Tag Archive | emotional scale

On Beating The Blues

Endless Cycles Of Gloom

An old man on a job search is death wish engaged
At full throttle straight into the darkness of hell.
Able bodied I am with an excellent mind
But this world doesn’t see that. In essence, it’s blind
To what I have to offer. I’m just a hard sell
To the age of the phone app. Indeed I’m outraged.

But who gives a bat’s dropping among hell’s elite?
Having spent the last few weeks as a prostitute
On the road and in offices for interviews
That upset and degrade me, I’ll not self-abuse
As I sense that’s the intent because they can’t shoot
Me for sport or for pleasure. Still I’m in defeat.

Sent way out to the boondocks through Amazon Flex
With a carload of packages on gravel roads
With no God Damned thing guiding me but a phone app
Then the fucking phone dies. The whole day’s turned to crap
I bent over and puckered for copious loads
Of the dark seed of Satan in virtual sex.

I’d take this as a joke played on me with a smile
And forget like a bad dream what’s happened to me
If I were a lot younger – not old and depressed.
Vows I’ve made to my doctors were not made in jest
But when push comes to shove one would have to agree
That to ask for a breastfeeding isn’t my style.

I cannot be employed, yet Magic I create.
I have many fine talents and education
That I’m still paying off after decades by now.
This life hates my damned guts. This fact I can allow
To solidify suicidal decision.
But for now, I’ve decided to nourish my hate.

Never Feel Negative?

Achieving The Impossible?

There’s this thing called “The Stream.” Everything in it flows
Only in one direction. The current some fight,
And this taxes the mood. People bring themselves down
Putting forth so much effort perfecting the frown.
Others let “The Stream” carry them and find delight
In the places it takes them. Their happiness shows.

To believe in “The Process” is simply to know
That I can always catch myself losing control
In a ‘tense’ situation. I’m pointed upstream!
My emotions cause me to act in the extreme.

In the moment I realize this, I’m more whole.
Letting go of the oars, I can let “The Stream” row.

Just let go of the bullshit. It’s not worth the harm
That it does to the spirit, and in the release
I will notice The Turning immediately.
And in time pleasant manifestations I’ll see.
Confidence in my worthiness must then increase.
“The Process” takes some practice but works like a charm.

“The Stream” moves rather quickly after turning me
In the proper direction. So, my letting go
Of the thoughts that upset me is all that I need
In any situation to get myself freed
From my having turned upstream. And now that I know,
No excuse have I for acting negatively.