Utterly catastrophic my whole life has been.
Now that I’m in my seventies I realize
That I have been a tyrant – selfishly insane.
Silently I’m remorseful. I suffer the pain
Of a qualified loser. In most people’s eyes
I am one who the entire world should chagrin.
How I got this way at this point matters not much.
Little time I may have left to make it all right
If that is even possible. I have cut ties
For this lifetime. I know that was not very wise
Even for an old bastard. I’ve no appetite
For connecting, relating, confiding, and such.
But I do know how to express myself with ease.
It’s the single most significant way for me
To make sense of my troubled self and to explore
Possible ways to monetize what I adore.
With some consciousness my life could turn out to be
Something that has some meaning that others may seize.
There will be other lifetimes. Opportunities
I will find most abundant. My sorrow ignites
The torch of my continuing this existence.
There’s no other option. I have some common sense.
The only thing to do is to focus my sights
On eternal redemption amid my feces.