatures who strive to be more
Than our natures can handle at times, but we’re well.

Are we well on our way to whoever we are
Without knowing the heart’s place in living life well?
The invisible flux lines we claim as our force
Can bring us true alignment or steer us off course.
At the seam of life’s structure is where I can dwell…
Where extremes in my makeup are never too far.

Unlike poles do attract, as a matter of fact.
My perceptive comparisons are just a way
To make sense of the magnetic soup I swim in.
Although noble a task, the task is to begin
Living life to its fullest with focus on play.
It’s a whole different thing, though, when like poles attract.

Flaming Petutia

TheMagicRealist.com

It’s a Flaming Petutia. Minutia fulfills
All desires the human mind idle can bare.
Though the fragrance is earthy, true colors do bloom
As a function of how much the mind will consume
With the purpose of sorting out what one can share
With some others in hopes it may trigger some thrills.

The Petutia, a sphincter with petals unique,
Can release, as it opens, what lies under foot.
It is not to be looked at. It’s grosser than hell!
There’s no flower quite like it. How does it compel
One to while away blissful with feelings well put
In a fine floating boat that is headed down creek?

It is done by my knowing the world makes no sense
Except for the ones who have found a good space
In a field gone prolific in manifold smell.
I partake in whatever will ring my heart’s bell
And will make life a fresh one immune to disgrace
Every moment, in light of no need for defense.

Didgeri Donewith

TheMagicRealist.com

It’s no fun! I am done with my didgeridoo.
It turns out it’s a nightmare carved from a tree branch.
Though there are those who play it and do it quite well
I do better with gut gas. All nearby can tell.
Both our blowing could trigger a fine avalanche
In a world where such things can come out of the blue.

I’ve a didgeridoo as a gift from a friend.
He is not from down under but from across town.
Might he have some agreement with them on the side?
Does he think I might learn how to play once I’ve tried?
Well, I’ve tried it enough times to put the thing down.
There’s just too much hard work and ill will to transcend.

So, I’m Didgeri Donewith. I did what I did
Thinking I’d have the patience to do as those do
Who have talent for getting good sound to come out
Of a tube wholly hollow. I’m left with no doubt
That my lungs need no workout. My didgeridoo
Done did all that it needs to. It now will be hid.

Zonehenge

TheMagicRealist.com

It’s a fact we spend much of our time in some queue.
Though we seem to be busy, we’re standing in line.
It is so unproductive to waste so much time
While we’re being held captive. No moment is prime
When there’s no movement forward – no sense of a sign
That my prison will free me for more things to do.

Does it seem to be moving? I can’t really tell.
The Illusion of movement can play with the mind.
Where in the world else but in non-moving lines
Can the mind shut down gracefully as it resigns
Itself to the reality that I’m confined
In a life situation a half tier from hell?

Like most relics, lines have evolved at a slow rate
Notwithstanding their increasing length over time.
We are Stonehenge-like creatures when frozen in place.
When I’m loose in a mindscape, I feel no disgrace.
I should zone out as my time seems not worth a dime.
Life is much more worth living than having to wait.

Some Advice For Young Poets

TheMagicRealist.com

There’s a reason I didn’t start speaking ‘til four,
As my family began to think something was wrong.
I just needed more time. Language didn’t seem quite
Like something to take lightly. That didn’t seem right.
I was rushed into speaking so I’d get along
With society’s programs and culture and more.

Perhaps I took enough time to learn language well
Long before I would stutter and make some mistakes.
My perfectionist attitude slowed down my pace.
Had I known living life well amounts to a race
I would not have been tricked into playing high stakes
In a game I know nothing of. I am in hell!

I would want future poets to see I made sense
On some level, despite my most retrograde mind.
Have your way with my style and do call it your own.
Do Not tell them it’s mine because my life is blown.
Anything attached to my name is ill-assigned.
Make a carcass of my work and at my expense.

 

It’s About Self Control

TheMagicRealist.com

I attract what comes to me – no doubt about that.
When I find myself frazzled by what’s in my way,
I do tend to go off. I’ve been known to get riled
When I feel that my honor is being defiled
By someone with control issues and much to say –
Not with words but with attitude like a bobcat.

Tough black cats at the drive thru is what I will get
When I doubt what my better self knows fully well.
That is: No one can damage my ‘honor’ but me.
What goes on in the real world is not mine to see.
I can get through this fine day without letting hell
Have her pleasure at my expense and much regret.

Self-control is a skill to be practiced and honed
And this world does provide opportunities great.
I can move most my muscles; that much is for sure.
I command subtle energies never obscure
To my worthiness as well as those whom I hate.
My distaste for the drive thru is hereby postponed.

A Chawpauper’s Chance

TheMagicRealist.com

As most archetypes merge and evolve into more
Well-submerged in subconsciousness, earth drives the soul
Toward fulfilling its haughty desires unscathed
Until true life departs oneself. Then one is bathed
In a fog unbecoming a person who’s whole.
Even though one is chawless, there’s much to adore.

I know nothing of chaw. I am in no debate.
But by rogue curiosity I can possess
Some faint insight benevolent to the chaw heart.
Chaw is nasty to me. We are lightyears apart.
I can see people packing it when under stress.
When they’re chawless, they enter a psychotic state.

I’ve respect for the chawless and chawfull as well.
Rather than keeping tongue in cheek, they keep a ball
Of the foulest, most fecal of substances made.
Yet, it’s not by my scale that another is weighed.
Whence a chawpauper’s chance could be measured as small
It’s the breath that might kill you because of the smell.

Stock Up On B’Jesus

TheMagicRealist.com

I’ve stocked up on B’Jesus. I keep tons on hand.
I am sometimes scared out of it due to my not
Having faith in my knowing that harm can’t occur
In my life unless I turn my cheek, as it were,
From the wellbeing present. In fact, there’s a lot
Of ways to keep B’Jesus intact as I’d planned.

If B’Jesus were marketed in such a way
That it wouldn’t wreak havoc within the mass soul,
Then maybe all God’s people would trade fear for love.
That would be kind of boring for souls up above.
They would rather we kick back and watch super bowl.
With B’Jesus so volatile, keep lots and pray.

My B’Jesus supply is my ticket to health
In a way that no doctor in my life could be.
All B’Jesus is warehoused and shipped from the place
Deep within self and to self in radiant grace.
Any feces that’s fan-borne can’t terrify me.
So, in terms of B’Jesus, I wallow in wealth.

Nature Of The Coil

TheMagicRealist.com

As the coil whistles wild tunes and rattles the nerve
Of what rest of self savors – an ease about flow,
The mind could think that wellbeing has a firm grip
On the body, or it could go bonkers an trip
On just why it seems, all the time, it has to know
To what purpose the whistles and rattles might serve.

It’s a coil, after all, in the form of a bowel.
I will steer clear of jargon that steers from what’s clear.
A tight coil is less spring-like, or more, by the way
I devote my attention throughout the long day.
If I take notice that no bowel movement is near
Then my day is a menace; my language is foul.

Thirty feet of a snake that will never stretch out
Nor will never see light of my day from its place
Well-concealed in its chamber, content in its ways,
I should cease my condemning it and give it praise
For the work it does ceaselessly in its embrace
Of whatever I put it through without a doubt.

The Beleaguered Debate

TheMagicRealist.com

It’s been said truth sounds like hate to those who hate truth.
Now, if that ain’t a paradox, send me to school!
Does this mean that falsehood sounds like love to the ones
Among us who serve mendacity by the tons?
That one’s truth is another’s excuse for a duel
Is a symptom that manifests from early youth.

I am prone to dig deeper to get to the core
Of that which is excitable, pleasant or not.
When big planets drop by and move in for a year
I could choose to expand my affairs without fear.
There are things about passion that scare me a lot.
Though I keep on complaining, I do ask for more.

When the elements fire and water touch base
The emotions are heated to levels above
That which cannot withstand being liquid in form.
They expand with a power apart from the norm.
We can be broken down to be rebuilt in love.
It’s a Jupiter/Scorpio thing taking place.

By the Numbers

TheMagicRealist.com

The Pi-th root of infinity, should it exist
As a variable that traverses the mind,
Is a root counter rational. And it’s not real.
Even though it’s not real math, it does have the feel
Of the essence of living among humankind.
Within seas of infinities, none are dismissed.

Any root of infinity should be the same
As the sum of infinities, meaning, them all.
That is, if it could be quantifiable stuff
Where one gets to the point where one says, “That’s Enough!”
Yet, indeed it’s a concept one couldn’t call small.
It does draw the mind close like the moth to the flame.

By the numbers, I number among the ignored.
That is nothing to cry about. I will be heard
As my meaning has function with my heart and mind.
Might that happen this time around? I am resigned
To a life of fulfillment transfigured through word.
There are worlds of infinities to be explored.

Opposition to Change

TheMagicRealist.com

That resistance is much like impedance is what
I believe non-hair-splitters believe is absurd.
Opposition to current flow through any coil
Is not like through resistor where current must toil.
Free electrons are volatile – easily stirred
Into motion. They book when their path is clear cut.

There’s resistance to life. There’s impedance as well.
I’ve both AC and DC afoot through my nerves.
When I wish for my dreams to come true, but I doubt,
I’ve got AC creating impedance throughout
My inductive creativeness. My flow deserves
Resonance in its purpose wherein I excel.

I can deal with resistance in life when in tune.
I can sense the direction my life force has faced.
When I feel heavy heat loss with energy low,
I’ve got too much resistance impeding the flow
Of the best life that I can live with heart well-placed
Within earth’s human circuitry where all commune.

Two Lips by Land or Tulips by Sea

TheMagicRealist.com

Many landscapes and seascapes avail themselves to
Simple pleasures of living that people enjoy.
Many lips go for kissing or catching the breeze.
There are spaces for tulips along friendly seas.
Whether tulips or few lips, each harbor the ploy
Of accessing the inner self like an old shoe.

Two lips land locked could be but one half of a quad
Where the missing half seems not a task to conceive.
Or two lips can be literate, light and at ease
With the spirit of nature who’s willing to please.
With some tulips between lips some hearts do achieve
Some small measure of happiness. Does that seem odd?

It’s the toss of a coin, sometimes, how things evolve.
Often life seems a game of chance hostile to will.
But it seems, at the same time, that I’m in control
Of what happens in my life and with my own soul.
That control comes from within – the voice that is still.
With a lifetime of life scenes, I’ve nothing to solve.

Full Function Generator

TheMagicRealist.com

To maintain a wave function, there’s unction involved,
Of the kind that is foul like the breath of the bowel.
When gratuitous bodily functions persist,
Then events that are current should drift off my list
Of life scenes I engage with. A healthy avowal
Is one I’ll not take lightly if life seems unsolved.

Live does seem rather gross. There is spit in the air.
Folks are hocking their guts out for others to see.
But it’s just my perception. I see it that way
Only if it is helpful in making my day
The way I and those like me would like it to be.
Were there not others like me, life wouldn’t be fair.

Life’s a function phenomenal – much like a dream
Where the mind excretes heavily upon the soul.
To endure a wave function would take strength of will.
To collapse one effectively, one must have skill.
In the grim art of winning at every sought goal,
There’s a point where one thinks that one’s will is supreme.

Spirit Is a Full Wave Rectifier

TheMagicRealist.com

A long series of ups and downs marks this sort trip
Through a life that is lived induced into the next.
One half cycle is joy, and the other is pain.
I experience both to my truest self’s gain.
But my true self in spirit can never be vexed
As the half cycle negative, true self will flip.

Any life situation I see in some way
That is not to my liking – a pain up the path
My true self doesn’t go there. That’s why I feel pain.
It does see things quite differently, without disdain.
As it processes sine waves, the cool aftermath
Is full rectification with zero delay.

Life in spirit is positive – nothing but good.
It’s our good times – and bad times – that do make it so.
I can translate the pain any way that I may.
But I know that my true self just knows a great day.
Though my negative half cycles hinder my flow
I can know they will pass as I will and well should.

The Mystery of Faith

TheMagicRealist.com

Without faith and with shoes on, I walk across time.
Half way past holy bullshit, I always find more.
From the fake polls that tell me that Clinton should win
To the priests who spunk little boys (Ain’t that a sin?),
I know faith is a mystery dressed as a whore.
It’s complexity makes for a rich paradigm.

I can take what seems solid and firm to the touch
As mere referral points that in time will dissolve
Into nothingness, just like the space in-between
All particulate substances that can’t be seen.
God has given each soul its own puzzle to solve.
As for seeking consensus – it doesn’t mean much.

Yet, it means much to those who would have me believe
There’s a God who’s outside me who’s bigger than mine.
We are followers. That’s why we’re tended like sheep.
We are strung out for someone’s commandments to keep.
Any fool with a message will suit the world fine.
Faith is oft’ an elixir to numb the naïve.

What Every Colon Knows

TheMagicRealist.com

One would think I’m a colon or that it is me
As I move about backed up with scowl on the brain.
If I find myself trapped near the end of my gut,
Seems my bowel is an asshole who’s tired of the rut
That we both made together while waxing insane.
My behavior’s atrocious, as I can well see.

I gave up on the action paths. None will work well.
I’ve popped shitters like Skittles and chased them with milk
Of magnesia. I’ve tried tons of ex-lax and more.
I’m so hell bent on crapping, I’ve got my own store.
I would like stuff to flow softly through me like silk.
But it seems that my blasted pipes are shot to hell.

On the other hand, though, that may not be quite so.
I create my reality whether I’m trapped
In a body that feels like it’s felt its last days
Or in one that feels wholesome in all natural ways,
When I clean my vibration, that bowel will be zapped
With a blast of pure energy. This I well know.

A Fantabulous Fumbling

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I would hippity hem-haw and yippee tie yea
If I had but in inkling of what is in store.
With my ass in a sling that’s attached to nowhere
I’m a fumbling freak phantom no one can compare.
I’m a goofball – a catcher’s mitt right to the core.
Yet, I’m not in a ballgame. I can’t even play.

Serendipitous circumstance falls upon me
In a way that seems clumsy – like part of an act.
But no one can screw up quite as well as I can.
I am male and I’m hetero. Am I a man?
I can’t take people’s judgements as matter of fact.
I am here to seek balance. Thank God I can see!

A Fantabulous Fumbling through life like a breeze
Through a house of cards ready and willing to be
Cast in disarray, yielding to requited bliss,
I’m a laughable life. There is naught to remiss.
So, perhaps I was born to get others to see
Maybe nothing. In such case, I’ve naught to appease.

Interlaced Video

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I am radio active. I am a half-life
And a wavelength that’s shorter than my eyes can know.
I am half here… half not here for each moment passed.
Some converge into now, and I wish those would last.
I’m an incomplete being most moments although
Every moment’s reception is sharp as a knife.

This is not Dress Rehearsal. I’m rarely on stage
And my act is not drama, for that can be judged.
I believe in this half-life I live here and now
And I chose it wholeheartedly so I’d allow
Ample room for becoming. But I haven’t budged
Since believing I’m measured by some other’s gauge.

It’s a half-life for me. I won’t get it all done.
A complete fully functioning being I’m not.
I prepare for the next life. This life is not all
Life that I’ll ever live. That would be living small.
As my world sees right through me, I could be forgot.
I’m at home with my half-life. It’s better than none.

Too Much to Chew

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I’ve got too much too chew. It came out of the blue
Or oblivious. I don’t know which one it is.
Simple greetings befall me as well as small talk.
By default I’m committed. There’s no room to balk.
I’ve been offered a chewing as well as a quiz
Once again I’m amazed by what I’ve stepped into.

This huge bone I’ve accepted seemed small at the start.
Or perhaps my small eyes see most anything big.
My eyes get me in trouble. My loose tongue as well.
I do act on my own and create my own hell.
If my eyes could see big things as small as a twig
Perhaps then I’d be shielded from hurt to the heart.

I should bite off a large chunk if I think I can
Get my jaws wrapped around it not seeming the fool.
Yet when I find that I’ve bitten off more than I
Could digest in a lifetime, I’m ready to try
Anything that might stop my becoming a tool.
I can be of good service and still be a man.

This Universe Knows and Adores Me

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It’s a match made in heaven, this cosmos and I.
We delight in each other’s benevolent grace.
Unbeknownst to no one, I’m engaged to pure fun
And my life is worth loving and living ‘til done.
There is more time for rhyming with leather and lace.
If I could, without wings, I would take off and fly.

If I but allow it, I will feel all the love
That flows to me and through me and makes myself whole.
When I love myself first, then my cosmos responds
Often instantly. This surely strengthens our bonds.
Our relationship is such that we are one soul.
There is heaven between us as well as above.

My dear universe sees me when I am unseen
In my own separation from what it knows well.
I am loved by this universe and understood.
When I’m out of alignment, my silly thoughts could
Cast upon me some cheap psychological spell.
My soulmate is the universe with heart serene.

The Decisive Device

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A decisive device is one that can’t act nice.
Its decisions it makes with no input at all
From the user who just wants to get some things done.
I do not go for gaming nor surfing for fun.
And it gets so aggressive and makes me feel small.
I can’t deal with a dick headed devil device.

Don’t peek-a-boo to me with messages from
Your right corner, peripheral to my intent.
You do tittle my gaze as if I were a cat.
You should know that I’m human, and what’s wrong with that?
You continue to dick me. Indeed, you’re hell bent
On securing my madness so then you will cum.

A divisive sufficing may be what I need.
My decisive devices can get me perplexed.
When they tell me they’re doing things I don’t want done
Should I gather my privates, then turn tail and run?
I can’t figure out why things are so over sexed.
I shall guard my virginity as I proceed.

Life Is a Lockwash

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My caress is a wash unto those of my kind
And my kind could be all kind or no one but me.
One can think about kindness awash in pure love.
Surely all kinds can do kind things sort of kind of.
I can’t keep life from washing straight out to the sea
Because we’re locked together. Our souls are combined.

It’s awash in some contrast. My life’s not a dream.
Often times I’m impatient and damned to be right.
In the long run my life could explode in my face
If I don’t learn to concede some battles in grace.
Life before and life after this life is a bright
Reawakening to self-fulfillment supreme.

Life’s a lockwash. I’m screwed down to earth, as it were.
I am taut way past finger tight. Pressure is keen
Yet it can’t be perceived well unless I express
It in some way appropriate – not to excess.
When released from the lockwash of life there is seen
All that held me together for life to occur.

Urinal Banter

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My manhood is so huge I could call it my pal.
I do treat it that way and it does that for me.
My big pants surely can’t be as big as my balls
And my man knows his way around feminine halls.
When I bang any bitch she will cry out in glee.
I have no trouble getting my female canal.

If she likes to slurp schlong she must have a deep throat.
My man meat is a muscle of mass and much more.
She will beg for my cock. She will give it high praise.
She will preach of my peace pipe the rest of her days.
I will slam dunk that hallway until it is sore.
Should she lapse into coma, then that’s all she wrote.

Women know that my screwing is lethal indeed.
I’ll have them blowing snot bubbles before they know
What the hell ever hit them while prancing in place.
As for any bitch my dick is her saving grace.
She’ll be speaking in tongues in her long afterglow.
I am damned good at humping and cranking out seed.

Octal Antics For Hex Romantics

TheMagicRealist.com

Erudite is the errant one well on the way
To a system of numbering cast from the norm.
A translational piece of the puzzle fulfills
All the needs of machines with their digital wills.
It’s the binary linguist who must outperform
Any functional program machines must obey.

It’s that ‘there-or-not’ language machines speak so well.
On and Off is a concept that’s novel and sleek.
Ones and Zeroes are alphabet soup to be fed
To the processor where they are carefully read.
Bits of data through systems is somewhat unique.
But those numbers get cumbersome, as one can tell.

That’s the reason for Octal… And Hex, by the way.
Both these systems can translate big numbers to small.
Just a hand full of symbols – so easy to read.
And machines understand them so they will succeed
In performing efficiently for one and all.
Hex and Octal are systems that are here to stay.

The Black Widow Is Benign in Spirit

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Seems the widow’s a bitch when she’s not had her fill
Of the lover before who escaped to live on.
Life is cruel on all levels – not just with the bugs.
We can suck dry our enemies and give friends hugs.
It’s the widow, in this case, who’s gifted with brawn.
She decides who she eats by the whim of her will.

But it’s only in this life the bitch is so mean.
Though to her it’s the natural feminine way.
From the next life she watches her babies evolve.
She will never behold them. It is her resolve
To make sure that they all get the chance, come what may,
To experience living among nature’s green.

Her next hubby’s the next meal though he’s not aware.
She will need a full stomach to make babies grow.
By the same token, hubby is poised to move fast.
Once the romance is over, he wants life to last.
But if he doesn’t make it, he knows where he’ll go…
To the afterworld where creatures live without care.

But… This Map Is Sacred

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Please excuse me kind sir. I’m in search of a place
Somewhere in this fine city. Can you assist me?
What I have is this old map here. Hope you don’t mind.
I believe in this thing. It will save my behind
From a fucked afterlife. So, I’m sure you can see
I’m strung out on salvation and tons of God’s grace.

What is it that you say? This old map I possess
Has no relevance to where most things are today?
I have studied this map because God told me to.
And these long-ago landmarks should give me a clue
To whatever the Hell my God’s trying to say.
So I need to stay ancient. I vow to regress.

Could it be that the folks who lived so long ago
Had their own source of guidance in tune with their ways?
I can’t find many streets. Some no longer exist.
When I can’t find my landmarks I often get pissed.
Perhaps it is much better to live out my days
By my own inner guidance who’s easy to know.

Earth Trek

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These are the voyages we’re eager to take.
Is the purpose in coming to figure things out?
Some folks tend to do that and should think it’s ok.
Why not know what the parents know while we’re at play?
After all, where we came from seems mired in doubt.
As I gather my data I feel more awake.

I engage this amnesia made into a dream
Much as most other folks who partake of the same.
Somehow, I know we know one another quite well
In some other reality where we all dwell
In a place where we greet one another by name
And all things of magnificence are as they seem.

Our continuing mission is just to seek out.
We are gifted with strangeness and newness of heart.
We’re new life. We are civilized some of the time.
And at others we treat one another like slime.
We begin each away mission with a fresh start
And a brand-new adventure devoid of doubt.

Whatever Grinds Your Sea Salt

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Some men love to spank Hanky when Panky is steeped
In some other dank business that’s not of their own.
Seems all warnings of blindness one never will heed.
He will keep on performing his most selfish deed.
He will wrestle that monkey until it’s full grown
Then he’ll yank it some more until it has bo-peeped.

I would think it sound nature to find full relief
In whatever which way one must do what is done.
No one has any right to climb anyone’s tree.
One could train a good squirrel, though, to do it for fee.
So whatever will put your hotdog in the bun.
Do it wildly and proudly, and don’t make it brief.

One would float a bad boat with a lead overcoat
So it’s not recommended, but all else is cool.
And whatever will make that drunk chicken stand straight
Give the thing a tight fistful, for passion won’t wait.
Don’t get caught with your pants down. You’ll look like a fool.
What can surf through one’s channels is done by remote.

The Cosmos Requires This Work from Me

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Is it daytime or nighttime? It’s not that I care.
I could glance at the corner to know which it is.
By not caring, I’m knowing that I’m on my game.
I can write through the night knowing from whence it came.
And its source will not let my mind turn into fizz.
I am constantly working. To me that seems fair.

All this work that I do… Who and what is it for?
Did I fall through a crack in the cosmos somehow?
Who on earth gives me license to do what I do?
There are others who do this… perhaps better too.
My authority comes from the ones who allow
Every being alive to achieve what is more.

Not a timeclock is present here in my workspace.
I’m kept track of by bosses not seen with my eyes.
They know well when I’m working. It’s all of the time.
Even while I’m unconscious I’m driven by rhyme.
All I know about time is it seems that it flies
As I’m doing what’s best for me at my own pace.

All the Months When There’s Hem

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Is there cause to cause mayhem though it may be June?
I should consult the Wiki folk. Maybe they know.
If I did a quick Google search perhaps I’d find
All the months when there’s hem so that I’ll stay behind
When those ripe for mayheming are willing to throw
All their sense toward the seizure by light of the moon.

 It makes sense that mayheming be done during May
Just as long as the heming is kept up to par.
If they outlawed June heming by April next year
Then would late April heming produce lesser fear?
Heming is much like J-walking. Some people are
Good at crafting slick short cuts to get through their day.

I’m for heming in May – not in June or July
Because warm months are those good for frolic and play.
I may mayhem in September as it cools down
Then partake of Oktoberfest while I’m in town.
Seems there’s no other month for mayheming but May
Though it’s outlawed in all months where Now does apply.

Hitler Went to Heaven?

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Get the Hell out my face! You say Hitler went where?
I can’t take for a second what you say as true.
That dark ne’er-do-well bastard killed millions without
Any sense of remorse and much terror to tout.
When it comes to such scumbags I take grim view.
He should suffer in Hades for all that I care.

One can rest assured Karma somehow is at work.
That is if one believes in such things in some way.
Some believe that all deeds when performed while alive
Are deleted from consciousness like a hard drive.
As we step into spirit no discord can stay
As a part of our being. Thus, death’s a huge perk.

Those who know we attract what we most think about
Know that feeling repulsion or righteous disgust
Is a thing that comes naturally to mankind.
What can trip one and get one caught up in a bind
Is not knowing above all to willingly trust
That a God who is loving can heal any doubt.

The Big Question

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This one big simple question out-questions them all –
Is it good that there’s contrast, or should there be none?
We discern with our vision what’s dark from what’s light.

We compare subtle textures to see which feels right.
If we didn’t have bad times, we couldn’t have fun.
We perceive life by comparing big things and small.

There’s no struggle nor effort involved in the flight.
When the prize is in reach I locate it with ease.
My vibration is in tune with what can’t be seen.
It consumes what I’m after. My senses are keen.
If it weren’t for what’s not there, I’d flail in the breeze.
I must know what from whatnot to get through the night.

The big question is, Can I survive knowing that
Everything that I’m living depends on how well
I can tell what I’m wanting from what I do not?
I perceive life by contrast. This matters a lot.
I can navigate life like a bat out of hell.
There’s no blindness about me, nor will to combat.

Fork Out of Dodge

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I’m your Fork Out of Dodge – a proverbial guy.
I’m dramatic and forceful when it’s time to go.
Any fork undercover is grateful to be
Among those expelled first from Dodge most rightfully.
It’s the city most thought of when getting to know
The sensation of terror. The question is, Why?

Stuff can happen in any town. Why pick out one
To become the example of bad scenes to leave?
And since when does one’s safety depend on the fork?
People fork off in Kansas as well as New York!
Yet these questions are moot. I’d do best to conceive
My own clear understanding. It’s better than none.

I’m a Fork on the run and I haven’t got time
To be hanging around when the fan is turned on.
If you haven’t a fork who is stranded in Dodge
Then relax and partake of yourself a massage.
I will fly by the night. I will not wait ‘til dawn.
I am destined to grow toward a new paradigm.

The Brain is NO Mother of the Mind

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When the TV is turned on it has a nice sound
And a quality image through cable or air.
It may think that it knows not from whence it evolved.
It may ponder deep questions that will not be solved.
It may think that no signal would cause it despair.
But that’s NOT how the thing works. It’s not reason bound.

If you killed the TV… with a sledgehammer, say…
It would still get a clear signal from the One Mind.
But it wouldn’t receive on this physical plane.
It would not even function in this strict domain.
Yet the signal that lived through it is left behind.
The One Mind that’s transmitting has not gone away.

I’m aware that I’m conscious. My brain lets me know
Through perception. My senses tell me what is real.
I don’t think my receiver receives on its own.
Something Must Be Transmitting that’s yet to be shown.
When my brain turns to dust, the One Mind will reveal
All its secrets as I leave my hardware below.

Toward What End?

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What’s the point in my living? I will die someday.
That’s a fact that I’m good with, but while I’m alive
Do I have any guidance toward what is my goal?
Does the soldier-like cell by itself have a soul?
It seems now that I’m living, I’m doomed to survive.
Did some Masterful Being design it this way?

Toward what end is my being? Should I be the best
And the fastest among others who are like me?
If the cell is a soul – one who likes to play sports
And who fancies competitive games of all sorts
Then the cell has allowed me to physically be.
Should I feel like I’m special? Should I be impressed?

Mother Nature’s Machine is subconscious intent
Of all life that’s now living and all gone before.
It’s a psychokinesis done on a large scale.
It has gained much momentum so it will prevail.
My sole purpose for being here is to add more
To the whole of creation. That’s how it was meant.