Tag Archive | character defects

His New Story

Defeated

In the midst of despair, not a question have I.
It would take too much energy for me to know
What to ask, yet the answers I feel all too well.
I partake of the numbness to counter the spell
Cast upon me. I wallow in consummate woe
As existence itself prepares for me to die.

I don’t want to go through this. Somewhere in my soul
I know that the solution to this life of hell
Is not to cut it short nor to waste it away
Wondering how I’m going to get through each day.
How can I come up with a new story to tell
Of this person whose life has been out of control?

Under the influence of misunderstanding
I escaped. Temporary relief it gave me.
I performed not the way others wanted me to.
All my character defects were clearly in view
Of the world, but it took all that for me to see
A new story that is constantly expanding.

Enough time have I spent focusing on what’s wrong
With my character and other things about me
That can’t change in an instant. I have no regrets
Over what I can’t change. This reality sets
Me free from my own bondage. By now I can see
My new self in a world where I truly belong.

New Story

The Ever Unfolding Drama

Once upon a tough lifetime, the fool I became
Disconnected me from myself and family.
An awful disappointment I am to them now.
Resolution is futile. I can but allow
Divine guidance to soothe the decayed part of me
Who continues the story of sorrow and shame.

The process of atonement will not complete here
In the realm of the physical. It’s much too late.
Criminal are offenses that I’ve committed.
My life hangs by the tiniest bit of a thread.
Addicted to self-loathing, the hell I create
Is the product of thinking and acting from fear.

Any troublesome story deserves a rewrite
No matter how disgusting and vile it may be.
I’d been under the influence of human pain.
No regret have I. My actions I can’t explain.
I can remain the victim of insanity
Or amend the whole story to something more bright.

Life is short, and its meaning I’m left to pursue
Through intense introspection with much gratitude
For the lessons I’m given so that I may grow.
That I am worthy is all that I need to know.
If I don’t take this attitude, then I am screwed.
Any story can be changed to something brand new.