I so want to be special. It’s my biggest dream…
To have everyone point to me and know that I
Am unique and outstanding. It’s an addiction
That I have. But is it something that I should shun?
Such a mindset disturbs me, and I wonder why.
Does it have something to do with my self-esteem?
When I socialize, instead of my enjoying
The experience, I want popularity.
I must be the most likeable one in the crowd.
I like hearing people saying my name out loud.
I’m ecstatic when people find favor with me.
I feel more alive when embraced by that feeling.
How do I let go of the temptation to be
Better than everyone else wherever I am?
What is at the heart of all this? Relationship
With my innermost being. I keep a firm grip
On my soul. It’s not for others to give a damn
How much of my most inner self agrees with me.
I’ll let myself feel what is best. I can adjust
And fine tune this a little. I’m not wrongheaded.
It’s not something that I must ‘get over,’ indeed
When I am feeling special my spirit is freed.
I am ever delighted in what’s just ahead.
There’s no one more than myself who I need to trust.