So there once was a half-bottomed woman named Sal
Which is Saline for long and just S for real short.
Were it Susan, Sandra, Samantha or Sarah
She’d be salty, still, like the sands of Sahara.
Sal had a good friend who would offer support
With salacious sharp shooting and sedate rationale.

Sal got along well with her surrogate pal.
Her name, by the way, was Miss Heidi Hoe.
They’d talk about all that would come to their minds…
Astute on what friends did with bedroom behinds
And about how to sharpen their seeds for the sow
One might guess one is Femme, the other Fatale.

One day Sal and Heidi got together to see
If they could stir trouble among a few friends
Who’d been sharing behinds with others than theirs.
These two loved to meddle in others’ affairs.
Did they serve up some nasty? Well, I guess that depends.
Their friends knew already; their love was quite free.

Now, as Sal and Heidi came to know this was true
Their scheme was deflated; their gas had been passed.
Heidi said to her friend with the voice of a man,
“No Hoe would come up with a Slipshod plan.
Next time I’ll do nasty.  You do things half-assed.
If we’d have done it my way, they’d be without clue!”

“Well, Heidi Hoe, I’m surprised at you!
First of all, had I known you could talk like a man
We’d have never been friends right from the start,”
Said Sal from the pit of her broken heart.
“I shall now call you Stan and concoct a new plan.
Work alone with your own; I can stir my own brew.”