Once there was an old man who did not feel worthy
Of the slightest of good luck or the smallest chance
Of a blessing because of a mountain of guilt.
Psychological walls over time had been built.
Those whom I’ve harmed should know that I’m not in a trance
But my excuse is absolute insanity.
I’m in pain. The body hurts. I’m coming of age
Where I see things more clearly than ever before.
I find myself pre-living a full life review.
How can my thoughts be positive? What can I do
To feel better? Is there something I can explore
That will help me to not be a fool upon stage?
A complete separation from the emotion
Of the pain is accomplished through conscious intent.
I can manifest general feelings of hope.
If I get to remain here I’m willing to cope
With the mess that I’ve made and to somehow repent
For a life that was mostly spent in delusion.
In the face of what is unwanted I can still
Feel the goodness life offers, and I might as well.
Punishing myself for what I’ve done can’t be done.
Once I have wrapped my heart around this I’ve begun
To climb out of my peculiar version of hell.
Making this story right shall relieve me of ill.