I believe self-reliance is something that I
Meant to learn here but didn’t. The time that remains
I must use expeditiously. Had I been born
Under different circumstances would the scorn
That I feel for myself yield to me any gains?
This question is ridiculous and I know why.

My focus needs adjusting. The lessons I need
To learn are automatic. I need not depend
However on pure happenstance. I’m free to choose
The time schedule. There isn’t any time to lose.
Years remaining accentuate the subtrahend
From the total. I now have to pick up some speed.

Had I lived in an orphanage I would have been
Self-reliant in no time but that’s not the way
It turned out for me. I can learn from my mistakes.
I can also accept life’s many lucky breaks
But in doing so I’ll take care not to betray
My own purpose. I’m taught this again and again.

I can begin to see my life not just as a
Series of accidents, failures, and huge mistakes.
Everything that has ever happened plays a part
In the dharma of my life. I take this to heart
When I think of the past and all of its heartaches.
In a state of self-soothing I’m willing to stay.