Predetermined is the exact moment of death.
I can’t leave this earth one single moment before
Nor an instant beyond the time I’m allotted.
What is not set how that I will end up dead.
I must know my surrender is the open door
Through which ego is deprived of its dying breath.
That which I know as myself and separate from
All else that must exist must be nonexistent.
It is only then that knowingness can come through.
To give up my person is a hard thing to do.
I survive by the providence of blind consent
Of forces of divinity. I must succumb.
My persona is not the essence and the source
Of affirmative consciousness given as me.
Rather it’s a well-constructed survival tool.
It behaves well mostly, but it can act the fool –
Something my true self tolerates to some degree,
For it knows not of judgment or will to enforce.
Ego death is the only death that can occur
Since the true self is selfless in every respect.
When it dies, the ego’s agony is but brief.
What is left after grieving is profound relief
From the weight of existence – the need to protect
My assumed personality and saboteur.