Tag Archive | self

Evolution Through Disruption

All the worst of my problems alone I create
Through the master controller of identity
On the personal level. I’m doomed to attack.
For the rest of my life here I’ll just watch my back.
Evil doesn’t become me, but insanity
Seems to be what consumes me and authors my fate.

The abstracted part of me – the self not made whole –
Is only form identity. It’s not the same
As the timeless consciousness that I am truly.
Everyone is that essence with none else to be.
With this form I am subject to sorrow and shame
That I feel often times to the depths of my soul.

Oneself can’t be perfected. It’s like whack-a-mole.
Once things are put to order, something falls apart.
Never ending the struggle it is to portray
A complete living model. And I must obey
The aspect of disruption. It strengthens my heart
Just to know of the sick truth I cannot control.

Evolution of consciousness cannot take place
In a world picture perfect with no suffering.
One would dance on the surface of life and not grow.
Compassion and deep insights one can’t come to know.
Disruption in my life is a wonderful thing
If I can learn to trust it as God’s loving grace.

The Dream Of Life

May30

Awaken from illusion? Which one would that be?
Just as black implies white, self implies the other.
Death brings meaning to life. This is fundamental.
Not a stranger am I in this place where I dwell.
Believing my existence was meant to occur,
Nothing short of a death wish can awaken me.

People are going crazy as far as I see
Or perhaps it’s been ongoing since time began.
We were all meant to be here. If this isn’t true
Then we might as well give up. The grand party zoo
Is far off the deep end and akin to the klan.
Colors true are most vibrant when one is dream free.

Nine eleven was done by the Arabs, so we
Came together as one nation, yet what happened
On the sixth of the first month is nothing to fear.
Perpetrated by white men, it’s perfectly clear
That one chunk of the nation cannot comprehend
What it means to be human most regrettably.

If I dreamed many lifetimes, each of many years,
And I could author all of them as I desire,
I would want for surprise after so many nights.
I would ask for a gamble so sometimes life bites.
God comes into each person that growth may transpire.
If that presence is ignored I nurture my fears.

The Process Of Awakening

Apr20

Falling back into old patterns is not to err,
For it’s part of The Process Of Awakening
To awareness transcendent and truly sublime.
I’m aware of the negative things of this time,
But to see far beyond it I’d do anything.
Sometimes processes take time. I’ll find it to spare.

It can come on spontaneously like a blast –
A volcanic eruption from pressure intense –
Or a gradual sputter, infrequent yet sure
As it burns away ego which does but obscure
The bright light of the true self – the one that makes sense
No matter what is happening in life’s contrast.

There are two views divergent. One is: Do Nothing.
Natural is the process awareness fulfills
At its own pace without interfering at all.
The other is: Do Something, but answer the call
With spiritual action, the kind that instills
Faithfulness through the process. Much good this will bring.

Therein lies the best setpoint. The blend of the two
Means that life force within me propels my intent
To engage in spiritual practices that
Are quite easy to do once I know the format.
Such hard work is a pleasure and is time well spent.
What has been and is happening has much value.

Choice

Apr9

I don’t know where my hiccup decisions come from.
They’re like guttural spasms. The choking of air
Is the constant anxiety. Thinking things through
Only adds more confusion. Whatever I do,
Worrying about worrying while in despair
Is a blend of psychosis that renders me numb.

In my mind there’s a feedback loop endlessly closed.
Thoughts that speed as if race cars are always the same.
Did I take enough time to consider every
Possible thing I should have and confidently?
In a dither of doubt no relief can I claim.
Choices are not decisions. My truth is exposed.

There are infinite data – too much to take in
For any given situation that occurs.
Deciding on an issue by using the mind
May result in catastrophe for my behind.
Doing just as I please is what this self prefers.
Can there be a solution that won’t mete my sin?

Mystical states of consciousness can be achieved
Where there is a natural lightness of feeling
Difficulty is effortless. Life is a breeze.
I’m not at that place yet, but I feel more at ease.
I’m a cloud not misshapen… a God awful thing
That is badly designed. In that, I am relieved.

The awareness state I’m conditioned to resist.
The repugnant sensation of discord creates
Sensory basis for the ego to appear
To convince me that no state is better than fear.
We are not helpless creatures consumed by our fates.
Intuition is something that can’t be dismissed.

Changing Conditioned Behavior

Dec30

Momentum and inertia are always at play.
Streams of energy sluggish flow with those of speed
Deep within and throughout me. Why can’t I let go
Of behaviors unwanted so that I can grow?
Gravity of life cripples my will to succeed.
Is an answer forthcoming? Please show me the way.

My own habits deep seated over many years
Coalesce into patterns that build the ego.
So to change them quickly is not easy to do.
I need proper guidance so that I may get through
The resistance I’ve crafted. What I need to know
Doesn’t move me sufficiently due to my fears.

The content caterpillar resistant to change
Wants to stay firmly earthbound, but nature rebels.
The destruction of old ways must be absolute
So the tree of becoming can bear fresher fruit.
When a true crisis happens, it truly compels
Abrupt emergent action. Why isn’t this strange?

The ego fears its own death and wants to hang on.
Knowing not that it cannot completely dissolve,
It may generate panic and drama to stay
In a bad situation deluged in dismay.
Not by force but by wisdom I then shall evolve
Though antics of the ego will never be gone.

Do I Need A Container?

Nov12

Is Defining My Life Force a worthwhile pursuit?
Or should I remain timid regarding nonsense
As is seen by this busy world? Is what I do
Of a value consistent with right points of view?
Silly world, I am childlike! My faith is immense.
Self-discovery for me is an absolute.

Do I need to be guided while I’m on my way
To wherever my spirit has pointed my heart?
We all are flesh containers. Those older than I
May be of some assistance. But I can get by
On the infinite wisdom of which I’m a part.
I must know who I am or I’ll surely decay.

Within me there is substance. It and I are one.
This complex earthy medium makes a fine tool
That I’ll use to explore to my true heart’s content.
There is nothing more meaningful than good time spent
Looking inward. It increases my psychic fuel.
There’s no end to my searching as long as it’s fun.

The Magic Realist

A Poet's Path

Tag Archive | self