Subconscious Sabotage

Sub-Surface Self-Undoing

When I try to maintain presence throughout the day,
My subconscious need for superiority
Sabotages my progress. As an example,
People anxious around me when I am peaceful
I resent with a passion. Yet if they were me,
I’d expect warmth and kindness. Why am I this way?

Is this normal among people? Am I unique?
Or is my nagging issue not of importance
To the general public? Were I not aware
That I’m asking these questions, then would it be fair
To say that I’m unconscious in living by chance
That the mind will provide me the answers I seek?

I’m aware of awareness of being aware
Of my mental creations, then cunningly so,
Mind reenters and hijacks the presence I’d gained
And creates a new story wherein I’m restrained
In its falsified structure. It’s good that I know
How the mind plays its tricks and tries to keep me there.

To not know that I know not that I am asleep
Is to live in confusion and utter chaos
Within stories created from subconscious fears.
Many problems are caused by what’s between my ears.
If I simply observe it all, there’ll be no loss.
To remain not awakened, the price isn’t cheap.