My Voice Is Killing Me

Hoplessness

For most intents and purposes, I have no voice.
So, what are these malfunctions that most people use
To not get to know others with something to say?
Folks must think I’m a woman or some child at play.
Whose intent and whose purpose would I dare refuse?
People don’t have to read me, and that is their choice.

Should Google Analytics tell me my work stinks?
That would be quite the rabbit hole leading to doom.
Losers will read losers seconds and then will leave.
Zombified in my bubble, I’m left to perceive
I am not of the living. My voice may entomb
My best shot at relating to how the world thinks.

I did not bother speaking until I was four.
People got damned excited: “What if he’s not well?”
I gave in, seeing that I was causing concern.
Ever since then, my loudest echo won’t return.
Don’t I have friends and family? NO! I’m In Hell.
And it’s good that I drown here to even some score.

Could I test those who know me? That does me no good.
If my therapist cares that this fucks with my soul
Then I should get some feedback.
I sound like a fool!
Does it take friends to know friends…? To me, that is cruel.
When I first started speaking, I had not a goal
But to just be acknowledged, as all people should.

Oh… I could keep on going. I have tons to say…
But, am I fucking crazy? It’s getting absurd.
If I fall in the forest, I must be a tree.
Not a tree that I know of will kindly read me.
Does this make me feel hopeful I’ll ever be heard?
Can I damn all humanity then fly away?

Leave a Reply

Your email address will not be published. Required fields are marked *