There’s not one thing more hairy than one fat-assed bear
With the mind of an infant who looks like a clown.
He’s become a big problem whom I must engage
In some manner effective, albeit with rage.
He’s by now an attraction to folks from uptown.
They should pay me commission for all that I care.

Normally, I keep track of what takes place at home.
A buffoon of a house guest makes poor furniture.
A big furry fat butt in my window could sneeze
Then my whole house would reek of honey processed cheese.
Infected by calamity, I need a cure
From the toxic effect of the Screw Bear syndrome.

I can be rather nasty when I lose my cool
With this dim witted dipshit from La-la Lowland.
I must maintain composure with my dickhead guest
Even though, in my mind, he’s a two ended pest.
The best end, nonexistent, is what I can’t stand.
It would be hard to make this jerk feel like a fool.

I may sound a bit harsh. I’ve had all I can take
Of this bear’s belly bullshit. Help this creature needs
Of the kind I can’t offer if you get my drift.
What I need is someone with a rugged forklift
I have grown to hate much that on which the thing feeds.
I suppose things could get worse if he were a snake.