When I’m so damned determined to get the job done,
I’m not in the best place for receiving guidance.
The momentum keeps building until I express
Negative emotion. I prevail, nonetheless,
Because I feel I have to. If given the chance,
I would be a much different kind of person.
I am not a mean fellow, nor am I a fool,
But, at times, my behavior is manic indeed.
If I catch myself soon enough, I’ll count to ten.
That may work for the moment, but time and again,
I’m not right with myself. Will I ever succeed
At becoming someone others consider cool?
I have choices. My life is not in a tailspin.
I can get out ahead of most things by clearing
My mind of all its clutter through meditation,
Then I will get along better with everyone.
Can I still be determined without appearing
Like the devil? I must find the answer within.
I can’t improve reality. I can only
Soothe myself into a state of nonresistance.
I can’t beat up on myself for the way I feel.
I create everything I want to become real.
I can daydream about my life experience
And decide for myself how everything should be.