Please listen carefully; our menu options have changed.
…Not really true, but just for you, the meaning’s just the same.
Get off our backs, and go relax.  Don’t get yourself deranged.
Because you need to call us, you’re the only one to blame.

It costs us tons of money just to sit and chat with you.
Our customer’s the reason why technology evolves
To where we can’t be bothered much.  Does that give you a clue?
You are still the centerpiece around whom life revolves,

But only in the sense your money keeps our ship afloat
And our customers are millions.  How could we, ourselves, engage
With each and every one of you?  We’d slice our own damned throat!
That’s why we use our software though it fills most folks with rage.

We’re people, too, and, just like you, we’ve service in our hearts.
Our menus are to guide you to the specialist on hand,
Yet, mostly, they do end up causing manifold false starts.
Our motto’s very simple: “Do the best with what you can.”