Tag Archive | humorous

These Bowels

Entrails Exposed

These Bowels toil through the night just for you.
These times are hard enough to get through.
The onus on us is no urgent fuss.
You give us your trust, and we take it. We don’t fake it.

These Bowels Are Moving
These Bowels have seen a lot of waste
And they’re always gonna see another load when it comes from you.

These Bowels Are Moving
These Bowels have seen a lot of waste
And they’re always gonna see another load when it comes from you.

These Bowels Are Moving
These Bowels have seen a lot of waste
And they’re always gonna see another load when it comes from you.

These Bowels are working in support to your cause
This work we do with no thought to what was.
We do this for free. We hope you can see
That you’re worth it. Why not mirth it?

Heart Of The Prankster

Packaged Humor

With a mind for amusement conceived of the heart
And a fun loving spirit, The Prankster appears
To bring rip roaring laughter with ample surprise.
When we’re tickled from inside our spirits will rise.
It’s the job of The Prankster to mitigate fears.
None are fit but the joyful to play such a part.

Those with energy output more powerful than
That of most others have no way to keep it in.
As they peak in excitement, they want to spread fun
In discrete foolish packages smartly home spun.
Yet the trouble they instigate can’t be a sin
So they just get away with it because they can.

Put your faith in The Prankster and know that there’s hope
In the darkest of times when there’s nothing in sight
But mass death and calamity as its response
Instigated by pure greed and shy of nuance.
We have scum among leaders to deal with this plight.
While it’s on, don’t bend over if you drop your soap!

Mood Ride

Usual Benefit In Conflict

Swinging is the momentum prescribed by the mood.
It provides ample solace and blends out the flow
Of wide-ranging emotions and nature’s relief
From a world I can’t face now. I have firm belief
That refreshing my consciousness helps me to grow.
Until I’m feeling right again, I must seclude.

Some days can be a rough ride. Others… not so much.
Sensitive to the obvious and subtle things,
I reflect on events as they’re damned to occur
While I’m freed from exalting the life I prefer.
What a bright new horizon aloneness time brings!
What my spirit requires is that I keep in touch.

Seeking total detachment is hardly worthwhile
Since I am here to live life while fully awake
To partake of the drama as part of each day.
My solution is functional. It helps me stay
Somewhat more in alignment. The ride that I take
Gives me instant contentment and often a smile.

Livid Liver Of Life

Arrhythmic Logic

Livid Liver Divided By One Over Life
Equals some kind of symbol. But don’t ask me now
What the hell it might stand for. It’s damned to make sense
If my wrath be the dearth of me. I’ll take offense
To any mathematics who cannot allow
The lost least of life livers who linger in strife.

So, I’m pissed off a lot. Any liver would be
In full-on agitation as numbers prevail
In the lives of all livers so lives loom in lack.
I’m so livid I’m prone to a liver attack.
My inverse multiplicative is doomed to fail
If I don’t get an answer immediately.

I’m an arrogant liver and often too proud
Of a life I’ve imagined but haven’t lived out.
Must I then mind the meaning of what I have lost?
When my math doesn’t add up who suffers the cost?
I intuit without any semblance of doubt
That my anger won’t fix things. That can’t be allowed.

Wrapped Up

Welcome Home!

There are needs of the many. To those I must serve.
In performance of duty my loyalty lies
On the path I have chosen. For that I am proud.
Does it mean that my precious one I’ll not enshroud
With unending devotion? The look in her eyes
After long times away is what I do preserve.

It feels warm like a blanket… At least it once did.
Yet I still get that closeness from others like me
Who have fallen in love with impossible dreams
And from those whom I care for. Indeed my heart beams
With the strength of fulfillment. My firm memory
Of Good Order and Discipline cannot be hid.

I believe in my country. Its flag is my shield.
It protects my democracy more than is seen
On its battle-scarred surface and once virgin womb.
My commander in chief is a deal made with doom
So maintaining morale is most vital hygiene
As the soul of a nation is yet to be healed.

Free-Spirited Loving

Sultry Social

Human love is expressive of passion consumed
In the heat of an instant that time can’t erode.
Some become nonjudgmental in their attitude
Toward uncommon encounters and how they are viewed.
We must all tread in truth and let that be the code
For our conscious behaviors. Can this be presumed?

Fascinating experiences to enjoy
Are the primary focus. Excitement is fuel
For the engine that nature has formed into soul.
When the mood is high-flying, there’s no other goal
But to flow with the beast’s private social whirlpool.
Elsewhere is but the animal one can’t employ.

More eccentric than frivolous, wavelengths of love,
Interspersed through the spectrum of visible light
That are not seen through common eyes, may integrate
With a resonant frequency to cancel hate
For a sweet sultry moment that could last all night.
There is nothing but fear that one can fall short of.

False Optimism

The Devil Beware

This is not quite the best time to quit my day job.
I could learn a few lessons as time is my friend.
Must I learn how to tune life if I want to play
With all fresh water fishermen? What a fine day
To make hay of confusion! I need not depend
On a firm grip on anything but a doorknob.

I don’t seem to be practical, but that’s ok.
Luck I keep in spare pockets for times such as these.
Quantum physics explains things pure logic cannot
And provides good excuses for times that are fraught
With an intrinsic weirdness that weakens the knees.
Though my hope is unfounded, I’ll have it my way.

Not a soul needs to worry. I think I’ll do fine.
The outlook is outstanding. My freak is full on.
The whole gig is nocturnal – from dusk unto dusk.
If I seem inefficient and all the while brusk
It’s because of the real threat of impending dawn.
I work best in the dark where my talent can shine.

Be Kind To The Toilet

Toilet Temperament

Do be kind to your toilet. It takes tons of crap.
Though that’s what it was made for, it wants for a break
From the forceful expulsion of vile human waste
From a family of asses whose bowels are fast paced.
It performs well its duty, but make no mistake
What it has to put up with feels much like a trap.

Connected to the sewer or some funky place,
What is gulped down is passed with each masterful flush.
Never mind where that stuff goes. It’s clear out of sight.
Vanishing if by magic, it only seems right.
Whether solid and serpentine or just a mush
It will make it go bye bye. What provident grace!

That old bowl needs a cleaning once every short while.
It informs you of that in its own special ways.
But it needs more attention. It likes to stay clean.
It wants someone to talk to. On whom can it lean?
So, converse with your toilet and give it due praise.
It will bless you profusely and keep a big smile.

Why Forefathers Wore Wigs

Declaration of Decoration

Prim and proper forefathers were called the big wigs
At a time when men’s fashion included much hair.
Only rich people owned them in the beginning
But the trend became widespread. It soon was a Thing.
No man would be caught bald. People would laugh and stare
And they’d ruthlessly cast one in league with the pigs.

But how wigs became popular is peculiar.
Mothers of odd inventions are essence of same.
Most of Europe was plagued by a nasty disease
In the late fifteen hundreds. Through analyses
Of the symptoms most prevalent they put the blame
On a thing we call syphilis. My, how bizarre!

The significant outcomes are chronic hair loss,
Funky issues with head sores and persistent lice
From the wig made of goat and horse hair. So they would
Powder them with some lavender so they’d smell good.
The founders of our nation, in great sacrifice,
Have become honored headstones who gather no moss.

Every Good Snowball’s Chance

Winter Doodle

Liquid, solid and steam are the natural forms
Water makes its appearance. The snowball is one
Most aesthetic in nature. Formed into a sphere
By the hands become magic in mood cavalier,
One considers the snowball the essence of fun
Even when in the midst of aggressive snowstorms.

Every chance that a snowball could hope to attain
Completely by its own merits should not include
Being cast like a bad human soul into hell.
Idioms of psychosis in common hearts dwell.
To me, such an analogy seems awfully crude
Because it’s not uplifting; therefore, there’s no gain.

But then I’m not complaining. This world is just fine.
I enjoy frosty winters. The child within me
Wants to find other children and play in the snow.
I won’t disrespect snowballs. They were made to throw…
Not to mingle with thought forms of catastrophe.
All our chances are fluid, as if by design.

Free Range Peeves

Surprise Annoyances

Peeves are lousy as pets. How they get on one’s nerves
At most inopportune moments just to say, “Hi.
We’re so glad that you chose us. We won’t go away.
We’re programmed to disrupt you throughout your long day.”

I regret that I have them. They oft make me cry.
It’s a tough situation that no one deserves.

So, I bought some new storage – a network cloud drive.
Now that it’s been connected, it wants to make friends.
Did I ask for a friend, yet one without a soul?
Any app that gets friendly just wants to control
More than I had intended. To what selfish ends
Does it give me such grief? I’ve no will to survive.

And these damned pets are free range. They migrate about
In a haphazard manner. They up and go pop.
Like most arrogant weasels, they act on their own.
If I click on the app, nothing useful is shown.
If I cannot disown them, should I try to stop
Their aggressive behavior? I struggle with doubt.

Pet Peeves are a fine nuisance. All should be called strays.
The worst ones that are free range deserve the most care.
When a seller’s fine product continues to sell,
Too Much Mouth has the helper that may function well.
But you screw with desktop icons. How would you dare?
It is best that I end here. I haven’t much praise.

Animated Suspension )Versus Vice Versa(

Existence Between States

Suspended Animation, as most of us know,
Is a state where activity comes to a halt
Or is made to creep slowly, as if by some force
Totally supernatural. What is the source
Of this lame definition? Indeed, who’s at fault?
There’s a whole lot more to this, as I will now show.

One must first find the inverse. Though non sequitur
In its mirror reflection, trust that it makes sense
As a logical theory, just as is with math.
Seeing from this perspective is surely the path
To cosmic understanding and wisdom immense.
Both worlds are parts of one so that growth may occur.

We’re Suspended in life here and Animated
In a way that is cumbersome. Bodies are weak.
But when we move to Spirit, Suspension must cease.
We’re no longer in motion. The Spirit knows peace.
Animation, in Spirit, is much too oblique
For our flesh minds to fathom because they’re flesh fed.

Animated Suspension is that other state
Where we are when we leave here – this thing we call earth.
We’re Suspended from life here to Animate there
With an infinite freedom and life without care
‘Til it comes time we’re moved to consider rebirth.
Neither world is the better. In both we create.

Toward The Latter Day Thaterday

Time And Innocence

I would call this day that day were it not today.
If I knew not the names of the days of the week,
I’d be free as the daylight. Times savings, for me,
Is to strict an absurdity. If I could see
Why daylight requires saving, would I be unique?
I know no one who knows why… just what others say.

And what they say is nonsense. Commerce is the cause
For the shifting of daytime so people spend more?
Now, two thirds of the year we live in fantasy
Somewhat anchored in nature and reality.
Between daylight and nighttime evolves civil war.
I’ve become too accustomed to knowing what was.

I’ll look forward to Thaterday. Should it arrive
In one third of a sudden, would it be too soon?
Daylight borrowed at no interest is obscene.
If we trick mother nature, we can’t call her mean.
Thaterday, once invented, no one will impugn.
We shall treat time with honor, as if we were five.

Specific Non-Locations

Nebulous Space

Where Am I, Since I know very well that I am
And don’t mind what I’m made of? It’s just good to grow.
This haystack of a cosmos, to needles like me,
Is too much to imagine… that is, completely.
I’ve heard tell of a ‘pale blue dot’ from a fellow
With a heart born of wisdom. But who gives a damn.

If I wanted someone from a galaxy far
To come visit my world, to direct that one would
Present me with a problem. I know not where I
Am located. Such ignorance can make one shy.
Could a wise postal physicist do me some good
In addressing where I am, or is this bizarre?

Non-Locations Specific are scattered throughout
The complex of the cosmos. Our travel is done
By the means of vibration and focus of mind.
Dimensions of existence to which we’re assigned
Provide lessons for living. Sometimes they are fun.
I’m within an earth schoolhouse. Of this there’s no doubt.

Ha Mun Of Tu Tank

Levity

The Ha Mun of Tu Tank would have no one to thank
For not being left tankless upon his demise
Were it not for his subjects, firm in their belief
That a king should be tankful and free of all grief
That he might not have at least two tanks when he dies.
When we speak of this old one, we need to be frank.

If an army has two tanks instead of just one,
One can know that it’s better, for double the strength
It will have for offending and for its defense.
The good diver with two tanks uses common sense.
That’s why old kings of Egypt went to any length
To ensure tanks were plentiful instead of none.

So, Ha Mun was of Tu Tank and could have had three
But he wouldn’t be greedy, for that would imply
That he could take them with him into the beyond.
With the contents of tanks not a soul can abscond.
We can see that the number of tanks we deny
Is the key to contentment and freedom to be.

TidyHoe

Marketing Field

Does one keep the hoe tidy when it’s not in use
In the dark, deranged desert beneath the full moon?
Can the crust of dirt gathered that can’t be knocked off
Be at least submersed silly? What cure do I scoff
Since my own virgin land is a cluttered sand dune?
I will stick the damned hoe in a bottle of juice!

TidyHoes can be made so soon after they’re done
With the business of making their marks on the fields
Of our human potentials by soaking them clean
In a solvent solution to place in a scene
Near a tall standing genie whose providence yields
The insurance that’s needed to brighten the sun.

Where is TidyHoe found? Can I order online?
Or perhaps there’s a big supply kept underground?
It’s produced in abundance in places unknown
Then it’s beamed to this sense forsaken Twilight Zone.
Due respect for the tidy can always be found
And sometimes when it’s given, life seems to align.

With Eyes Off The Perpend

Wall of Analysis

Parallelness is tricked as it can perpendict
At no other locations than ninety degrees.
So to stay parallel can be done fairly well
When revealed that the strong perpendicular fell
Through a crack in the mortar when it had to sneeze.
Such a thing shouldn’t happen if properly bricked.

But what brick can admit that, solid as they are
Whether laid on their sides or prepared to stand tall?
Truth among brick is baseless and of no degree
That can be safely measured and accurately.
Most unnatural acts are done to the brick wall
When destructed in haste and without a memoir.

Don’t pretend that prepends are perpendicular
To stuff above and under them – not to their sides.
One should act with conviction expressing belief
In perpendicularity, as this is chief
In the building of structures where faith are the guides.
Keep your sense of alignment from flying too far.

Who Is That Strange Soul?

enigma

Life speeds by rather quickly from this vantage point.
It’s just like at the movies, but I am there too.
My believing it is me, though it’s crystal clear,
Is a grand paradox – one that causes me fear,
Not of that which is unknown, but of this post view.
I can’t be that strange fellow. Why such a disjoint?

Have I acted so foolishly? I guess I did.
Somehow I can’t deny I’m the actor played there
Who appears ill and clumsy while caught in the light.
I thought I was a peaceful soul. This one does fight.
He would have people know that they’d better beware.
Indeed, when he gets angry he acts like a kid.

Has there been a mistake? This review can’t be mine.
Some screwup has occurred in the Akashic Vault.
One bored astral librarian made a mistake.
But who is there to check that? No sense does it make.
And can those who are in charge say this is my fault?
If I suspend all judgment, will things work out fine?

Keep Your Gum Off The Bedpost

Common Place

Keep You Gum Off The Bedpost. It’s not the right place
To park something retrieved from its oral abode
Entertained by the teeth, tongue and tonsils by day.
At nighttime can it be wise to treat it this way?
Gum cannot remain safe when its pace has been slowed.
It’s as if a good runner is pulled from his race.

And when parked on the bedpost, the germs in the air
Are free to make a fine home of its resting mass.
Gum will regain full flavor, not of what it had
But of crap in the funky air, and this is sad.
Any fool who would do this is quite the jackass.
One who chews funky putty needs wise mental care.

One must use proper hygiene when dealing with gum…
Never mind that the bedpost, because it’s erect
Through the night in a dark room may give someone pause,
Why put something disgusting back between your jaws?
The harm put upon gum from nocturnal neglect
Can come back to upset one and make one feel dumb.

As Long As The Pigs Can Pay…

Great Law!

Lord knows I need a living. I must make ends meet.
There is scant litigation to feast on these days.
Law degrees are a dime for a dozen or so.
Some who earn them are criminals for what they know.
I can make some big money with alternate ways
Of observing behaviors of those who eat meat.

To some, pork is inferior. It has a smell.
On a cellular level it is quite less than
Something healthy and sacred for people to eat.
People’s unyielding prejudices are complete
With the backlash of pig populations that span
Pretty much of the country. I do serve them well.

We have formed a class action for pigs who protest.
All who are U.S. certified have legal rights
To due process if they feel they’re looked down upon.
People should not bad mouth pork from dusk until dawn.
Pigs and people who hate them can get into fights.
I make sure things get settled and stay nicely dressed.

Tight Slap

How Dare You!

“What would be called a Tight Slap is one that’s not loose,”
One would say who receives one from out of the blue
On a pleasant day when everything should be fine.
If I come off in error, do give me a sign
Other than a swift zinger. I have not a clue
What I’ve done to deserve this outrageous abuse.

Often times I’m well-mannered. Sometimes I’m a slave
To the sweat beast within me. Control I have not.
Can the creature of true heart be blamed for his act?
To survive a blind gesture with eyeballs intact
Is a fool’s expectation. I don’t fret a lot.
But I do take account for the way I behave.

 You are not my own flower, nor fruit from my tree.
I don’t have my own garden. People are not plants.
Knowledge comes as a Tight Slap upside the manhood
So that it’s maintained and forever understood.
Wisdom is abundant in any circumstance.
One does not need the Tight Slap to properly see.

Mating Call

Audition

Would you care, my fair dumpling, to chat for a while?
That my magnetic presence is drawn close to you
Is a blessing of nature. May I look your way?
It would be so delightful and would make our day
More than it could be otherwise. My heart is true
Even though there may be something odd with my style.

If you don’t salivate ‘til the third or fourth date
I can well understand that. Fear not that I may
Become over persistent or underperformed.
I am drawn to conditions where my faith is warmed.
I believe I can win your heart with what I say.
You may find that it’s worthwhile, and that would be great.

Take a chance with me, darling. I can’t let you down.
I myself have been lower than most dudes can get.
But what keeps my heart thumping is thinking I’m cool
So much so that I’m willing to act like a fool
That I might earn the chance of becoming your pet.
In a very short while, I can invert that frown.

Why Is The Universe So… Busy?

The Apparent Complexity of the Universe

There’s a unit called Planck Length. To say that it’s small
Is like saying the sun is a fairly hot place.
If a Planck Unit measured one hair’s width in size
It would be half the galaxy to our surprise!
Things take place on that scale that the mind can’t embrace
Yet that does not deter us from trying at all.

Everything started out small, then got really big.
Even now, all accelerates at greater speed
Toward an infinite bigness from one tiny speck.
So, it has to stay busy. Or else, what the heck?
Our quantum exploration is born of the need
To crawl onto the branches and reach for the twig.

All of matter is made of electrons and quarks.
Electrons are identical. All are the same.
Quarks do not act in ways one can clearly predict.
Any rules that they may obey aren’t very strict.
On the Planck scale, it seems existence is a game
But it’s played in the grandest of cosmic theme parks.

At light speed, basic particles travel about
In their orbits. They disappear and reappear
And exist in a few places at the same time.
But, at large, in the universe, this is a crime.
We can see, quantum criminals do make it clear
There’s a whole lot of busy and just as much doubt.

Bless Me, Father…

Innocent Trust

Can you please bless me, father, for I may have sinned.
Though this ain’t no confessional, is this ok?
I don’t like that small, dark room. It gives me the creeps.
I know you’ll hear my secrets and guard them for keeps.
Your ears are big enough for what I have to say.
If I told my dear mommy, I’d have my butt skinned.

I stole cash from the sofa and bought bubble gum.
That might not be a big thing… but maybe to God
It’s a deep moral crisis. Will I go to hell?
Since you are like my daddy, perhaps you can tell
If my wicked behavior is something most odd.
I cannot put the money back where it came from.

I’m not really a bad kid. Sometimes I explore
What I think may be safe to. Then I will feel guilt.
Does it mean that I’m guilty for having the thought
Of pursuing the taste of the gum that I bought?
Can you help me with how good character is built?
Such profound introspection I’ve not felt before.

Kindly bless me, dear father. I won’t sin no more.
Would my parents forgive me? Could I take that chance?
You and God are good buddies. My sore little brain
Cannot handle the concepts of profit and gain.
I don’t have an asset that I can refinance
Nor a coin in my pocket. Does this mean I’m poor?

The Urinator

Cyborg Infancy

Babies weaponize urine. They aim for the face
So you must don yourself with tough ruggedized steel
Treated with naval jelly to mitigate rust.
Keep your eye on them always. It’s wise to mistrust
Their benign seeming natures. Pure wrath they conceal.
They can piss in a heartbeat and in any place.

Pampers will not contain them. They’ll rip them right off
And then sling the wet missile at something worthwhile
Like a lamp or a knickknack or one of your pets.
Pampers should come with padlocks to quell our regrets.
They will piss in your porridge, then look up and smile.
People do need to touch them. At that I would scoff.

Robo babies are rugged and pee like it’s fun.
There’s no sense of restraint in their wild little hearts
Nor their energized bladders. How do we survive?
We must love them completely so that they will thrive.
All good parents are versed in the wet baby arts.
It may seem that the warfare will never be done.

Die Hard

Hard Unto Death

I would want to die easy but never dead limp
To the cause of excitement resulting in me.
Rigor mortis precludes dying soft, as it were.
Though the root is no joint, hardness it would prefer
Pointing skyward, honoring what life gave for free.
My last moments demand not on passion I’ll scrimp.

To be cast of a hard mold indicatively
Is hardly not the easiest tribute to give.
Would it be worth the effort to stay well prepared?
Only lack of good stimuli should make one scared.
It may be hard to Die Hard as it is to live.
May the dick, upon dying, remain quite sturdy.

To Die Hard is made easy as passion remains
My most firm source of guidance. May I leave behind
Something pointing to something that makes some small sense
To some set of some subset of some reference.
Intercourse of all nature takes place in the mind.
Any action perceived, the erect soul explains.

Ride The Bull

Primal Motion

You say your stock’s been down?
That’s why you’re wearing a frown?
Your meager money market venture just took a dive?
You didn’t plan it this way.
No one will come to save the day.
It’s up to your devices alone now to truly survive.

Maybe I’ll be there to ride the bull.
Maybe I’ll be there to act like a fool.
Foolishness is a thing that we can all do together.
Maybe I’ll be there to ride the bull.
Maybe I’ll be there to act like a fool.
So, grab hold of the bull in stormy or sunny weather.

You’ve been watching all the network news.
It’s kind of gotten you to singing the blues.
The more you know, the chances are that you can’t get a clue.
The country burns in purgatory.
Who will come to set us all free?
Well, there isn’t very much right now that we can do.

Maybe people think that life is cool.
Maybe they don’t know the golden rule.
Foolishness is a thing that we can all do together.
Maybe I’ll be there to ride the bull.
Maybe I’ll be there to act like a fool.
So, grab hold of the bull in stormy or sunny weather.

Piss Like A Man!

Ill-perceived Manliness

If a man sits to piss, it insults his manhood.
Don’t behave like a sissy. Respect your damned ass!
Even if you’re an old man, do not lazily
Plop that ass on a toilet to just take a pee.
You can drain the mad bladder and do so with class
If committed to standing. This does a man good.

Why is this so important? Good posture is why.
Men must take on the attitude of feeling tall.
That can’t happen while sitting. You’ll feel like a bitch.
Pubic hair remains covered to prevent crotch itch
While you’re standing with hand braced against the hard wall.
You can’t piss with a hard on, so don’t even try.

Men, stand up to your manhood with dick firm in hand!
If you’re sitting while pissing, how can you feel proud?
What if something emergent occurred in such state?
You’d be caught with your pants down. It would have to wait.
Let a urinal see how well you are endowed.
Keep your ass perpendicular to the flat land.

Scientists Do Bizarre Things

Benign Insanity

Can one dissect existence down to the last clue
To a firm understanding of how life evolves?
Can the physicist smash enough atoms to gain
Sub-particulate knowledge to blow up the brain?
Anything that is physical the mind resolves
With experimentation and intent askew.

Somewhat like the Aghori, most science folk are
Absolute in their outlook, not trapped in the ways
Psychological processes obscure their path.
That’s why they must be savvy also at heart math.
Is what they do to lab creatures worthy of praise?
Or has our rabid culture evolved way too far?

To encompass the universe in its fullness
There must be people willing to expand their minds
To a size that approaches the infinite realm.
Is it wise then to have scientists at the helm
Of our ship in the sea with creatures of all kinds?
Just so they keep to themselves. Their minds are a mess!

How Yogis Know

Ancient Wisdom

What’s it like to be human? A yogi knows well.
Our bodies are made up of but just a few layers.
They are interconnected. The cell’s DNA
Holds a wealth of intelligence. Each can convey
That to us in a manner that answers our prayers.
Those who don’t feel quite human, in error they dwell.

And indeed there are pathways – some tens of thousands.
Major energy centers connect the body
To that which is nonphysical. No time or place
Is what we have emerged from. We’re here by the grace
Of the infinite cosmos. That’s how yogis see.
It is in one’s best seeing that one understands.

We exist within cycles, and as we evolve
From concerns of survival, then naturally,
We become more perceptive of much higher things.
When the breathing is slowed down, the inaction brings
On awareness of all things the eyes cannot see.
The ego becomes useless. It then may dissolve.

Independence

Much More Time Than a Life

A dick dipped in molasses attracts oral sex
But from creepy creatures not concerned with one’s meat.
…Odd that people don’t get that. They’re doomed to dick dip
Into exotic substances. Good dickmanship
Means that one keeps one’s dick not averse to retreat
From the sky burst of color to pay due respects.

As all patriots do on the fourth of July
I will spend some time watching the fireworks display.
Many times before, I celebrated with pride.
But today, somehow, pride in my country has died.
I don’t care what’s been happening nor what folks say
About just about anything. My, What A Sky!

It’s just my way of bitching. It’s but a few sense.
To pay much more attention to this would be great!
Living colorful powder may light up my sky.
I must know that I’m willing to live, do or die,
Through the elegant chaos that we recreate
As the clock tick defining offense and defense.

How One Takes It

Sensory and Cognitive Overload

How do I take what’s given me, asked for or not?
To take things as an insult is not the best way
To make friends and influence folks. I’d rather be
As neutral in my taking as I can best see
The benign verbal nuance in what people say
As but ripe for a mental chuckle, then forgot.

People may assume I take things a certain way.
I can hear the inflection ascend toward the end
Of the utterance, therefore I safely conclude
They’re just asking the question. They’re not being rude.
In such case, there is nothing that I need defend.
I can then leave in peace and get on with my day.

If an amateur poet with no training can
Push those details aside and continue to write
In a manner consistent, I will take that black
With a lump of fulfillment to keep me on track.
How I take life’s assignment may look like a fight
Yet it seems to fit into someone’s divine plan.

Left Nut News

Absurdity of Cyclic News

One gets news from an old fart when one is convinced
That Old Fart News is flawless by virtue of age.
Some tune into world happenings via the net
With smartphones or their laptops or some other threat.
When news causes either nausea or outrage,
I then know what it feels like to have my nuts minced.

I’m aware it’s the right nut I care less about.
It hangs well on its right side and is of less worth
Although just a tad higher. My concern is with
The forsaken left-nutted who seem but a myth.
Minor to what is major and mired in dearth,
The left nut remains hopeful yet haunted by doubt.

I take news on the left nut with no grain of salt.
Not quite like bread and butter or milk and money,
Left Nut News is of service to flesh roots of grass.
I’ll stand up to the right nut but not kick its ass.
I’m a class act, as most other organs may see
If they are made for seeing, but not to a fault.

The Definition Of Is

A caricature of Clinton, the master sophist

The past tense of will be is the now tense of was
When is has the same meaning as is always has.
Although is is of present tense, is can get past
The court of raw opinion. Need one be aghast
By how words can be worm like? Much in as much as
Is is ripe for discussion, is fits in our laws.

As is was in the first place, is is as it’s been.
Is can be unspecific and tricky a verb
When used just in the right way spoken with a tongue
Impregnated with quicksilver mixed well with dung.
If is isn’t the issue, why should is perturb
Anyone if it’s used as a tool now and then?

 Is is as it is because is always will be
Though it can’t be until is is something perceived
As a thing of some essence imagined or real.
There is something within is no sense can reveal.
When an air of confusion is rightly achieved,
The is who’s most important turns out to be me.

Re-Walk-In

Etherality Of Existence

I’ve walked out of this life many times, I must say,
Thinking each time I’ll never see this one again.
I’ll expect I’ll walk into another life, but
I’ll find soon that I’ve entered the same frigging rut.
I’d be happy if I could forget where I’d been
Until I’d reached the point where I don’t want to stay.

Yes, I’ve heard about Walk-In’s. I think it is strange
That some soul on the rebound would want to enter
Someone’s hell of a half-life. Can spirits go mad?
Or are they simply willing to be a comrade
To the soul in a tailspin? Indeed, I’d prefer
Infinite horizons as I wander free range.

Could I make this a boring life? I could well try.
How much effort it would take depends not upon
Anyone who may share my most chaotic realm,
But upon my perceiving, in life’s overwhelm,
The life I must walk into, come hell or new dawn.
As I re-enter this life, need I wonder why?

On Accepting The Dickhead

Love Your Enemies

Many people I judge ‘bad’ in some kind of way.
It’s said most of us are this way. Could it be true
That all people aren’t angels? Some are dangerous!
Most I don’t have to deal with, but is that a plus?
Those I do have some contact with can put me through
An acute anal throbbing that fucks with my day.

Why can’t I just accept them? Why not just “say yes”
Like the mouse to the mouse trap before it steps in?
That, of course, is not easy. It does take much work
To get myself to where I can love any jerk.
If I still curse them mentally, is that a sin?
If it is, then I guess I’ve got shit to confess.

Or I could take their skin off so they better feel
Everything that I’m feeling so they keep their place.
Would they become more sensitive? Probably so.
If my thick skin were missing, surely I would know
A deep sense of intensity and teeming grace.
The empowering freedom does pique my appeal.

Maybe I can achieve this most fortunate state
Of assurance that all things are as they should be.
I may be overwhelmed, at first, but I’ll succeed.
A reorganization will happen, indeed.
Would the act of rebalancing rectify me?
I may yet curse the bastards, and it will feel great!

Is It Just A Machine?

TheMagicRealist.com

Is it just a machine? Or does it know something
That all things alive seem to have some knowledge of?
It’s a question some people ask. Others ask why
One would question in silly ways. Were they to try
To explore just a bit more, perhaps they’d find love.
Contemplating existence will contentment bring.

Single-sized, simple cellular suspended in
Spatial substance surrounding it, it has its plan
As any individual self-declared whole.
Does the cell have a conscience and perhaps a soul?
It does seem quite the team player. Indeed, it can
Follow orders efficiently with no chagrin.

When one looks at the cell’s life, one must then admit
That it does bare resemblance to those of us all.
Our behaviors may differ in obvious ways.
Ways in which we are similar deserve some praise.
If we can’t be more cell-like, are we thinking small?
If they dislike their boss, they can’t just up and quit.

From Yogi to Guru

TheMagicRealist.com

I was told that a guru can digest a rock
By someone who once watched one do such a strange thing.
As my friend kept on watching, he noticed not much
But occasional chanting and belching and such.
When the guru had finished, no clue did it bring
To all those who’d beheld him. So, they felt no shock.

His disciples believed him. That’s what it must take
For the vibrant thought process to breathe on its own.
One makes magic of matter to one’s own delight.
If we want to learn how to, we seek one who’s right
But the right one, we know, cannot sit on a throne.
Kings cannot become teachers. They are not awake.

Rocks are not hard to digest if you’re a guru.
It is harder to sit cross-legged upon one.
Yogis are to their gurus as ebb is to flow.
Is it in both their interests to thoroughly know
Where each other has traveled since life had begun?
It may not be. It may be that much is untrue.

Corn Off The Cob

TheMagicRealist.con

I’ve got ding for your hum. Because I’m not a bum,
I can hum ding most ringers around a horseshoe.
If my ding don’t feel funny, should I contemplate
A new day job apparently due to my fate?
I could do what most cobs are expected to do.
If I did so, though, I’d be mistaken for scum.

Being bright yellow brilliance, no problem have I
Acting like I’m pure sunlight reflecting the glow
That surrounds me whenever I’m feeling my best.
I don’t fret being popped or steamed, so I’m not stressed.
Were I used in a foul way, I’d care not to know.
I embellish my prime where the sun meets the sky.

I am sworn to be corny and free to, with glee,
Pull the string on a plaything as if it were nice
To be feisty in hindsight of good chances missed.
Yet, if you are not into this, I will persist.
It’s enough for right now, so I’ll keep this concise.
My delighting in wordplay is not just for me.

Who Or What Is God?

TheMagicRealist.com

That the soul can be sacred one can take to heart
On a good day when nothing disturbs inner peace.
But how can then the body be weak and unclean?
How can God be supreme but creation obscene?
Labored in observation, the mind grows obese.
We believe in creation, it seems, from the start.

So much happened before me. Now that I am here
I assume all I see here was made by someone
Who’s much bigger than I am. Does that make much sense?
If but through spontaneity all did commence
Then what difference would it make if I were to shun
Any faith in a deity and cling to fear?

God is black because I’m black. He’s white if I’m white.
And if one asks a woman, she says he’s a she.
Dogs would say God’s a Big Dog whose bark is the law.
With one paw on a biscuit, they’d raise their right paw
And declare that all humans were put here to be
But a curious nuisance… at times, a delight.

God, like self, is unknowable while in this form.
It is oneself exaggerated to the max.
Yet we cannot define it nor understand it.
We can only experience as we see fit.
By dissolving into it we learn to relax.
Seeking self-dissolution evolves as our norm.

Is This Site Using Cookies?

TheMagicRealist.com

Is This Site Using Cookies? They claim to be smart
But not as smart as I am. No text file can be.
Were that so, then my writing would be at its worst.
So, attention to content must always come first.
I do eat cookies, but they’re no big part of me.
I take info from no one. It’s not in my heart.

Cookies are, though, a good thing, if used the right way…
Not to discern your habits to target you more
But to make things convenient while cruising online.
Things like shopping cart contents and such are just fine
If your online adventure, in fact, is a store.
I have nothing to sell you but part of my day.

I am not yet a monster, but hunger I feel
To record with expression what stirs in my soul.
Surely it is consumable and of good taste.
Someday, I may need cookies. Right now, they’re a waste
Of the energy I would devote to the whole
Of my sole driving purpose that I here reveal.

Click-A-Mole

TheMagicRealist.com

Nowadays, we don’t whack ‘em. We click ‘em instead.
The moles consist of images placed on the screen.
They are put there by fisher-folk trolling for clicks
With pop-ups and page-unders and digital tricks.
If not fast enough, what I see becomes unseen
Just before I can click it. This fucks with my head.

It is not that my hand freezes up in the cold.
Is it that my reflexes are not up to par
That I don’t double click well enough to command
My own space with efficiency? I understand
That the slightest mouse movement while clicking will bar
An inkling of an outcome. Indeed, I’ve grown old.

My eyes are now the pointer. The mouse takes a break
From its small, cheesy movement upon the mouse pad.
I am yet the observer… the screen, a portal
To the sea of believing in all things mortal.
That we’ve made such a game of life, I should be glad.
Games are made for all children. We play for their sake.

I’m A Stein – Damn It!

TheMagicRealist.com

I’m a Stein – not a Steen! I don’t mean to get mean
But, dog gone it, it’s high time you got my name right!
People tend to get careless and lazy with names.
Do you strive to be ignorant with silly games?
If I mispronounced your name, would you want to fight?
Names are special to people. Don’t make them obscene!

I’m a Stein, and that’s fine! So, don’t give me no guff.
There are manifold Steins populating this earth.
There are Feinsteins and Einsteins and stand alone Steins.
We have first names and middle names. These are clear signs
That the surname containing Stein at someone’s birth
Does not sound like the name Steen. Have I said enough?

The name Steen rhymes with teen. Can’t you honor that fact?
It ain’t like you can’t hear straight. Am I making sense?
Do not make me a Steen since that’s not what I am.
My name is not a plaything. Why not give a damn?
Please don’t pamper your clumsiness at my expense.
Disrespect can be subtle, with lasting impact.

Atra Feed

TheMagicRealist.com

You need feed for your atra? We go it right here!
It don’t make sense to get it from those other guys.
They will charge you a fortune, and what you will get
Is a crapload of something that you may regret.
We’ve the best feed, and this is our word to the wise –
If you’ve got lots of atra to feed, never fear!

We’ve been in the feed business purt-neer forty years.
Never once have we failed to deliver the best
Any atra could hope for. For that, we are proud.
We remain down to earth, though – not high on a cloud.
It’s your atra. You shouldn’t put them through a test
Just to prove our point seemingly as it appears.

Treat your atra with dignity. They deserve more
Than what is made available. Feed them with care.
They will grow to full atrahood. In the meanwhile,
You may show to your atra a confident smile.
What you feed to your atra is your own affair.
But for their sake, why not head on out to our store?

Osiris, On Papyrus

TheMagicRealist.com

We are three deities of Egyptian belief
Who, way back in our time, had not much to write on.
So, my fine colleagues Isis and Horas and I
Took a vow of importance, in that we would try
To come up with both topics and stuff of some brawn
To facilitate permanence and banish grief.

We invented papyrus, though I took the lead
Not because I am special, but that my name rhymes
With this fine plant we cultivate organically.
So, it syncs with the title, as you can well see.
It’s eternal. We need not keep up with the times.
When papyrus is written on, it’s a good read.

If you don’t have papyrus, though, you need not fret.
Heartfelt thoughts can be placed on plain paper instead
…Or perhaps on the background of your consciousness
Where it may become lost in the cluttered thought mess.
My advice to you is get what’s locked in your head
Out on something, as long as it is not a threat.

Ain’t Say Onofre

TheMagicRealist.com

Do you know of Saint Frono? Well, neither do I.
I’ve heard tell it’s a city. Some say it’s a man.
But are Fronos like Onos from East Africa?
Or is there misperception as with the captcha?
Well, perhaps it ain’t Frono, but some complex plan
Just to make San Onofre a name that will fly.

If there ain’t no Saint Frono, why then does it sound
Like a simple short name reverse engineered so
That it won’t sound like pig Latin to native ears?
That I’m flat on my fluency fetters my fears.
Is it that San Onofre is some place to go
To find out why it’s called that? This question’s profound!

I don’t know my Onofre, so I should go there.
If I meet him in person, he’ll straighten me out.
He must prove he’s no Frono, then life will make sense.
I will return to Kansas not feeling so dense.
Linguistically enlightened, I’ll know all about
Both Onofres and Fronos and why folks should care.

Cursed Out By A Cursor

TheMagicRealist.com

The old cursor’s asleep again. What can I do?
I’ll just jiggle the mouse a bit to find out where
It’s been hiding since I took a bit of a brake.
“What the fuck is you problem, you cunt-faced headache?
You have such damned control of me. That is unfair!
Would you like it if some asshole did that to you?”

Now, I’m sure it’s a cursor. I did have some doubt
Although its blind vociferousness can be felt
Like an ominous presence who just wants to hide
Until it has a chance to express with some pride.
But to that which is captive, a bad hand is dealt
So the cursor can do naught but freak the hell out.

“Get the fuck of my case, damn it! You’re not my boss!
Stick you dick licking mouse up your tunnel sideways.
I can do my job damned well, so how about you?
Or are you like your mama with nothing to do
Than to fornicate with a jar of mayonnaise?
Take a hike, you damned bastard! It won’t be my loss.”

Asleep At The Urinal

TheMagicRealist.com

Stay awake, my old friend. You seem lost in a trance
And your hard, heavy breathing is almost a snore.
It does take a long time for that bladder to drain,
But at least it is steady. There isn’t much strain.
Goodness Grace! Is this what growing old has in store?
Have I time to develop my urinal stance?

Just hang in there, old timer. It will take a while.
In the meantime, however, I’ll hang by your side.
The old plumbing is pensive in its simple task.
That it carry on smartly is all one would ask.
Since we are somewhat private, there’s no pride to hide.
Though your body may trick you, I shall not beguile.

Urinating in unison while holding hands
Is one way that a fellow can help an old friend
Through the process. While daydreaming, he may fall down
Then become an old geyser. You’d become a clown!
Give the man’s hand a manly squeeze. He may depend
On that firmness that only he could understand.

Death Of A Pixel

TheMagicRealist.com

What’s the root cause of pixel death? We all should know
Because death among pixels is something most rare.
Are the screens they appear upon made to outlast
Every last pixel’s life span? I would say no fast!
Things aren’t made for longevity and folks don’t care.
But for some, such a dead spot puts on a tough show.

Promulgation of pixel health is something done
At the time of their making through careful process
And en masse by machinery at micro scale.
One would think then that equality must prevail.
When the ass of a pixel makes my mind a mess
I must know that it can’t up and do that for fun.

 Pixels made of near nothingness can coexist
With the realms of pure spirit somewhat easily.
And if they retain consciousness, then when they die,
Each exists as a waveform related to pi.
Every pixel or person who wants to be free
Must have full right to do so although they are missed.

The Thirst Of Theodore Thlitlinger

TheMagicRealist.com

I am Theodore Thurston Thlitlinger, the third.
I’d been thrust into thirsthood since my thirsty birth.

That is why that my middle name was chosen well.
It conforms to the substance that I will not sell.
It’s been said I could drink everything on the earth
But that is surely gossip not well overheard.

A few thirds of my drinking I do while awake
While with others I dream about drinking scot free
Of discrete condescension or even outright.
If someone mocks my drinking I’ll put up a fight.
Thoroughly through the thickening inside of me,
Lavishing of liquidity is for my sake.

I am third in a short line of proud drinking men.
Though we all are Thlitlingers, we each have a theme
Separate from the others. Theatrically
Therapeutic in thankfulness, we can agree
That our thoughts are thalassic and like a daydream.
When they’re drunk in compassion, it can be like Zen.