Since childhood I’ve been learning and relearning things
That others get the first time and with greater ease.
I don’t find it a problem until I’m perceived
And am judged for the way I am. Then I am peeved.
But I’ve been a fine bastard with my psychoses
And this self-observation – my ego it stings.
It’s and ongoing process. Self-discovery
Grows from learning of this world and all of its ways.
But the self that is studied is of the body
And the thing that we know as personality
Yet the more subtle essence for most of us stays
In the depths of the psyche concealed completely.
I would study myself, but just what does that mean?
I must ask myself questions that puzzle me so.
Is myself the perceiver? Or am I that who
Perceives he who’s perceiving? If I follow through
With this interrogation, what truth could I know?
…Consciousness is recursive and clearly obscene?
The mind is a fifth limb. It will grasp and hold on
To the things it perceives. I know that it’s a tool.
It itself is perceived by that which is unnamed.
The true self is a mirror wherein all is framed
In its pureness of being. I’ll take that as cool.
It’s the source of all selfhood from which life is drawn.