Tag Archive | weird

How To Catch An Alien

TheMagicRealist.com

Can one find what is lost when believing it’s not?
…Not a question one asks from the pit of one’s soul
To another just like him and part of the fold
Along crease in the earth plane since times before old.
Could it be cow violation, itself, is the goal?
…Perhaps something one shouldn’t ponder a lot.

There are plenty of ‘them’ – and there are some, for sure,
From dimensions more distant than we think we are
Yet with powers far greater performed before eyes
Whom are baffled by tricks that are done in our skies.
They’ve been watching this petri dish oft’ from afar.
Who’d have thought all along our Bullshit was the lure?

There’s no need for alarm due to our saving grace.
Our scapegoats, it seems, are our cattle that graze
In the fields clearly marked (We’ve been bill boarded too!)
The ET’s seem fond of this part of our zoo.
Too bad for the cows that they mistook our phrase.
We’ve become, in the cosmos, a strange marketplace.

Fifty Ways To Move Your Matter

TheMagicRealist.com

The problem is NOT inside your gut,” she says to me.
She nods her head as if she wants me to agree.
I’m backed up bucket loads; dear doctor, hear my plea.
There must be fifty ways to move your matter.

I’ve seen the X-rays; there’s no problem I can find.
Your labs are normal – no disease of any kind.”
I’m hooked on laxatives; they’re always on my mind.
There must be fifty ways to move your matter…
…Fifty ways to move your matter.

Take command of the can, Stan.
Don’t rattle your brain, Blaine.
You just have to believe, Steve,
That your body’s in charge.
Put your mind in a trance, Lance.
Let that snake do its dime dance.
Your resistance must go, Mo,
And then you will flow.”

Just slam dunk the can, Stan.
Prop up your feet, Pete.
Stuff is bound to deploy, Roy.
Nothing’s wrong; you will see.
It’s much like a boa, Noah,
In consort with good protozoa.
Brace yourself for a thrill, Bill,
You’ll be crapping with glee.”

Alas, how rather simple your advice does seem to me.
My ailing rubber hose is clogged with play dough; can’t you see?
I fear that I will reach the point of bowel catastrophe.
There must be fifty ways to move your matter.

My friend, I think another pill will do no good.
Your body’s putting up a fight, indeed as well it should.
When you let loose the shock will surely rock the neighborhood.
I know there’s fifty ways to move your matter…
…Fifty ways to move your matter….”

Characteristic Toxicity Index

TheMagicRealist.com

The dust of a world swirls about in a wind
As it forms into clusters and clumps of some mass.
Does dust ever settle? Most seemingly not.
It is breathed by both cosmos and nation a lot.
Out there, it forms stars with a lifetime of gas.
Down here, it wreaks havoc for all who have sinned.

Many indices rampant among human doing
Are helpful in giving our best selves a clue
As to just how much toxic dust made at our hands
Becomes real enough, dust mites make their demands.
Now, since they are the many, and we are the few,
If we don’t treat them right, then ourselves we are screwing.

The dust mites among us are noble indeed.
They work for dead skin cells; ‘ain’t nothing much cheaper!
They keep to themselves in the dust we create.
They live out their lives in nirvana-like state.
When it’s time to move on, they will greet the grim reaper.
Their CTI’s low, I think folks would concede.

Gravitational Wave

TheMagicRealist.com

Can black holes dance the jig?  Astrophysics says so.
Political science may say they cannot, yet
Sometimes it’s a tango performed on the air,
And others, a salsa consumed in much flair.
Whereas each school of thought knows the other’s a lot,
The War of the Stars generates what we know

Today as a wave front of tremendous power.
It ripples the minds of the populous swirl
Of the lesser, light beings caught up in the dance.
As above; so below,’ seems an apt circumstance.
Gravitational Wave sets a nation to twirl,
Keeping up day by day, and then hour by hour.

Some wise man ago knew that it would be proved…
All those massive events – some most grave and intense,
Do send out their vibes which can warp one’s space-time.
For big stars it’s ok, but for us, it’s a crime.
If I am caught red handed, I’ll plead self-defense.
Because proof has become us, we are then moved.

The Point Not Taken

TheMagicRealist.com

Two separate beings converged into one,
I stand astonished.  Which choice is clear to me?
My one self sees that its life someday is done.
My broader self knows that all has just begun.
I’m a soul in a briefcase hand carried most casually.

Though born to wonder… to share what I feel,
Sometimes I wander; I’m lost along the way.
To know what is not just as well as what is real
Is to know that one may have something to reveal.
But to share it, indeed, I’ll put off for another day.

I know by now that I’ve been here before
At this same juncture.  The sign before my face
Now reads rather oddly as life does at its core.
The next time around, will I even up the score?
The true self knows every journey is one of grace.

Wellbeing knows all who travel aground.
The signs are plenty and placed along each way.
If I just yield, then my bounty will abound.
I’ll know my worth, and I’ll speak without a sound.
Perhaps then some may hear what I have to say.

Honoring the Inner Being

TheMagicRealist.com

The roadway in life, though rugged and smooth
Can often get potholed when etched by the rains
So, the vehicle’s sturdy – this too the road bears.
It is built for abuse, and it knows no one cares.
‘Heavy rubber to road, people go to great pains
To move about swiftly with no need to soothe…

…The ‘Baby On Board’ who does need some attention…
The self’s inner child floating free at the wheel
Is aware of all motion by way of its wave.
In his dream, he knows that there’s no one to save.
If he wakes, the illusion becomes the real deal.
The ‘driver’ distracted then claims note of mention.

We don’t need to keep our eyes dead on the road.
If we do then we’ll drift into sleep like the child.
Focus is all that’s required to move.
Though blind we may seem we are locked in the groove
On the roadway of life where the baby has smiled
And has kept the race going in cruise control mode.

It’s nice to be hungry when eating a meal

It's nice to be hungry when eating a meal.

A blessing it is to give thanks for a meal
As to have what’s not tasty be tossed to the side.
Our gratitude is to the beast and the plant.
Their life force supporting our own they do grant.
When we’re young and with all those five senses applied
A bit may be eaten, much to mom’s appeal.

We may hunger for wealth; we may lust after glory
And that’s all well and good if what’s wanted’s not yet.
Getting juices to flowing means talking about
Whatever that makes one’s heart stand up and shout.
If done well, this attitude you’ll not regret
Because then you’ll have realized a well-rehearsed story.

I may fancy a salad of tossed verbal greens
From the Garden maintained on the plot of my soul.
I prepare and may share with no hint of abash.
Very little at hand ever goes in the trash.
And as time marches forward, my meal takes its toll
In pursuit of Digestion for all that that means.

A Virgo’s Signature Is Usually Legible

TheMagicRealist.comThe body must move just as well as the mind.
Idle hands and sheer boredom will lead me to ill.
If I lie in bed lazy past break of daylight
I’ll be hard pressed to craft a good dream for tonight.
I’ve a fondness for logic as well as free will.
With the mind as a map anything I can find.

I am prone to walk barefoot in my special wood.
The Path is the Mother Earth and the life force of green.
And as bright as its ending, its journey’s the way
Of divine light through living my life day by day.
The world trapped in a looking glass is what I’ve seen
So, much less than much more is what’s now understood.

A most practical one and adaptive to change,
I master the meek minuscule, mired and mundane.
If I have enough detail, I’m given great wealth.
I work best in the background; my credit is stealth.
As the blueness of sky and the freshness of rain
I’m at home in a world I can well rearrange.

A Fiddler’s Duck

TheMagicRealist.com

Who would care how a fiddler does with his thing
Whether out in plain view or behind the closed door?
If he did play the ‘organ’ we’d call him as such.
Other than strings, he won’t fiddle with much.
Though his thinging is bringing him love life galore
His heart lingers warm with a duck under wing.

A fluffy young ducky with wobbly feet –
A remnant of Easter and kids’ sticky fingers,
Detoured from tradition, this ducky’s in luck.
A kind hearted fiddler’s a bang worth a buck,
But his love for his duck is the one that will linger.
The thing peeps as he’s playing. He thinks that is neat.

You will rarely find his duck running amuck
As the critter is certain he’s found a good home.
He was gifted once, then was gifted some more.
He knows a duck giver’s no one to adore.
People getting these ducks give them free space to roam.
The question is: Who gives a fiddler’s duck?

Children of an Elder God

TheMagicRealist.com

My Supremeness! I must have dosed off for a spell.
What day of Creation…? Where did I leave off?
Seems the kids are begetting much faster than mold.
When I said, “Guys, be fruitful,” I guess you were sold
On spreading like wildfire spurred by the quaff
And running ‘round rampantly raising up hell.

Now that I did not create, little ones.
I remember that much, so ask nothing of Me
About sickness, or pain, or displeasure or doubt
Because love and abundance is what I’m about.
Go ahead and be fruity, but do it with glee.
You are here for a good time, My daughters and sons!

My grayness of beard and My whiteness of face
Is folly, dear children, conceived in your minds.
You may note that I’m single – a stay at home Dad.
‘Been around since forever, and more, I might add.
You may flourish and partake of fruit of all kinds.
The Garden’s for all folks no matter what race.

Correctness Politicale

Correctness Politicale

An Insurance Enabler am I – not a thief.
I procure valued merchandise usually by night.
When I stir up some trouble, the system improves.
In a big way, I’m why the economy moves.
You could call me a crook, but you wouldn’t be right.
Take care with your mind; I may snare your belief!

A Reliable Fictitian am I – not a liar.
The choiceness of wording’s the key to it all.
With mouth shot from the hip, too much truth is revealed
So a blither of bombast does make a good shield.
The slicker words are the more minds that will fall
In line with my thinking. There’s no goal that’s higher.

Of the many of genre of funny there are
Political Correctness does tickle me most.
No humor so dry in its gross understatement
Does cause of the heart, the mind’s sole re-abatement.
Every con man’s an artist with hot air to boast.
A silver tonged devil’s the winner by far.

Mirror, Mirror

Mirror, Mirror

You’re a kettle, my friend; you’re much too judgmental,”
Pot says to its partner for blowing off steam.
If I were you (and I am, by the way),
I’d replenish myself for a discrete display
So as not to endanger my self-esteem.
The problem with you is you’re tough and I’m gentle
.”

Well, excuse me, you pot; I have no beef with you.
I’ve been on the stove quite a few times by now.
I have enough sense to know when to get off
My letting off steam is not something to scoff.
You may ask me to quit, but I wouldn’t know how.
So, the way that I am comes not out of the blue
.”

“OK then, container; I’ll see it your way.
We have ways to respond to the guidance within.
You whistle a tune from the pit of your heart.
I keep heat contained. We’re an integral part
Of the puzzle of contrast wherein we begin
Aligning our preferences for things to say.”

Mister Misfit’s Meddle-hood

TheMagicRealist.com

Hi, Neighbor, there’s something you should ought to know.
I’m a free man on free land that happens to be
Next to your place and your space, and that’s just a fact.
To suck up to you is NOT part of my act.
The cause for your judgement I can’t really see
And never quite could since a long time ago.

I know curiosity’s wholesome exchange
Among people who know not the critical heart.
All you TV-like minds with your nose up my ass,
If it’s boredom you’re fighting, I’ll pass you some gas.
Your stares and your psychic probes take me apart
And reconstruct someone who’s utterly strange.

Is it just how life forces a weirdo like me
To act as a normal one cast in a mold?
Keep your ‘healthy smile’ healthy and out of my face.
Creatures showing their teeth is aggression’s embrace.
Judge Ye Not,” I hear echoed from peoples of old.
Stay out of my business. Turn on your TV.

I tried learning Spanish… to speak it and such.
Yet even a speaker of English does see
My speaking (thus knowing) as nothing to take
As worthwhile and worthy of goodness’ sake.
There’s a Stick in my craw. That, I’m sure all agree.
If I don’t vent, I am sore to the touch.

A Goal Is an Excuse to Enjoy the Journey

 

A Goal Is an Excuse to Enjoy the JourneyA Love Supreme is one blessed by God’s Hand.
It’s a dream one must focus on, knowing just how.
If it happens one doesn’t (though never the case),
The desire alone knows wellbeing and grace.
I’m alone, as I like it.  I’m justified, now,
To blame bad behavior on subconscious plan.

All you lovers out there… I’m not jealous of you
For the love you are, wholesomely balanced and sane.
The illusion of sadness I’ll lose in due time.
My job, until then, is to make feelings rhyme
Perhaps for the sum of us who cain’t talk plain
Or just for the deeply disordinant few.

The calendar year’s a reminder again
Like a clockwork of greenery tunneled in love.
A leisurely stroll hand in hand with oneself
Might just make one believe he’s a lost Santa’s elf.
Who would put a damned rose in a fisted glove?
Someone rip snorting desperate to make a new friend?

Doubting Thomas

TheMagicRealist.com

Yo, Thomas, get in here! Don’t chill in the yard.
I’ve something intended for your doubting ass.
I know well why you’re out there. It’s obvious, dude.
You’re a skeptic. Get over it, and don’t be so rude.
If I ran a Christ school you’d be ass of the class.
Stick your hand in my side, and don’t think very hard.

Why my Father made you so Dad blasted thick
Is a mystery still. I must ask Him some day,
Hey Dad, if you make a man dumber than dirt,
Does he always become, then, a doubting expert?”
Perhaps not worth asking… I will anyway.
My love for you, bro, is more solid than brick.

When I told your behind I would rise from the dead
Did you think I was smoking some weirded out wick?
My Lord and my God,” you say there on your knees.
I can see your believing’s no act to appease…
Well, Tom, that’s terrific; don’t lay it on thick.
We don’t do Shakespeare. We do gospel instead.

Bastions of Billowing Blitheracy

TheMagicRealist.com

Today I failed an ill-blitheracy exam.
It was proctored by people I meet every day.
It seems I can’t blither the way others do.
Lord knows I’ve tried ‘til my pride turned pale blue
There’s nothing that’s said that is new anyway.
I don’t make normal sense; that’s the way that I am.

Were it hard to speak freely as most do with ease
There would be not a word from my tongue or the pen.
There’d be silence within all the chatter around.
My own little bubble… Oh, how sweet the sound
That saved a rich resonant wretch once again
From casting his own sense of worth to the breeze.

The want ads are screaming, “Dear blitherists please
Take note that we hire most all of the time.
If you can speak nonsense and keep a straight face,
You’re Hired! We value a seasoned nut case.
We don’t even care if you make lousy rhyme.
The world is your oyster. All nature agrees
.”

Fine Cheese Cutlery

TheMagicRealist.com

It Seems I’m a cutlery connoisseur
Carved from the standard manifold cloth.
I know, ‘parts is parts’ and it’s sexist and crude.
I ain’t here to please no one; my truth ain’t subdued.
Some good hawty cutter’s the flame to my moth
As it stiffens its wing and takes flight from what’s pure.

Cups and saucers are good; I will take them or leave them.
They’re not part and parcel to good table setting.
But a lady with cutter makes my flatware to stutter.
It will slice through my man mind as if it were butter.
I’m the butt butler’s cuddle no cutler’s regretting.
A girl with big bounteous behind is a gem.

It is locked in my jeans to track walking machines
That jiggle that butt from one side to the other.
Such cutter with grip handle hub double wide…
Were my gender reversed, I would wear that with pride!
There are still many things I would not tell my mother.
Spend some time in the Kitchen by whatever means.

diculous dabble

TheMagicRealist.com

Is it really true that the light will go off
When the door to the frigid air is closed?
There’s no eye to perceive it behind that thick wall.
The veggies and fruits could be having a ball.
The meat and the bread might have long since proposed
Unbeknownst to left over beef stroganoff.

Dear Plato and Socrates, this one’s for you.
The chicken and egg thing I’ve got figured out.
But lights behind closed doors must play by the rules
Because if they don’t, we’d be taken for fools.
Equal Justice! That’s what I’m talking about.
The law of the loony’s not meant for the few.

That light should be off. There’s a switch that’s depressed
When e’er the door closes; that saddens it so.
But that throw with a pole could be putting on airs.
In cahoots with the crisper drawers for whom it cares,
The acts of the door moves the pole to and fro
But that doesn’t mean the damned thing ain’t possessed.

I’ll make sure that light’s off; I’ll just drill through the side.
With a whisper jet bit in a silencer chuck
Those goods and their cronies won’t suspect a thing.
I’ll catch them red handed; my heart will then sing.
And from then on, I’ll have much better luck
In convincing the stove and the sink that they lied. 

Head In The Cloud

TheMagicRealist.com

The brain is not some knowledge container
Nor is it the place ‘the observer’ resides.
The self, in its whole,’s a magnetic transceiver.
In the frequency tuned, we become a believer.
We get vibes and send them; they serve as our guides
To feeling our best, and that’s a no-brainer!

Every man needs a place he can stick his hard head,
And some of us aren’t too particular where
Good head should be stored for a later use.
If my files are corrupted, perhaps I’ve let loose
To the point that I’ve drawn someone’s disdainful stare.
Were my head claustrophobic could it be misled?

State of the arted technology, now,
A step up from the web-based email addressed,
Allows me to keep my head safe in the cloud.
It’s much fresher up there, for crying out loud!,”
Quoth an inner self tickled… nonsensically blessed.
I play with myself here because I best know how.

I Need Ya Ta Fixer, Doc!

Gitter Dunn DundeeI need ya ta fixer, doc!
‘Ain’t been herself purt-neer half a week now
I know you’re the feller to git the job done.
‘Tried to fixer myself. She ain’t improved none.
I cain’t even gitter to milk the cow,
And, she’s ornery ‘round the clock!

 I really need ya ta checker out.
Every month, ‘bout this time, her air filter gits clogged…
She starts talkin’ ‘bout yoga and goin’ to school.
If she gotter some schoolin’, I’d look like a fool!
Other than that, many good miles been logged.
‘Cain’t be the moon – just hormones, no doubt.

 Still, I cain’t have them critters makiner silly.
I’d check under the hood. Do you know what to do?
Ain’t ya got some shot that’ll chase ‘em away?
‘Cause iffin ya do, that would sure make my day.
Can you giver a pill that’ll maker like new?
She’s a tough old gal. For a wife, she’s a dilly.

 Any other time, she’s a’workin’ just fine…
‘Ain’t complainin’ or cryin’ or throwin’ a fit.
The kids and the dog gits along with her good.
She mops and cleans and folds the clothes like she should.
She’s a hog in the sack, but she snores quite a bit.
Her warranty’s good for as long as she’s mine.