Horace the Humping Horror

TheMagicRealist.com

Do listen up, girls, there’s news I must tell.
It’s disgusting and quite disappointing to me.
That Horace guy whom the boss hired last week
Asked me out on a date with his caveman technique.
I agreed to sleep over just so I could see
If this fellow could work his machine very well.

It was tragic, dear ladies, don’t sleep with this man.
You will bounce like a basketball being not bound
To hitting the floor every once in a while.
The man is a menace; I guess that’s his style.
I was looking for love, but a humpbeast I found.
So avoid this asshole the best way you can.

I hadn’t faked orgasms much until now.
No need to do so had ever occurred.
But this jack hammer Horace, although he’s endowed,
Must lose the damned hard hat, for crying out loud!
We are not made of concrete, but he hasn’t heard.
Don’t ask him to slow down; he wouldn’t know how.

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