It was gross and traumatic – all that I went through.
Memories still catch up with me no matter where
I decide is a good place to block them away.
Deep inside me where they don’t belong they will stay.
Am I worthy enough to relive my despair?
Is there some way that I can live my life anew?
In the present, the past is created by me.
To better wrap my head around this, I accept
That everything is here and now. What I can’t do
Is invalidate what I don’t like. It is true
That I must come from a neutral place. What is kept
That is of no use can be released completely.
If I’m putting too much emphasis on the pain,
I must know that I do have the power to choose
To unlock from the feelings that I don’t prefer.
Putting my focus elsewhere, relief will occur.
Otherwise I will be open to self-abuse.
Logic dictates the choice if I’ve not gone insane.
It really doesn’t matter what happens – only
What I do with what happens that determines how
I will deal with the future. Toxic memories
Linger as long as needed until my heart sees
Past my old belief systems. If I can allow
Some relief in this moment, much better I’ll be.