Tag Archive | procrastination

Self-Esteem And Oneself

Darkness Of Spirit

Am I confident in who I am or am I
Struggling seeing worth as it pertains to me?
This affects how I think and feel and how I act.
I feel there’s nothing left in this world to distract
Me from myself and everyone. All that I see
Is sorrow sorely strangled. I’ve no alibi.

If I could say I’m sorry to those I have harmed
I might feel a lot better, though this won’t occur.
My darkness has a thickness outside of pitch-black.
Along with many other things, courage I lack
And a clue as to what to do. I would prefer
That the cross hairs of circumstance are not alarmed.

Guilt encrusted avoidance and isolation
Are to my full advantage. Passively I wait
For something bad to happen. I figure I’m due
For the next indiscriminate turn of the screw
All the time. Where the hell is there time to create?
If I keep feeling this way, indeed I’ll have none.

I need positive feedback to somehow negate
Negative reinforcement that reverberates
Through my entire being. Perceived worthlessness
Will undo me in due time. I made a big mess
Of my life. I’m in fear of what karma awaits.
I’m aware of but reject the hell I create.

Losing Laziness

The Absolute Innocence of Relaxation

To the tune of postponement, the things I will do
That I don’t much like doing lie languid in lack
Of my utmost attention. Don’t mention those things.
Sheer paralysis of the will is what it brings.
I would be fit to fist fuck were I given flack.
Such things are mine to put off as guilt may accrue.

Why the hell am I doing things I clearly hate?
Will I get something for it? Is it of some worth?
Who will build me a statue? All in unison
Shout it out through a bullhorn. Not much have I done.
Were I a human doing since my ancient birth
Instead of just a being, would my life be great?

There is nothing to get here but our daily rest.
We live life in a manner intense and profound
Or we don’t. In the end, what will happen to all
Is a burning or burying. What will enthrall
And excite me can keep me from running aground.
My preponement of such things ensures I am blessed.