No time for warm fuzzies; no time to kiss ass
This country’s in trouble, oh but alas
You’re sharp shooting me for the revealing, crass things that I say?

My record is proven. I do get things done
And while I’m doing them, I have lots of fun
I’ll grab hold of this nation and get it to run
Just like a reality show. It’s much better that way

 Yeah, that Megyn’s a witch, but then why should I care
Even though she cleverly managed to curl my fake hair
With a zinger that seemed to come from right out of left field

My position on women is: I’m always on top
I prefer they be sexy AND to know how to mop
And, if they’re superb, I just may send them to shop
In short, I like them quiet, trained and well-kneeled

 And, as for you Mexicans. You can all take a hike
Right back over the border by foot or by bike
Except for those few who can do as well as I do

I have a great relationship with all of you blacks
And I’ll say just the same thing behind all your backs
Though whenever I’m around you, I can’t seem to relax
If you get me elected, I’ll proclaim Spade Haven for you